Untouchable
by The Dark Knight's Princess
Summary: She wasn't supposed to fall in love. That was not part of the agreement and it most definitely wasn't part of the plan. She is supposed to have a plan for everything. But she doesn't have one for this. Falling in love was not the assignment on the assignment agenda. Not only that, but she has fallen in love with the most untouchable person on the planet. It wasn't the plan. AU A/C
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ahh, alas, this lovely story I've been dying to write. Here is that first chapter that you guys wanted so bad, and I really think you're gonna like it. I know when it was presented to me, I fell in love with it immediately and I haven't started thinking about it since. **

**As some of you requested, you wanted to see a bit more of a dominant Alex, or a 'knight in shinning armor' if you will. Well, I think that this story will most definitely satisfy that. Anyhow, enough of this, let the story begin! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Law and Order Character, or any other character from any other show that I might stea-*cough* **_**borrow**_** for entertainment purposes. **

_**Alex POV **_

I would be lying through my teeth if I tell anyone that I'm not nervous right now. I mean, sure my name has already been called, I've already received my credentials, and the director has already shaken my hand but for some odd reason, I am still shaking in my boots; and I do mean literally. Plus, my palms are sweaty, my throat is dry, and it feels like it's a thousand degrees in here. I don't know, maybe it's the fact that I am currently sitting in between two men who are probably ten feet taller than me.

Okay, maybe that last part was a bit of an exaggeration. I have been considered to be relatively tall for a woman. I am five foot nine inches. I've always been tall though. Even when I was in the second grade, I was always the tall awkward girl in my class. But compared to the guys I'm sitting next to, I may as well be three feet tall.

Anyway, a little about my self, is that I've pretty much always been the kid at the bottom. I was always ahead in school which basically ended up having me skip a few grades here and there. I did graduate a little early, but that gave me time to work on a few degrees that I had foreseen as goals in my life.

I had always had a passion for law enforcement and ever being determined to follow my dream, I became your typical cop when I was only twenty one, but as expected by the commissioner, I had advanced rather quickly. I really did enjoy my time as a cop, and if there is ever a job that will 'toughen you up' that's the one that will do it.

Being a police officer is obviously a job that is dominated by the male gender, but I was determined not to let that get the best of me, and being the one and only woman on my squad insured that I was going to prove myself to the rest of the guys.

Things were a little rough for me at first because I could tell all the guys on the squad thought I was 'just another woman who thought she could do a man's job'. One of them actually said that to me in a joking matter, but I could tell there was some underlying truth to his words and believe me when I say that it took everything I had not to shoot his balls off right then and there.

It took a little while for me to fit in, but after awhile, the guys finally realized that this girl was definitely 'not just a woman'. This quote unquote 'skinny blonde' could kick the ass off of any perp that she wanted to, and I made sure that the guys on the squad new that. So, we grew to be a family, and instead of just plain looking down on me in a skeptical manner, they looked at me as if I was their little sister; but they sure as hell realized that I could hold my own.

I grew to love my job, and after a while, I did advance and was promoted from a uniform to being a detective. Now that move did piss a lot of people off. You see, very few take the detective's test, but even fewer actually pass it, and even fewer than _that _are actually promoted. Some of the detective's I worked with resented me for a little while, especially my partner. He had fed me some half assed story about how it had taken him almost fifteen years to be promoted to detective, where as it literally took me three. He acted as if that was my problem.

Working as a detective was fine and everything, but probably after a year and a half, I realized that I wanted more. I wanted to go beyond my expectations from everyone else and I wanted to exceed the goal that I had first sought out to reach.

So all of that pretty much explains why I am sitting here sweating like a hoe in church at my own graduation ceremony. I never thought that I would get to where I am, but hey, miracles do happen right? Boy I wish those jerks back in fifth grade could see me now. Clumsy Cabot is gone, baby! Oh yes, I was taunted quite a bit back then, and I'd be here all day if I listed all of the nicknames I've been given in all of my twenty six years.

I take several deep breaths and I realize that the First Lady has almost finished her speech to all of us graduates. And yes, I do mean the First Lady as in the First Lady who is married to none other than the President of the United States.

A few of my colleagues had been joking around about how in the past the First Lady would actually attend our graduation ceremony and actually give us a 'motivational speech' if you will. I did believe them, but hell, I guess the jokes on me but here she is flashing her perfect white teeth at all of us nobodies who were looking for a way to be somebody.

As the First Lady concludes her speech with a big 'congratulations' to all of us, the room erupts into giant applause that is soon followed the ever growing murmur of people beginning begin to shuffle their way out the door. The veteran agents usher us all out of the side doors and into the courtyards where the social mingling to begin since the ceremony is officially over.

Can you believe it? It's over and everything is a done deal. I'm officially an agent for the United States Secret Service. Honestly, I'm probably going to say that sentence a million times in the next two hours, but hell, it's just so surreal. If I were actually standing here right now, and someone told me that this was actually happening to me right now, I wouldn't believe them. In fact, I would suggest that they go and see a shrink or something.

I squint against the sudden onslaught of sunlight as I make my way into the courtyard with my things clutched tightly in my hand. I won't be issued my service weapon until a little later on in the day but I don't mind waiting. I've carried a gun before.

I'm so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I don't repeatedly hear someone shouting my name. I blink myself back into reality before I spin on my heel and find myself face to face with a few of my colleagues from my old job.

"You too good to talk to us lowlife's now, Cabot?" Detective Elliot Stabler jokes as he slugs me in my shoulder. I match his smirk and slug him back which succeeds in earning a barely audible 'ouch'. People have always said that I pack a punch for a reason.

"I was too good for you back when I was at the precinct, Stabler." I retort smugly earning a satisfied 'oh' from the rest of my former colleagues. "I'm actually surprised that you guys actually made it."

"And miss you getting inducted into the secret service?" Olivia Benson questions with that signature smirk of hers. Olivia is probably the person on the squad that I could connect most with simply because we were both two women in a pond full of men. That and we both share the same interest in kicking ass. "We wouldn't miss it for the world. Not even chicken legs over here."

I smirk at the nickname that Olivia has oh so affectionately given to their ADA Abbie Carmichael. I've gotta admit, it's so much funny messing with Abbie and then some, but she is such an easy target. The thing about Abbie though, is that, if you dish it out, you sure as hell better be able to take it.

"I'm touched that you've graced me with your presence." I say smugly earning an eye roll from the attorney. I love pushing this woman's buttons. It was probably one of my favorite pass times back when I was at the precinct.

"You better be," Abbie states firmly but with a playful glare. "I don't just bend over backwards for anyone, you know."

"You had no problems bending over backwards for Liv that time after the Christmas party." Fin Tutuola says under his breath barely containing the chuckles for added reference. Pretty soon all of us are laughing our asses off with the exception of Abbie and Liv who are looking like scolded teenagers who have just been caught in the act.

I'm honestly going to miss times like this where we can all stand around and laugh. I mean, we were like a family at the precinct, even our hot tempered and sarcastic ADA. Not sure what I'm going to miss more, getting yelled at for not getting enough evidence, or waking Abbie up at four in the morning because we need a warrant. You know, no, I think it's going to be hiding her attaché with Liv whenever she comes to visit the squad room. Ah, good times will never change I guess.

We stand there and chat about everything and nothing for what seems like forever. But I guess forever can be enough because I soon realize that it's time for me to go, and them as well. In all honesty, I don't want to leave, but I knew the moment would come when I would half to.

I had promised myself that I wouldn't become an emotional wreck the day of the ceremony, but as I stand here being squeezed in death hugs by my former fellow officers, I actually let my emotions get the best of me a little. We were a family, and you can never break up family.

"You call us if you need anything, you hear, Blondie?" Elliot states preparing to playful punch me in the shoulder but slowly lowers his hand as I raise my fist ready to retaliate. Cabot: One. Panty waste Stabler: Zero.

As I say goodbye to basically pretty much all the family I have, I turn around and then find myself face to face with my mentor who is giving me a proud smile. "Hey you." I smile as she pulls me into a tight hug.

"Hey yourself." She responds as she pulls away looking at me proudly. "You look nervous."

Honestly, I probably wouldn't have made it through all of my training if it hadn't been for Kate Todd. She's a few years older than me, and she definitely knows what it is she's doing. She was one of my training agents for quite awhile when I first got here, and she's basically taken me under her wing ever since then.

"I think I would have to take an anxiety pill to even get to the nervous phase." I chuckle as we begin following the small crowd of newly recruited agents to one of the assigned buildings to receive our service weapons. "I kept having this recurring nightmare that I would get up there on the stage and drip and fall on the director or something. It's always awful."

"Ah, I remember the 'falling on stage' nightmare." She sighs in a reminiscing manner before chuckle. "Don't worry we all have it. The shock will wear off in a few hours."

"I sure hope you're right because I still feel like about a thousand butterflies have set up shop in my stomach. It's ridiculous. I think I'm more nervous about what office I'm going shipped off to."

"Actually, that's what I came to talk to you about." Kate begins as she stops and pulls me off to the side. "I've heard some talk and some rumors going around and your name has come up several times."

My eyes widen in fear and I pretty much feel my heart drop to my shoes. "W-what do you mean? Oh god, I haven't done anything. Am I in trouble?"

"No Alex, you're not in trouble. If there would be anyone to get in trouble it would most definitely not be you. You're like a saint. But as your mentor, I just wanted to be the first to tell you that you're going to be stationed at the White House."

My eyes widen once again to probably the twice the size they were before hand. I can't even begin to believe what she's just told me. Now this honestly has to be a dream, because this can't be happening. "T-the White House? Kate, that doesn't make sense. I heard it takes like at least three plus years to even be considered for a protective detail, let alone be placed directly in the same house as the president. You're at the White House and you're obviously more skilled than I am. I just…I don't understand."

Kate smiles again and shrugs her shoulders as we go and stand at the back of the line where I'll receive my new gun. "Well when you're good at what you do, people start to notice you, and when people at the top start to notice you, good things come from it." she says, pausing as she takes note of the look I'm giving here. "Don't give me that look Princess; this had nothing to do with me. Don't sell yourself short Alex, you're good at what you do and you show a lot of potential. Hell, the director knows your name personally. Not a lot of agents can say that. Like I said, you have shown a lot of potential and a lot of heart, and now it's going to pay off."

I swallow the thick lump brewing in the base of my throat. If I was a nervous wreck before, I can't even begin to explain how I'm feeling right now. In fact, I'm so in shock that I can't even speak anymore. Well I guess that saying has been proved to be true after all; miracles do happen.

* * *

_**Casey POV **_

Ugh, God, this is so fucking stupid. I stare out the window of this unnecessary limousine as I watch the city pretty much pass me by. What I would do and who I would kill to be in Boston right now. I would pretty much do anything to get out of being sent to where I'm going, but as usual, I am left with absolutely no chance at any sort of logical argument.

My dream? I have just successfully graduated college and am shining at the proud age of twenty four. Since I've graduated college, I would want nothing more than to be able to travel to Boston to study at Harvard to become a lawyer. And you know what's the fun thing about that? I've actually been accepted. I have been accepted to Harvard Law and I can be attending probably the most top notch law school in the country. But why am I so pissed off you ask?

Because I can't fucking go, that's why!

Why can't I go? Excellent question. I cannot go because my father feels like he basically runs my life. He thinks that he is pretty much the deciding party on literally anything and everything that I do.

There is something about my father that a lot of people can never fully understand. One; my father is the president. And no, I'm not saying he's the president of Harvard, or some big time electronic company or anything. No, my father, Darren William Novak III, is the fucking President of the United States. My mother, Carolyn Lillian Novak nee Flynn, just so happens to be the First Lady. What does all of that mean? Well, all of that makes me, Cassandra Michelle Novak, the first daughter. That is pretty much my life all of a sudden.

My father, when he was a senator, didn't want me going off to college at all. He felt the need to suggest that we hire the best private teachers than money could by. I of course refused the hell out of it because, who would want to pass up the chance to attend college? College is supposed to be one of the best parts of your life, and I was not going to miss it.

So after what seemed like a lifetime of arguing, my father finally allowed me to attend college like I wanted. It was a really great experience for me, I felt like I could actually live my life like I wanted to for once. But of course, my victory over my father has been short lived.

Just a few months ago, probably almost six months ago, my father has won the presidency which means that he, my mother and grandmother have taken up residence at the oh so glorious White House. Now what does that mean? It means that Daddy wants me to come live with them.

To be honest, I really can't deny Daddy because he's my father and I'll do anything that he tells me because he's given me everything and then some. But I was just really looking forward to this whole law school thing. I wanted to actually get something for myself. Make my own money and a career. Oh well, I guess that I can't have it all right?

I'm so focused on my own thoughts that I don't even notice that the limo has slowed down to a near stop. Moments later, we come to a complete halt, and I come to the realization that we are parked right in front of the legendary White House. Wow, it's even bigger up close.

The door on my left opens, and I'm soon engulfed in the light for the midday sun. A male hand is offered to me in assistance to getting out of the car. Well good, at least the agents here are chivalrous and I don't have to worry about anyone acting like an asshole as opposed to back in college.

I step out of the limo and gracefully drape my long, crimson red hair over my left shoulder. I flash the agent who helped me a smile and he nods his head sending me a silent 'you're welcome' in return to my gratitude.

"U-um, good afternoon Miss Novak."

A snap my head towards the speaking voice and notice a nervous looking blonde woman smiling at me. I push my sunglasses onto the top of my head and return her smile, restricting a laugh as I fully realize just how nervous she is. Huh, she must be new.

"Good afternoon," I respond as I begin walking towards the house with her keeping up my pace. Okay, and she is following me for what reason? "And who are you?"

We stop momentarily as she holds out her hand towards me, trying to initiate contact. "Special Agent Alex Cabot, ma'am. I-I was sent here to greet you and immediately take you to your father."

I glance down at her hand that is being offered to me, and casually dismiss it as I begin walking again. Nothing personal towards her or anything, but I really don't like shaking agent's hands. Don't ask me why, I just don't.

"I see," I say as I allow her to walk ahead a little bit and lead me to where ever my father is hiding. "How long have you been here? You don't seem as…confident as any of the agents that are entertaining themselves with transporting all of my luggage."

She blushes and ducks her head a little as she continues to lead me down a long corridor. "I've been here for maybe almost three months? I had just graduated when I was first placed here."

"I didn't ask you all that, but good to know." I murmur but loud enough to where I know she heard me. I'm not going to lie, in my bisexuality, I do find Alex to be very attractive, but there is just something about the way that she stares at me that's freaking me out. It's not like she gives me the creeps or anything. She's not creepy. She's just…_super_ awkward and I've got all of this for being in her presence for just over five minutes.

"So, I hear that you just graduated college. Did you enjoy it?" Alex asks as we come to a small halt to let a few agents pass us by. Oh god, why does she think it's okay to talk to me.

"It was a nice experience, yes. I'm not saying that I would love to go back though." I pause before we start walking once again and I snort quietly. "Not that that would be something you know anything about I'm sure."

She blushes again but refrains from looking at me this time. "I—I went to college. You kind of have to go to college to even be considered for this job." She murmurs before continuing on. "But I went to college and it was…nice."

I made a comment, I didn't ask a question and I would really rather not hear about her life's story right now. Honestly, why can't some people just take the hint and shut up?

Thankfully I get my wish because we walk all the rest of the way to my father's office in silence. Even though we're walking in silence I can still feel Alex's eyes on me probably every few minutes.

She knocks on a white wooden door and waits for a moment before she opens it and motions for me to follow. "Sir, your daughter's here." she says as her eyes land on me once again. Weird much?

I step into the office that I now recognize as the oval office, but all of those thoughts have dissipated as soon as my eyes land on my father. "Daddy!" I squeal in excitement as I fling myself at him and he welcomes me with open arms.

"Hello sweetheart." He replies affectionately as he places a kiss to my forehead. "Did you have a safe trip?"

"It was good Daddy, because everyone loves plane rides right?" I giggle sarcastically as he leads me over to one of the couches in his office. Thankfully Alex has excused her self from the room to let us have our private family moment. I don't think I could take another moment of her staring at me like that.

My father chuckles as he places a stray hair behind my ear. "I know that it was such short notice, but I really did want you to come and stay here Casey. I feel like it would be best for our family, and your role as the first daughter."

I smile and refrain from rolling my eyes. And what role is that supposed to be? Because I don't want anything that's going to be strenuous. If I'm going to be here as the first daughter, I'm going to act like the first daughter, which means I'm going to act how I want to. I'm not a teenager; I'm a grown woman, and I'm going to act as such.

"So what do you think of Alex sweetheart?" Daddy asks me after I have just finished catching him up on how college was for me.

I frown and shake my head as I really don't understand what it is that he's asking me. "What do you mean, what do I think of her? I mean, I think she's really weird and super awkward, but I don't see why any of that would matter."

"It matters because she's your new personal protective detail."

My face falls upon hearing this and I feel like my father just told me that I was adopted or something. "What?" I say but feel like I need to repeat myself for added firmness. "What do you mean she's my 'personal protective detail'!? What's that, big fancy president talk for bodyguard?! Why not have one of the men do it?"

Daddy sighs quietly and places his hands on my shoulders to calm me down. I don't know why this works for him, but it just does. "Casey, please. I wasn't comfortable with having a man do this. I can have them protect me, but not you. I feel like you will be a lot more comfortable with Alex. She's good at what she does Casey, don't doubt that."

"Good at what she does?! She's so skinny I feel like I could take her! Hell, if anyone ever wanted to get to me, all they'd have to do is push her down! This is bullshit!"

"Cassandra Novak, do not raise your voice at me and do not speak to me with such profane language."

I huff and fold my arms before I calm down a little. "I'm sorry Daddy. I just…can't you get anyone else to do it?"

He wraps his arms around me before kissing my head once again. "I trust Alex sweetheart, and I trust that she'll take good care of you. One of my best agents wrote her a really good letter or recommendation to me personally. I trust her, and I think in time, you will to. Now go, get situated in your bedroom so you can meet Mother and your mother in the dining room for a late lunch. I had the chefs prepare your favorite."

I hug my father one last time before I make my move to leave his office. Well great, at least after this shit filled day I get my favorite food out of all of this. As soon as I step out of the office, Alex opens her mouth to speak to me, but I hold up my hand, promptly cutting her office.

"Don't. Do not speak to me right now. Just take me to my bedroom." I say as I begin walking ahead of her, not waiting for any kind of response. Great, she looks at me like a lost puppy and now she's going to be following me around like a lost puppy.

Damn, this sucks!

**Okay, I'm guilty. I've kinda stolen Kate Todd again for my own selfish desires (oh my god, that sounded kinky didn't it?) but that's basically because I was really to lazy to come up with an original character. Besides, didn't Kate used to be secret service anyway? So see? It all works out lovely! **

**Yes, I did make Casey high maintenance, but she's in her twenties and she's the presidential daughter. She's GOING to be high maintenance people. Anyhow, leave your feedbacks! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay guys, you really wanted me to update to post again on this story because you guys immediately liked it so much so I did to the best of my abilities. Honestly, I don't know if I'm going to be able to update Fixing What's Broken, at all because I am running a near 100 degree fever and staying awake is becoming a pain. **

**Nevertheless, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter to my new story. **

_**Alex POV **_

Okay, when I was first assigned her and still being considered a 'rookie' I didn't think that I would be given anything of any kind of importance to do. I thought I would just be sent here to walk around, scope out the area like a watchdog or something. I didn't even have the slightest inkling that I would actually be assigned to do something. Not that I'm complaining or anything, because honestly, I'm not. This is probably a once in a life time opportunity. Who all can say that they were personally assigned by the president himself to be the personal bodyguard for his daughter?

It's not that I don't think I can do the job or anything. That's not the case. It's just…I kind of have this ridiculous crush on the president's daughter. It's actually pretty stupid when you really think about it. I mean, I've always thought she was beautiful whenever I would see her on television with her dad at one of his campaign rallies, or on a magazine, or anything like that. I read a sit down question and answer interview that she did with a news reporter and she seems like a very amazing person. Did I mention that she's beautiful?

I really don't want to sound creepy, and I probably do sound a little creepy but I can't help it. So knowing all of this about my fantasy crush on the first daughter, you can imagine how much of a fool I made of my self when I first saw her in person. I can tell that she already hates me and thinks I'm a total creep for ogling at her like I was. I felt like such a loser standing right next to her.

Casey Novak is probably everything that I'm not. She's intelligent, she comes from money, she's beautifully stunning, and just her presence alone sends a billion butterflies fluttering around my insides. Oh yes, I definitely have a crush on her, but she's way out of my league anyway. I mean, come on, what would the presidential daughter want with some nobody cop from New York?

It'd be completely inappropriate anyway seeing as I'm her bodyguard. I'm here to do a job, and I can't let any kind of emotion get in the way out that. But even if I wasn't her bodyguard, I wouldn't have any kind of chance with her. She dates billionaires' sons, super models, and everything else that I'm not; and all of this just as a famous senator's daughter! Imagine the kind of dates she's going to get now as the presidential daughter. I just know that I won't ever be one of them.

I am brought from my daydreams by someone repeatedly clapping their hands in front of my face. It startles me and a flinch a little but I can't hide the blush that makes it's way up my neck when I see none other than Casey Novak her self staring incredulously back at me. Did I mention that I don't really think she likes me?

"My father isn't paying you to stare off into space." She scoffs, obviously annoyed with my absentmindedness for the time being. "If you were listening, you would have known that I said that I'm ready to leave."

I sigh quietly as I hang I head and open the back passenger door of the unmarked SUV for her. "Right, I'm sorry." I murmur as I wait for her to settle in the backseat before I close the door. I take several much needed breaths as I walk around the vehicle and climb into the driver's seat. Being her bodyguard means that I have to transport/accompany her to pretty much anywhere that she wishes to go when she isn't staying in the house with her family. So that pretty much means that I'm going to be spending the day tailing behind her while she shops, socializes, and anything else that she's planning to do with her friends that she's meeting. Fun, fun, fun right?

"You don't seriously have to follow me around all day while I'm hanging out with my friends do you?" she asks me as I begin driving us to her desired destination. "I mean, I already think you're weird, but my friends are going to think it's really weird when they see you stalking us all day."

"I'm not stalking you, I'm just doing my job." I say as I drum my fingers on the steering wheel when we come to a stoplight. "I won't be of any inconvenience to you or your friends. You could always just tell Serena and Kim that I'm your sister or something to make things less weird."

Casey falls silent of a moment and I look into the rearview mirror to find her beautiful emerald green eyes eyeing me with scorn and suspicion. "How do you know their names? Are you seriously stalking my friends?"

"No Ma'am, but I did run background checks on who you were meeting. Just to make sure that you're safe."

"They're my friends! I know them, of course I know I'm going to be safe around them!"

"I was doing my job in making sure that you're safe. It helps my own piece of mind if I know that they're clean."

Casey scoffs and folds her arms before she turns her head to look out the window in the backseat. "Well don't ever do anything like that again."

I glance at her in the mirror briefly once again before I turn my eyes back to the road. "Yes Ma'am…I'm sorry."

"And stop calling me 'Ma'am' you make me sound old like my grandmother or something."

"Right, Miss Novak…I apologize." I respond, still going with a formal title as I was instructed to do so unless she informs me otherwise.

"Seriously? Now you make me sound like my mother." She snorts mirthlessly with her gaze still locked on the city out side her window.

"Well what do you prefer that I call you?"

"My name is Casey, so I would assume that you're allowed to call me that. All of the formalities are unnecessary make me feel older than I actually am."

I nod my head slowly and whisper her name quietly to myself. "Casey…" I say quietly before I speak up again. "Casey it is then." God, I love the way her name sounds on my lips.

"So uh, do you like shopping?" I ask trying to make some sort of conversation between the two of us. I don't want things to be awkward all the time so I feel like if we can build some sort of civil boundaries, things will run themselves a whole lot smoother.

"Duh, of course I like shopping." She sneers as if I had just asked her if her hair was red. "I wouldn't be going shopping if I didn't like it. Do they teach you to think before asking stupid questions at secret agent boot camp?"

I find my self blushing again at her question. I'm not usually a blusher, but then again, I'm not usually in the presence of my crush for this long. I'm not going to lie, I did have a tiny thing for Abbie back in New York, but it never advanced past that 'a thing'. Gee, talk about another woman who was out of my league. Why do I do that? Why do I have crushes on women who are way too good for me?

"Hey Cabot, I asked you a question." Casey states flatly, leaning forward to poke me in my shoulder. "You can't do that you know. You can't space out like a moron while you're driving. My father would have your job if you hit something while I was in the car."

"I'm sorry…again." I mutter realizing that I've probably apologized to her for something stupid I've done for probably over a million times now since I've been her bodyguard. Way to mess up a good opportunity Alex. "What did you ask me?"

"I asked you if you were always this boring. You like a classic stick in the mud." She says in an intention to humor herself and not me.

I sit on the question for a moment as I ponder how to answer it. I didn't realize that I was boring. I never really considered my self to be a very boring person, and because I've never figured that I was a boring person, I don't know how to fix it.

"U-uh, well I mean…I don't really consider my self to be boring." I state as I pull the SUV into an open parking space. I undo my seatbelt and turn around in my seat to where I'm facing her so we can talk better. "What do you suggest I do about that?"

Casey rolls her eyes at me and shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. It's not really my problem." She replies before we fall into a slightly awkward silence. She meets me gaze yet again and points to her side of the car. "Aren't you going to come get my door?" she says in a 'duh' manner.

I mentally kick myself in the head for that one and quickly scramble out of the driver's side door. I make my way around towards her door and open it for her to exit the vehicle. I briefly consider offering her my hand for assistance, but judging by how she wouldn't even shake my hand when we first me, I think that the formal gracious gesture would have been pointless. Pretty much like everything else I'd be able to do for her. Maybe I'm not cut out for this job after all.

* * *

_**Casey POV **_

"Honestly, I can't even understand why I need her to follow me around." I say irritably as my two best friends and I travel to yet another clothing store. As we enter, we make a beeline for the quote unquote most expensive side of the store, which means anything that says 'clearance' on it is totally out of the question.

"I mean look at her," I say pausing my browsing so my friends and I can glance at Alex who is staring back at us. "Look at her. She looks at me like she's this lost puppy dog or something."

Serena makes a quiet 'aw' sound as she looks away from my bodyguard and back at me. "But Casey, she looks so cute! Is she single?"

"And the huntress is on the prowl." Kim snorts as she holds out her arms again so I can toss yet another shirt on my 'oh this is so cute, I'm buying this pile'.

Then Serena actually has the good graces to look even mildly offended. "Hey! I'm not 'hunting' as you so eloquently put it. I was just thinking she was cute and I just so happened to wonder if she was single." She defends her self before turning back to me. "So how old is she?"

I playfully roll my eyes at my best friend and toss another item to my pile. "I think she's twenty six, but I forbid you from trying to hook my bodyguard. Plus she's so socially awkward I don't think she dates or anything. I haven't really asked, and I'd rather not let her believe that we are 'friends' or whatever."

"You don't like her?" Kim asks from behind my pile of clothes as we make our way across the store towards my favorite section; the shoe section.

My face contorts into concentration for a moment as I try to come up with a responsible answer. "I'm not saying I don't like her. I'm just saying I don't want her following me around at almost every hour of everyday. The only privacy I get away from her is the 8 hours I sleep at night, and whenever I have to go to the restroom in a public place, but even more so, I just know she's going to be waiting outside the door as soon as I open it. I mean, what am I supposed to say when I go out on dates? 'Oh hey, meet my personal stalker Alex.' Yeah, because that's a real turn on for a date."

My friends laugh at my little spiel from a moment ago and out of the corner of my eye, I swear that I can see said stalker hang her head. Okay, so what if she heard me, is that my problem? Am I really supposed to care about her feelings? Part of this agreement was not for the two of us to become friends. Why would I want to be friends with someone who stalks me all day? Besides, I don't make friends with just anybody.

We finish our shopping and by the end of it, there are several bags, most of which are mind. Okay, so I gotta admit, I do love shopping and when I do shop I tend to go a little overboard, but I think Daddy knows that seeing as the amount of money he puts on my credit card is more than enough to cover it.

"Casey, you always buy the whole store whenever we go shopping with you." Serena giggles as she shifts her own shopping bags in her hands.

I roll my eyes at her exaggeration of my shopping tendencies. "I do NOT always buy the whole store. I just buy close to it. Hey, watch this." I stop and turn around to where Alex is closely tailing behind us. I nod my head and she quickly approaches me where I hold out all of my shopping bags. "Carry these."

She frowns a little and looks down at the shopping bags before she looks back up at me with that same cute little confused expression. Wait…_cute_? Jesus, where did that come from?

"Carry…those? All of those?" she repeats as she stares at my never ending number of shopping items. "Casey, I don't think that…I'm assigned to protect you, not to be your personal assistant."

"You're also assigned to do as I tell you. My Daddy says so. And right now, you're not doing what I told you to." I sneer holding out my arms once again. "Carry these."

Alex sighs quietly but says nothing else as she takes all of my shopping bags from my arms. I hold up a finger signaling for her to wait, before I return to my friends who are also carrying some of my purchases. I take those from them and hand those to Alex as well. I stack a few shoe boxes in her arms and make sure they're secure before I head back up to walk with my friends.

"Casey, she's your bodyguard, not your pack mule." Serena says barely able to contain her giggles.

"Yeah, but she's supposed to do what I tell her to, and I told her to carry my things." I respond with a shrug as I take a quick glance behind me to see Alex keeping up with us despite all of my things she's carrying. "See? She's fine. Now come on, let's get something to eat."

As we find a nice comfortable restaurant to sit down at, we talk about anything and everything. Mostly about how college was and what we plan to do with our futures. I wanted to be a lawyer and I still kind of do, but right now, I don't mind being the presidential daughter.

We get deeper into our conversations and that's when I notice a young man watching me from across the restaurant. I love it when they ogle at me like this. As we make eye contact, his shy smile widens into a broad grin, and I find myself returning his smile.

Kim catches my gazing and she immediately clicks her tongue at my behavior. Leave it to her to ruin a moment that I had going. "Case, honestly? Everywhere you go there are people flirting with you, men and women alike, and honestly half the time you flirt back."

"So?" I shrug as if it's the most obvious this thing in the world that I don't care. And I don't. "I can't help it that they stare, and I'm not going to let their poor efforts go to waste."

"What about Robbie?" Serena quips up curiously which causes me to groan drastically.

I roll my eyes at the mention of my EX boyfriend at the time, Robert. Although for some odd reason, even in his early twenties, he still thinks that it's okay to consider himself 'Robbie'. If you ask me, I think it's really immature and it makes him seem like he's twelve. Then again, he tends to act like he's twelve. I think it's even more immature to accept the fact that I've broken up with him.

"Don't even mention him right now." I say with a shake of my head. "He doesn't count."

"Aw, I think he's cute," Serena coos earning a mirthless snort from both Kim and Me. "Besides, he's such a sweetheart! He followed you here from college so he could be with you. It's classic Romeo and Juliet!"

"If you think he's so cute then you date him." I say smugly when I know full well that Serena is a lesbian. She's been in to chicks for as long as I can remember.

"Casey is right. He shouldn't count. I personally think that he's a total loser." Kim adds in as she takes a chip from the bowl in the center of our table. "How come you haven't ended it yet?"

I snort and shake my head before sighing dramatically. "Because I _have_ ended it, and he's the loser who thinks that we're still together. I clearly said to his face 'Robbie it is over' and he thought I was just playing a joke. It's not my fault he felt the need to follow me where. You think that he'd take the hint that I don't want to be with him anymore. I mean god, I made out with his sister when we were in college! Now he's following me because he thinks that it was just an accident on his sister's part. I was the one that came on to her! Robbie is so clueless sometimes, and he acts like a fucking little kid. "You're right when you're saying he's a total loser. But I'm not worried about him. I have a date tonight anyway."

"Oh my god, you've only been here for a couple months and you're already dating? Damn you move fast. So who is it? Please tell me it's not some creep who stares at from you across restaurants." Serena says nodding towards the guy who was ogling at me a few minutes prior.

"No, no," I say shaking my head. "Any man or woman who can't step up and talk to me, definitely doesn't deserve a date with me. Anyway, you guys know who Avery Van Zandt is right?"

It's almost as if time freezes for both of my friends and they stare at me wide eyed with their mouths hanging open. Thank god neither of them are eating or have anything in their mouths because that would be super gross. For a moment there I think they've forgotten where they are.

"Uh, guys, hello?" I speak, waving my hand in front of both of their faces to bring them back to the reality of the world.

Kim is the first to recover and she blinks several times before opening her mouth to actually speak this time. "Sorry, but did you say Avery Van Zandt? _**The**_ Avery Van Zandt who is not only an amazing supermodel but she's starring in that new upcoming movie that comes out in three months?"

"That's the only Avery Van Zandt I know." I respond with a shrug before taking a sip of my untouched soda. "Why, you don't like her or something?"

"Don't like her!?" Serena exclaims, startling me and Kim both. "Oh my god, I'm a HUGE fan! She's already _so_ successful as a model AND an actress and she's only twenty four! How long were you going to hold out on us that you were dating a superstar?!"

"Whoa, hold on there tiger. We aren't 'dating'. We haven't even gone on one date yet. It's not even that big a deal." And it's really not. I met Avery at a birthday party I attended probably a month ago, and we hit it off there. "I was at a party for a mutual friend that we apparently share and we just kinda hit it off. She came up to me, I recognized her, and she recognized me so we just kinda started talking. She kept my number and called, asking me if I wanted to go to dinner with her. I said yes and here we are; I have a date with Avery Van Zandt."

Once again my friends are rendered completely speechless. I think it's hilarious that quite suddenly, Robbie doesn't mean a thing to the conversation anymore. I sense something in their silence and I know what's coming next.

"Oh my god, can we meet here?"

"Can we have her autograph?"

"Can we get a picture?"

"What was it like for her to act in the movie?"

"Can she get us in to the red carpet premier?"

"What's she like as a person?"

"Is she as pretty up close as she is in the magazines?"

"Didn't she just do a fashion show in Milan? What was that like?"

The rattling is endless and to be honest, it's giving me a headache, and fast. "GUYS! Calm down!" I exclaim, hopefully putting an end to their gushing over my supermodel date. "I haven't even gone out with her. And no, I'm not going to pester her like a fan who is just looking for her signed paraphernalia. I have a reputation to uphold. I'll tell you about my date with her after it. How about that?"

Thankfully that quiets them down and I am able to relax. Honestly, this will probably be the first and the last time that I tell my friends that I have a date with someone important to the entertainment/media industry.

I say goodbye to Serena and Kim and I reluctantly allow myself to fall back into Alex's presence. Thankfully she's kept up with all of my shopping items, because I'm really not in the mood to fuss at her if she lost anything.

"Did you enjoy lunch with your friends?" she asks as we make our way back to the car and she shoves all of my bags into the backseat, letting out a breath of relief when she can finally sit everything down.

I nod my head and examine my freshly manicured hand. "I did. It would have been nice to enjoy it alone though, with out someone watching me eat." I say in reference to the fact that I am well aware that she was indeed watching me the whole time.

That adorable blush slowly makes its way across her face and she angles her gaze towards the ground, refusing to make eye contact with me. "I-I'm sorry, I'm just doing my job…I don't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Too late," I mumble as I fish in my purse to pull out my sunglasses. "Well, I guess I should inform you that I am going on a date tonight at seven thirty, so I expect to get there on time."

Alex's head snaps up from the ground and she's looked at me in shock as if I had just slapped her mother or something. "You…you have a date…?" she asks, almost as if she's trying to force herself to believe the words.

I pause in putting on my sunglasses and nod my head slowly as if I am preparing to speak to a child. "Yes Alex, I have a date. You know, that thing you go on with someone with whom you are interested in, in more than a platonic way? You have been on a date haven't you?"

"Y-Yeah, I've been on a date…it's just been awhile and I…don't really date anymore." she murmurs almost sadly. "Who is your date with?"

"No background checks, PLEASE."

"I-I'm not! I was just curious."

I sigh heavily and fold my arms irritably. "Her name is Avery Van Zandt, and before you turn into the babbling idiot my friends did, yes I'm going out with supermodel/movie start Avery Van Zandt. Deal with it. I just know that you better not ruin my date, understand?"

"Yes Ma'am, ah, Casey sorry…Yes, I understand." She murmurs in that same sad tone as she opens the passenger door for me. I climb into the SUV next to my shopping bags and get myself situated before buckling my seat belt.

Honestly for the life of me, I can't understand why Alex would look at me like that when I told her I have a date tonight. I mean, she honestly looks like I had just football kicked her brand new puppy into a rain gutter.

Wonder what her problem is…

**Hmm wonder what Alex's problem is? And yes, I have succeeded in my plan to reveal the Casey in this story. She is a brat. I total spoiled sassy brat. And I am loving every minute of it. To go along with her spoiled brat personality, I decided to make Kim and Serena her best friends simply because I CANNOT, not even picture Olivia Benson and Abbie Carmichael going "omg shoes! Omg clothes! Omg look at this! omg look at that! omg there is a sale!" I just can't do it, lol. Anyhow, hope you enjoyed it! Leave your feedbacks! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I am still sick, and most definitely not supposed to be updating, but I was dying without writing and the warden has gone to bed and I decided to sneak in this chapter. Hopefully she won't know so shhhhh don't tell her. **

**This chapter is written in only Casey's POV because it's so long, but happy readings ;) **

_**Casey POV **_

I step out of my bedroom ready for my date, checking my handheld mirror one last time to make sure that I look exceptionally perfect for this evening. As I gently comb my fingers through my hair to make sure it has just the right amount of volume when my mother steps up to me and gives a double take at my appearance.

"You're all dressed up." she states as she gives me a once over and takes note of my form fitting black sleeveless dress that stops just above my knees with my favorite black Louboutins and of course all of my desired jewelry accessories. I dress to kill, don't you forget it. "Are you heading out?"

"Yep, I have a date." I say nonchalantly, still continuing to gaze at myself in my mirror.

"Did you tell your father?" Mom asks curiously, still trying to gain my full attention.

I close my mirror and drop it in my purse before I turn to her and shrug absentmindedly. "He was busy. It's not that big a deal Mom. I'm twenty four, not sixteen. I'm allowed to go out without consulting either of you."

"You might be twenty four but you're still living with us, and you are still our daughter Casey. We would like to know where you are." Mom says in that 'no bullshit' tone of hers.

I can't help but roll my eyes and place one hand on my hip. "Mom, seriously. Stop treating me like I'm a kid. Plus you and Dad have already made sure that I'm going to be watched at all times, so it's not like I'm going to be running around by myself. Stop treating me like I'm a kid!"

As I storm away from my mother I hear her sigh drastically and then soon the tell tale click of her heels in trying to keep up with me. "Don't you walk away from Me Cassandra, and do NOT raise your voice at me. As I said before, you are still my daughter whether you are four, twenty four, forty four, or a hundred and four, and I would greatly appreciate it if you could respect me and inform either me, your grandmother, OR your father on when you are going out and where. Who are you going on a date with? Have I met them?"

I stop walking and turn towards my mother with an intense glare in my eyes. "Mom, seriously!? You're treating me like a child! You don't need to know who I'm going out with! Like I said before, I have a bodyguard so I'm not going to get robbed or molested or anything bad like that!"

"Casey, for once in your life can you be anything BUT difficult with me?"

"I'm not being difficult Mom! You are the one who is standing here making things difficult! I'm going on a date with some you do not know, but you do not NEED to know who I'm going out with. It's not your business and it's not Dad's business. Deal with it. I need to go, because I'm already going to be late standing here talking to you. Don't expect me back at any particular time because I don't know when I'll be back. Like I said before; deal with it."

And with that, I leave my mother standing there staring after me as Alex follows close behind me. Honestly, I love my mother to death, but sometimes she needs to realize that I'm a grown woman and not a child anymore, and she needs to stop treating my as such.

I step out onto the drive way and fold my arms as I wait for Alex to open the door to the limousine for me before I climb inside and she slides in behind me. I cross my arms tightly once again and we wait for the driver to get situated before he pulls out of the driveway behind one of the two unmarked SUVs that are escorting us.

"You, ah, shouldn't talk to your mother like that." Alex says awkwardly after a moment of silence. "She only questions you because she cares."

"What do you know about _my_ mother? She's my mother, not yours." I snap as I look at her out of the corner of my eye. "What about your mother? Doesn't she freak out that you carry a gun and put your life on the line for someone else?"

Alex ducks her head and stares at her hands while she is silent for the longest of times. I can see her breathing starting to get wavered and for a brief moment it looks like she's about to cry for some strange reason. Was it something I said?

"Whoa, are you okay?" I asked worrying that I've hit some kind of nerve. Alex might not be my most favorite person in the world, but I really don't want to intentionally or accidentally hurt her feelings over something personal.

After a little while she recovers and shakily nods her head before turning to me and flashing a small smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Ah, my mother doesn't really…she's not a real _involved _factor in my life."

I nod my head and wait a moment before I turn to her again. "What about your dad?"

"Him too." She answers quickly before ducking her head again. "Can we maybe…not talk about my family?"

Wow, okay, really? I make an effort to reach out to her and she totally shuts down like that? Okay, fine, whatever. I guess I'll just figure out something else to talk about. Wait…why do I suddenly want to talk to her? Oh hell, I don't know. I guess it's just that I'm so used to getting what I want I don't like it when someone denies me that.

"So um…Avery Van Zandt is that model that's going to be in that new about the girl who grew up as a child prodigy and now works for this secret agency where she goes undercover as a high school student?"

"Yup, that's Avery." I say with a head nod before eyeing Alex curiously. "Oh my god, you're not like this huge fan that's going to be asking for her autograph all night are you?"

Alex makes a face and shakes her head before she nervously begins fiddling with her hands. Honestly, why is she always so nervous like this? She can't honestly be nervous like this ALL the time. But seriously, what's her problem?

"No, I actually don't really know who she is. I only saw her in the movie advertisement on a magazine when I was in line at the grocery store. I don't really keep up with movies and stuff like that. I never have time to go to one anyway, so why bother? I spend most of my time reading, when I can."

This time I'm the one who makes a face. Reading? She can't be serious. I'm not saying that I don't like to read but I don't love it and I most definitely wouldn't make a hobby out of it. Reading just sounds so boring. But then again, Alex is boring so I shouldn't really be that surprised.

When we pull up to the restaurant Alex slides out of the limo before me and actually offers me her hand in assistance this time. I don't know why but this time I decide to humor her, so I take her hand and gracefully step out of the car. For a brief moment our eyes meet but she then flinches away from me and releases my hand before closing the door behind us.

I stride into the restaurant with my bodyguard tailing at a close distance behind me as I approach the hostess who seems to be occupied with her cell phone on her stand. Great, because I have to get the girl who isn't paying attention.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Avery Van Zandt." I say with as much politeness as I can muster. Daddy has been telling me that as the first daughter I have an image to uphold and I can't go around shouting at slow waitresses…for unnecessary reasons. Now if I need to…well then that's a different story.

"Pfft, isn't everybody." The girl responds flatly with out looking up from her cell phone. "Listen, you and everyone else who wants to see her is just going to have to butt out, okay?"

I raise an eyebrow and realize that this girl has absolutely no idea who she's speaking to. Oh yeah, let's see if she has a job after my dinner tonight. "Excuse me?"

She sighs heavily but finally tears her eyes away from her stupid phone to look up at me. "Listen. Miss Van Zandt has requested a private dinner for two and she has requested not to be bothered by pestering fans so if you could just step off that would be great." Unfortunately for her, her mouth is about fifty yards ahead of her brain and everything has already been said once she finally recognizes me. "O-Oh my god, I am so sorry."

"Mhm, you were saying?" I sneer folding my arms. This girl has wasted at least four minutes of my good time. Well that's four minutes of my life that I'm never going to get back thanks to this loser.

She swallows thickly as she picks up a single menu and turns around to begin leading me to my table all the while uttering a stream of apologies. I turn back to Alex who seems to be trying and failing miserably to hide her smirk. I can tell that she just enjoyed that little exchange, but who wouldn't.

The crappy hostess leads me through the restaurant much to my slight discomfort because immediately people start ogling at me again and some even have the nerve to pull out their phones and snap a picture or two….or ten. I don't mind people staring at me, but still, it can get to be a minor hassle when I'm just trying to shop or eat or something.

I am lead to one of the private rooms in the restaurant where a large burly man dressed in black with a face made of stone is waiting outside the door. Of course, as an actress/model, Avery's bodyguard gets to wait outside, but mine has to be inside with me watching everything I do.

As soon as I step into the room I am greeted by probably one of the most beautiful women on this planet. Everything is gorgeous about Avery Van Zandt. She's tall, thin, has perfectly straight platinum blonde hair, and a butt that is so firm you could…well…she's hot, let's just leave it at that.

"Casey!" Avery squeals happily as she envelopes me into a hug and kisses my cheek. She's a very touchy person but it's not like I'm complaining. "I'm so glad you could make it!"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." I reply smoothly as I return her hug. I clear my throat awkwardly and step to the side while holding my hand behind me. "Ah, Avery, this is Alex, my body guard." Okay, seriously, what is Alex's problem. A minute ago she was smiling and now she looks like she wants to vomit. I can't deal with her mood swings tonight. I refuse to.

"Charmed." Avery purrs politely as she offers Alex her hand dismissively. "She can join Kenneth outside if she would like."

As we take our seats at our table I snort humorlessly. "Unfortunately Avery, she's going to be joining us…in the corner." I emphasize with a firm glare towards Alex, nodding my head towards the farthest corner of the room for her to stand in. If she's going to be here, she's going to stand as far away from us as possible.

Avery giggles and takes a small, dainty sip from her glass of water. "Oh I see. Presidential daughter gets presidential treatment. No matter, I'm sure that we'll have a fabulous evening anyway."

And we do. For the most part. We chat about everything that's going on in our lives. I tell her what it's like being the first daughter and she tells me what its like to be a supermodel and an actresses. Hell, if I wasn't the president's daughter I would think about pursuing a totally different career.

About an hour into our date and we're about halfway through our meals, I've noticed that Avery has been shifting uncomfortably in her chair for probably the better part of that hour.

"Avery, is there something wrong?" I ask worriedly, hoping that it's not anything that I've done.

She shakes her head nervously and flits her eyes to the corner of the rooming before turning back to me. "Ah, nothings wrong per say…it's just…" she swallows thickly and looks back at me. "Your bodyguard keeps sending me death glares." She says quietly before looking down at the table.

I groan and rest my head in my hands trying to hide my utter embarrassment. I knew it would be a bad idea to bring Alex here, and why I decided to completely ignore my conscience, is beyond me. Date successfully ruined.

* * *

I burst out of my bedroom in my nightgown the next morning unable to contain my anger any longer. I am upset…no…I am more than upset. Words can't even begin to describe how upset I am. I huff in anger and storm up to one of the agents I recognize in order to find who I'm looking for.

"Kate, where's Alex." I ask her irritably, my face letting on the fact that I am in really no mood for bullshit right now.

"Ah, I think she's in the workout room." Kate responds thinking to herself before nodding in confirmation. "Yeah, she's in the workout room. Why, what's up hotshot?"

I fold my arms tightly and look off into nothing in particular. "Nothing, I just need to have…a word with Alex." I grumble before I storm off again leaving Kate staring after me. I know she might ask questions later but we'll deal with that when we come to it.

I mutter to myself the whole way to the workout room and prepare myself for just how I'm going to scream at Alex. I can't believe she acted the way she did last night, and in front of Avery of all people! God, I swear I'm going to rip her head off.

Storming into the workout room, I glance around briefly before I spot her doing bench presses across the room. Oh my god, for some reason, for some ridiculous unknown reason I feel like all of the air has been sucked out of the room.

There she is in a tight tank top lifting that damn wait. I can see her muscles flexing perfectly with every movement and I can see beads of traveling down the definition of said bicep muscles. After a moment of staring I shake my head and clear my throat. "Alex, I need to speak with you." I squeak, realizing that my voice has raised about three ridiculous octaves.

She sits up from the bench and uses the bottom of her shirt to wipe the sweat from her face. Oh good god, look at her abs, I bet you could bounce a quarter off those. Why am I thinking like this? This is so fucking stupid. What did I come here to do again? And why is she looking at me like that? Wait, she's talking. Oh my god.

"Casey? Are you alright?" I soon realize that she's standing in front of me looking at me with general concern. "Is something wrong?"

I blink several times and open my mouths trying to tear my eyes away from her glistening defined muscles. How is it she's so thin and slender but when she doesn't have like a real shirt on I can nearly make out every definition that I just want to run my fingers over and-WHOA! Wait a sec! Let's not get carried away.

"You're damn right something is wrong." I say once I finally get my voice back. "Y-you ruined my date with Avery last night! Alex, you can't glare at anyone and everyone who comes within five feet of me!"

Can you believe what happens next? She actually blushes. That's right; she actually has the nerve and the good graces to blush. That's not even fair! I've already been thrown for a loop at seeing her all sweaty like this.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was staring…" she murmurs averting her eyes to the floor. "But in my defense, I really was only doing my job, and you do tend to overreact at things."

"OVERREACT?!" I screech causing her to wince a little bit. "I do NOT overreact! And YOU made my supermodel date uncomfortable! How am I supposed to just be 'okay' with that? Have you and idea of what you've done now?! I'll be lucky if she even calls me again, let alone take me as her date to her red carpet premier like she said she would!"

Alex closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before she opens them again and purses her lips. "You do overreact." She says flatly, her tone firm yet calm. How does she do that?! How is she so calm and down to earth like this?! Does she ever get angry about anything?! "You overact when you don't get what you want, and frankly, you're selfish."

"Selfish?! Okay I don't know who you think you are, but I am NOT selfish!"

"Yes you are. When you went shopping with your friends yesterday you spent over a thousand dollars on clothes and over two thousand on shoes. I've seen your closet when I was running a mandatory walkthrough, and at least half of your clothes still have the tags on them because you've never even worn them. You buy really expensive clothes and shoes and don't even bother to wear them. You do that, and then there are children in countries like Swaziland who don't even HAVE shoes or clean clothes everyday. You're selfish and you're spoiled rotten. Excuse my langue but frankly Casey, you're a brat too. Everything has always been handed down to you and you've never had to lift a finger. You need to realize that you can't just whine to get what you want."

I cannot believe what I'm hearing. How dare she?! How dare she say all of this TO ME?! Does she not understand that I can have her fired and then some!? Hell, I can probably have her kicked out of this country.

I'm desperate to see her come unglued, and I am desperate to see how she is when she's angry. Just the thought of her calm demeanor pisses me off, and I, in all of my ruthlessness am determined to break all of that down.

In a matter if seconds, my mind loses all of rationality, and I probably do one of the most stupid things I've ever done in my entire life, but I am so blinded by rage I have no time to think about what I'm doing.

I throw everything out the window before I quickly storm forward and kiss her. Hard. I crash my lips against hers so hard that I physically feel her equilibrium shift and she briefly stumbles back from lost of balance. I kiss her harder and drag my teeth across her bottom lip before I start to pull away.

Once I pull away completely, she's looking back at me, but not with the look that I had expected. Her eyes are widened in what looks like confusion, and when I look closer, I swear that I see a small hint of sadness. What the fuck is she sad about?! How did that NOT piss her off?!

Alex backs away from me and shakes her head before she pushes past me to make a hasty departure from the workout room with out even another word, or even another glance back at me.

Damn it! How is she not angry!? Why didn't she scream at me! Raise her voice, get mad, something?! Anything like that! Instead she just looked at me like SHE was the kicked puppy in the rain gutter this time. That's it, I'm drawing my conclusion; she has to be a robot.

**As I said, I wasn't supposed to be updating but I just HAD to. And did you guys know my sister posted a story of her own!? I DIDN'T. I've been trying to get her to for MONTHS upon MONTHS upon MONTHS. I didn't even know she was gonna, and I'm anxious to see what she's gonna do with it. If you haven't read it yet it's called 'The Morning After'. I think it'll be hilarious. **

**Fun fact from Me: I have a cat, actually I have two cats, but one of said cats name is Angie. And Angie has decided that it is totally okay to come into my room at two in the morning, climb my shoulder, and sit on my head as I am trying to post this…I hate this cat…. **

**Yeah, that was kinda random…anyway, leave your feedback! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Bargain chapter! I'm being allowed to post this because I was a good girl today and didn't run from the thermometer like usual, lol. Lucky me! **

**Tripperz: No, not cute. Angie is a demon cat, I swear. And our other cat is a kitten, and her name is Sasha. But we **_**do**_** have a German Shepherd we named Stephanie ;) **

**Anyhow, you guys wanted Alex's POV on WTF happened in last chapter so here it is! Enjoy my lovelies! **

_**Alex POV **_

"Selfish?! Okay I don't know who you think you are, but I am NOT selfish!"

"Yes you are. When you went shopping with your friends yesterday you spent over a thousand dollars on clothes and over two thousand on shoes. I've seen your closet when I was running a mandatory walkthrough, and at least half of your clothes still have the tags on them because you've never even worn them. You buy really expensive clothes and shoes and don't even bother to wear them. You do that, and then there are children in countries like Swaziland who don't even HAVE shoes or clean clothes everyday. You're selfish and you're spoiled rotten. Excuse my langue but frankly Casey, you're a brat too. Everything has always been handed down to you and you've never had to lift a finger. You need to realize that you can't just whine to get what you want."

Okay, so I have to admit, obviously my brain has not caught up to my mouth because everything that's coming out is like word vomit. I'm not upset with Casey, but I have no idea why I'm saying these things to her; out loud. It's just how I feel about it though. She is a little selfish, and it's not fair of her to act the way she does when there are millions of struggling children all over the world. Call me cliché, but I just thing that it's selfish.

Judging by the way that she's looking at me, I realize that I've probably crossed a huge line that I shouldn't have. I mean, this girl can have my job and then some so I really shouldn't even think about talking to her like this. Like I said, it was just word vomit.

Her beautiful emerald green eyes are staring into me angrily and I would be lying if I said that I'm not a little shunned down by the look that she's giving me. After all, I'm the one who kind of went off on her for no apparent reason at all.

I'm just starting to consider how my apology is going to go when she quickly lunges forward and crashes her lips dead on against my own. That's right, she kisses me. And it isn't a soft innocent kiss either. It's a kiss that displays all of her anger and frustrations with me but it's still a kiss.

The kiss takes me completely off guard and for a moment I lose all sense of rationality and my legs turn to jelly. I stumble back a step or two and that only seems to egg her on because she kisses me deeper. Here I am, wide eyed and confused as the presidential daughter has her lips on my own.

When I am just about to put separation between the two of us, she lightly drags my bottom lip between her teeth before pulling away completely. She's looking at me like she's pleased with what she's just done, but also with a challenging expression as if she's daring me to say something, not even shy about the obvious glint of smugness in her eyes.

I back away from her and shake my head before I push past her and leave her standing completely speechless without my presence. I don't know where I'm going, but I know I sure as hell can't stay in there. I rush to the nearest bathroom and lock the door behind me to make sure that there is absolutely no chance of anyone coming in here.

I grip the counter so hard that my knuckles are turning white, and I stand completely stationary for a long moment as I try to calm my breathing. What the fuck just happened? No, I know what the fuck just happened, Casey freaking Novak just kissed me, that's what happened. There's no need to play this ridiculous game of 'oh my god, am I dreaming' because I am very well aware of what just happened.

Typically, when someone is kissed by the person that they see as the axis in which their entire world revolves, they would be over the top enthusiastic. They would be giddily happy, and jumping for joy, bouncing off walls, all of that cliché stuff that happens when they say the object of your affections kisses you. But not me. That is most definitely far from what I'm feeling right now. In fact, if I'm honest with myself, I would even go as far to say that I'm a little sad.

Why am I sad? I know, it seems ridiculous to seem sad right? But alas, I'm sad, simply because I'm not an idiot. I'm a college graduate who has a college degree and education so as I said before; I am not an idiot.

I can tell just by the intensity of the kiss that it meant absolutely nothing to Casey like it probably should have meant to me. She was upset with me, that much was a little more than obvious. I can tell by the way that she looked at me before and after she kissed me that she did it out of anger in a ruthless attempt to get some sort of rise out of me.

Thus brings me to the explanation of why I am upset. It's not fair. That's why I'm upset. It's just not fair of her to kiss me like that when she's just doing it out of smugness just so she can crudely gain the upper hand. Granted, I can blame her completely because she has absolutely no idea of my feelings and my feelings for her, but it still isn't fair.

How I feel about her…I can't even explain how I feel anymore. I mean, at first it was a crush, but now I feel like it's starting to grow into more than that and I can't do anything to stop it. Every time she's even in the room my heart starts beating in double time, and every time I look at her I literally feel like my breath has been taken away. Whenever I see her smile, I can't help but think of how I want to be the one that puts that smile on her face. I want to be the one to make her laugh or make her blush when I compliment her. I want to be the one to take her to dinner, or put my arm around her during a movie, or hold her hand when we just feel like taking an evening walk. I want to kiss her, and hold her and…all of this is just really stupid isn't it?

None of that can ever happen. I may be describing my dream, but my dreams are someone else's reality. I could never be what Casey needs. Hell, she doesn't even like me to begin with anyway, but I could never be what she needs. I'm not a millionaire, or a supermodel, or a movie star, or even someone with a relatively high grossing job. I'm just regular, and Casey doesn't like regular.

What could she ever want with me? She could never want anything to do with me like that. I'd be lucky if I'm even worthy enough for her friendship let alone even have the chance for a relationship with her. I'm too 'awkward' for her. That's what I'm sure she would say if she new my thoughts and feelings for her. I heard her telling her friends about how awkward and strange and weird she thinks I am.

All of this is just totally pointless simply because she already has everything she could ever need or want if not more. She wouldn't need me for anything. Not to mention the fact that I'm sure it would be inappropriate, and I would probably lose my job. I'm supposed to be her bodyguard, and I guess a part of me would feel that I'm somehow taking advantage of her.

I've never really been the best with stuff like this. As I mentioned before, back when I was in New York, I did have kind of a crush on Abbie. I mean, it was stupid, but yeah, I did. I'd make excuses to go to her office, like if we needed a warrant or something, I was always the first one to volunteer to go ask the ADA. I'd take her coffee or breakfast sometimes, ya know, any excuse to get to see her or something. In all honesty I don't think she really caught on to my slight, ah, infatuation for lack of a better term. It's a good thing though because I quickly realized that I was chasing a locomotive on a tricycle and I realized that she was way too good for me. And in all honesty, as much as I loved pushing Abbie's buttons, I would never want her to lower her standards. "Fuck," I utter quietly to myself as I continue to stare into the sink in front of me. How am I supposed to look at Casey after today? What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to play it off like nothing ever happened? Am I supposed to go up to her and talk about it? I honestly have no idea what I'm supposed to do, and even a lesser idea of what I want to do. I feel like I'm supposed to be upset with her, but I'm not. I'm just upset about what she did. It confused me. A lot. Well no, I take that back, it didn't confuse me, it hurt and it hurt because I basically felt like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff looking down at what I can't have. I got to feel what it was like to be kissed by her, and it's all because she wanted something completely different. Not because she feels something for me, or she wants us to be together like I do.

If you look at it closely this kinda feels like a fairytale. There's the gorgeous princess who has everything she needs and can have anything and everyone she wants, and then there's me; the sad loser who falls for the beautiful princess. Although, after today, I feel like I've fallen and I'm not sure if I can get up.

I didn't mean to ruin her date with Avery, honestly I didn't. I just…I felt so jealous at seeing her sitting there laughing and making Casey smile and talking about future plans and everything else there was that I could be jealous about. I hadn't realized I was glaring and I really didn't mean to make Avery uncomfortable. I feel really bad about it now that I think about it.

I sigh audibly before I regain some of my composure and most of my dignity before I exit the bathroom. From there on, I move on autopilot when I shower and redress myself to continue on with the day. As I'm putting on my belt and re-clipping my gun to my holster, I can't help but silently pray that Casey doesn't have anything she wants to do today. I'm not sure if I can face her.

Obviously the forces of nature are not on my side because as soon as I finish making myself a lot more presentable; I see her walking towards me. Great. She approaches me and folds her arms and that typical defiant manner of hers.

"I was looking for you. Where'd you run off to?" she asks tilting her head to the side in question.

"Shower." I murmurs, angling my gaze towards my shoes.

"Right, well, I'm meeting Avery for lunch today, and as usual I want to be on time." She says before gets ready to walk away. What? That's it? She's just gonna pretend like nothing happened?

I swallow my nervousness and look up at her retreating form to call after her. "Um, Casey?" I call out, my voice coming out a lot more confident than I had planned, not that I'm complaining. "What…what happened back there?"

She turns around and frowns at me in confusion as if I just asked her if her hair was red. "What do you mean?"

"You, ah, y-you kissed me. Why?" I stutter out. Well, so much for that confidence I found before.

Casey only gives me a small nonchalant shrug in response. "It was nothing really. You made me angry and I wanted to make sure you stopped talking. Plus, I wanted to see you get mad. How come you never get mad? You're always so…calm, about everything. I mean, I realize that as an agent you have to be skilled in a crisis or whatever, but you're calmer than any other agent I've seen. It's like nothing ever bothers you. So yeah, that's why. It didn't really mean anything if that's what you were wondering."

I sigh internally and put my hands in my pockets. "Of course not, why would it? I mean, what better way than to piss someone off by kissing them right?" I chuckle.

"Yeah, right, whatever. Anyway, like I said, don't make me late to my lunch with Avery." She says flatly before actually leaving me this time.

I sigh out loud this time and lean my back against a way. Why do I do that? Why do I turn into a fool around her? Shit, I think I've actually fallen in love with her, that's why I'm a fool around her.

I, Alexandra Cabot, have fallen in love with the president's daughter.

**Hmmmm….Not sure of what to say about this one. Lol. Leave a review? **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter for you, hope you like **

_**Casey POV **_

I'm propped up on my elbow with the sheet covering my perspiration covered naked body. I smirk as I continue to comb my fingers through Avery's now messy blonde hair while she lie on her back, staring up at the ceiling trying to calm her breathing.

"You enjoy yourself?" I ask rhetorically as my smirk seems to widen at her flushed appearance. We're lying comfortably in her large bedroom at her mansion with me looking generally pleased with myself while she on the other hand is trying to regain some of that composure.

"More than you know." she giggles before slightly sitting up against the headboard. "You know, you never even told me where you learned to do that."

I shrug one of my shoulders and teasingly drag my finger down her bare arm. "You have your secrets, and I have mine." I reply smugly. "I like your sex hair by the way. I think it's actually a really good look on you. Maybe you should consider wearing it more often."

A throaty laugh escapes Avery's lips as she leans over intensely close to my own lips, hers hovering probably only a millimeter away. "I'll gladly wear it more often; as long as you promise to be my _stylist_." She purrs hotly before she predatorily claims my lips as her own.

Sex with Avery is unlike any kind of sex that I've had with any other man or woman before in my life. Personally, I can honestly say that I think sex with a woman is about ten times more amazing than sex with a man. Whenever I've had sex with a guy, it's always been too rough, or too quick, or too boring. I dunno, maybe I'm actually turning into a lesbian or something? I'm not too keen on labels.

But where was I? Oh yeah; sex with Avery is by far the best sex I've ever had in my life. She's just like putty in my fingers, her skin is amazing to touch, and her taste is intoxicating; in more ways than one of you get my drift.

Hearing her scream my name a few minutes ago was probably one of the best sounds I've ever heard and I'd be lying to myself and everyone around me if I said that seeing the legendary Avery Van Zandt all disheveled and flustered wasn't one of the sexiest thing in the world. Aside from a sweat Alex working out. I gotta admit, that is in fact pretty sexy.

Ugh, I've really gotta stop that. This is probably the third time I've done that since I've been in bed with Avery. I mean, even the other few times that we've slept together, I found myself thinking about Alex on more than just one occasion. Hell, even the times when I'm not in bed with Avery, I've found myself thinking about Alex on more than just one occasion; and not just in that bitter way that I'm so typically used to.

Ever since that day that I kissed her in the workout room, I've noticed that she's been acting a little differently towards me. I've actually gone as far as made an effort to be nice to her, but lately all she's been doing is keeping as far away from me as possible. I mean, true example of that is the fact that I am lying here with a naked supermodel in my arms WITHOUT Alex hovering somewhere in the shadows of a corner. That's right, I'm actually being left alone with Avery; can you believe that?

Anyhow, I've tried to approach Alex about what her problem is and why she won't let me talk to her, but every time I do that, she only gives me a smile accompanied by a small shrug and a quick 'It's nothing, really; I'm fine'. Every time. That's what happens every single time.

I'm not an idiot. I know that there is something going on with her, but in truth, I haven't been able to figure it out yet. Alex is the human equivalent of the worlds largest jigsaw puzzle, except, she's missing several pieces. I can't figure her out because all of the pieces aren't there. She's quiet, calm, protective, but at the same time, she can dominate. Like, I've seen her unleash hell on a punching bag when she didn't think I was watching and if I looked closely, she actually looked like she was pretty pissed off about something. Well, as pissed off as Alex can get anyway. Her definition of pissed off is pretty much the normal person's attitude when they have to get up early in the morning or something, but it's pissed off nonetheless.

As I said before, Alex is this giant jigsaw puzzle that I still haven't been able to figure out. Although, in my time as playing private eye, I have been able to pick up on a few things. I've noticed that she almost never mentions her mother, father, or any other kind of family to begin with. Even if I do suddenly bring up a question about her family or her childhood, she quickly dismisses it as if I never even asked. I guess I have a little more investigating to do.

That or I need to upgrade on my private eye skills because the only thing that I've figured out so far is that she's arachnophobic, and I found that out on accident one day when we were going to meet Kim for lunch and there was a spider in the car. Thank god she wasn't driving and I actually had to stop her from pulling her gun on it. It was actually kinda cute now that I think about it. But as I said before, Alex is a mystery.

"Hey, what're you thinking about?" Avery asks seriously, her fingers lightly stroking my cheek to gain my attention.

Crap, I've done it again. I spaced out again which means that I've probably been quiet for however long I've been pondering the mystery of Alex; which I have no idea how long that is. I'm so focused on thinking about how unfocused I was, that I don't exactly realize that I haven't responded to Avery's concerns.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine." I respond dumbly as I continue to absentmindedly thread my fingers through her silky blonde hair.

"Casey I didn't ask if you were alright, I asked what you were thinking about." She says quietly before she full turns to face me. "Is something wrong?"

I sigh quietly and shake my head. "No, nothings wrong. I was just thinking about Alex I guess. I think she's mad at me or something."

Okay, obviously that might not have been the correct thing to say because I see a stony expression pass over Avery's face but as soon as it's there, it disappears and she's back to looking at me with general concern. "Why do you think that?"

"I dunno, she won't speak to me or anything. She's just been really quiet. More quiet than usual."

"Hm, you know, I've been meaning to ask you about her. Whenever we spend time together and she's around, she glares at me every time I'm intimate with you in anyway. I grab your hand and it looks like she's plotting in her mind about how she's going to manually chop of my fingers one by one. Does she not like me or something? It really wouldn't bother me if she didn't. I'm a model and an actress, I'm used to people not liking me for one reason or another, but I was just wondering what I've done to your bodyguard to make her look so hostile. You're not sleeping with her are you?"

My eyes widen to the size of baseballs and I immediately shake my head vigorously enough to successfully get my point across. "Oh my god, no. Just no. Of course not. That would be so inappropriate not to mention my father would kill me because of it. No. Why would you ask that?"

Avery shrugs as if I hadn't just asked her a serious question. "I just felt like I needed to ask. Needed to make sure that I have you all to myself." She hums before she leans in and starts delicately kissing my neck. "You know, I just a new Jacuzzi put in downstairs. Why don't we go test it out and open a bottle of champagne to celebrate its instillation?"

"As tempting as that sound, I actually think I'm gonna head out." I say as I shift in the bed, trying to ignore the disappointment written all over her face.

"You could always just spend the night here." she explains as she sits up with the sheet clutched tightly to her body as she watches me pull on all my clothes.

Quickly shaking my head I pull my hair back into a ponytail to avoid fussing with it before I crawl across the bed and give her a quick kiss. "No, I really do need to go. My father would have hell on me if I didn't come back."

"Fine," she sighs before she leans in to steal another kiss. "Listen, I was gonna wait to tell you this over breakfast because I honestly thought you'd finally stay this time but I guess I'll tell you now. I have a show that I have to do in London. I'll be lying out tomorrow."

I blink several times as my brain processes her news. "Wow, okay, that's…that's sudden, but great though. How long will you be gone?"

"Unfortunately, it's still pending. Like I said, I planned on telling you over breakfast, but I thought you'd stay." She trails off as she runs a hand through her hair. "Anyhow, I'll call you when I get there, if that's okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine." I mumble in response. We exchange a few more pleasantries before I soon find myself in a car on my way back home. I can't help but think that she's known about this London show for quite some time and that she just neglected to tell me until last minute. Something tells me that they don't just contact supermodels over night to sign over deals in major fashion shows all the way across the world. I mean, Avery and I haven't exactly established what we are to each other, but it still would've been nice to know…wouldn't it?

* * *

_**Alex POV **_

"I can't believe you actually drove down here because you quote unquote, felt like I needed you." I say chuckling as Olivia sends me that trademark grin of hers.

"Hey, I have about a week or so of forced vacation time, and when you called you said you had a problem. What better way than to come down and talk about it with you personally than over some less than platonic phone call?" she responds with a shrug.

I laugh again and nod my head at how loyal our friendship actually is. "That's true. I'm just surprised that's all." I trail off quietly before I sigh. "I don't know Liv, things are just all weird how they are right now."

"Care to elaborate for me?"

"I ah, well you know how I am assigned to directly guard the presidential daughter right? Well all of that's been fine except…I've sort of developed feelings for her."

Liv raises an eyebrow and tilts her head to the side as if beckoning for me to go on. "What do you mean feelings?"

"Not the kinda feelings I had for Abbie, that's for sure." I say but immediately wince as soon as the words leave my mouth. Judging by the look on Olivia's face I really have said far too much. Damnit! I forgot I hadn't told anyone about that.

"Whoa, pause," she says before she turns on my couch and faces me directly. "You had a thing for Abbie? No way, tell me about it?"

I blush and shrug my shoulders as I nervously begin fiddling with my fingers. "It wasn't like a huge thing or anything. I mean, it was more of an infatuation. Although there was one time where I as super horny and she was looking super hot and I really wanted to sleep with her, but that was just a bad day for me."

"Ah, you didn't miss much." Olivia murmurs as she looks like she's recalling a memory before she shakes her head. "No, you definitely didn't miss much."

"Was she bad in bed or something?"

"No, she wasn't bad it was just…well I've had better times, let's just say that. Don't tell her any of this though. She'll kill me personally."

I chuckle and nod my head at her pleading request. "Noted. But anyway, I kinda have these feelings for Casey. I mean, at first I thought it was just a stupid crush but somehow along the way, it's grown into more than that. When I'm with her she's all I even think about and when I'm not with her all I can think about is being with her so I can go back to thinking about her. No matter what I'm doing or where I am, I'm always thinking about her. I just…it's to the point where I know it's not a crush anymore. Liv, I honestly think I'm in love with her."

Olivia's eyes widen and she nods her head before making a small whistling sound. "Wow, Alex, this is…this is big for you isn't it? I mean, wow...you're in love? And with the president's daughter no less? This is huge."

"Yeah, it's a huge mess that's what it is. I can't be in love with her Olivia. I just…it isn't right. I'm supposed to be her bodyguard; I'm not supposed to fall in love with her, but I have and I don't know what to do about it."

"What do you mean you don't know what to do about it? Do what your heart wants you to. Go after her. Win her heart."

"It's not that simple Liv. It isn't. Aside from the fact I'd probably lose my job, it's already obvious that she wouldn't want me. I mean, she's seeing a supermodel right now for god's sake. How would I ever match up with that? If you had a choice between me and a supermodel, who would you honestly go for?"

Liv looks at me for a moment before she shrugs. "Probably you mostly because I think all supermodels are superficial and fake. Listen Alex, you're a good woman and I know deep down somewhere in there, you realize that. You're passionate and you have an amazing heart; something that most celebrities don't have. I think that you just need to show Casey that you're worth loving."

I snort humorlessly and shake my head at my best friend's statement. "And how do you expect that I do that?"

"Well, Casey was a senator's daughter right? Maybe she didn't grow up like most kids did. Ya know, parks, the circus, the amusement park, carnivals. Regular things like that. Take her out for a day. Show her what normal people do. Get her out of her Prada and Louboutin world and show her what it's like to be a regular civilian. Spend time with her, get to know her. But that does mean you're going to have to let her get to know you."

I take a shaky deep breath before I nod my head. Liv is right I guess. I mean, I could take Casey and show her some things. Granted, I was never really a normal kid myself but I'm sure that I can improvise just for her.

"I guess you're right Liv." I say with a small sigh. "I just don't want her lowering her standards just for me you know? I mean, if I'm not worth her time, then…"

"Stop," she interrupts me quickly and I immediately shut my mouth. "That's your issue right there; your confidence. You may be confident professionally I will give you that, but you do lack a confidence in your personal life. Alex, listen to me and you listen good alright? You are an amazing person. You are passionate about the things that mean the most to you, you're intelligent, and you're beautiful. You have a college degree Alex, and more than one might I add simply because you graduated early and you had a little more time on your hands than anyone else. Any woman would be lucky to fall in love with you and they'll be even luckier to have you fall in love with them. I can tell by that gleam in your eyes that Casey does mean a lot to you, so I'm not going to sit here and list off all the consequences for you; I'm going to be your best friend and tell you to go for it. A lot of people say 'the heart wants what the heart wants' and there is no denying that. Follow your heart to wherever it's leading you because it won't lead you astray."

I smile and duck my head down before nodding slightly. "Have you always been this wise Detective Benson?"

Olivia crinkles her nose a little before she lets out a light laugh. "Geez, when you say it like that you make me sound older than I actually am. But to answer your question, no I haven't, but experiences make you wiser don't they?" she jokes before reaching over to take my hand. "You're a good person Alex, you just need to show that to Casey. That's all."

"Thanks Liv." I say softly knowing that mostly every word she's spoken is true. Maybe I will take Casey to do some 'normal people' stuff. The hard part is just going to be getting her to agree to it. Maybe I won't tell her what we're doing until we get there. I don't know, I'll just have to act it out on impulse.

**Hm…not sure what to say about this one either, lol. Leave your feedbacks! **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ahhh because I pretty much killed all of you on Fixing What's Broken, here is another chapter for this little fic right here, and I think you're gonna enjoy it **

_**Alex POV **_

I take a deep breath as I gather up the courage to approach Casey. It is nearly late afternoon and all I can do is hope and pray that she doesn't have any kind of other plans so I don't look like a complete fool doing this. I approach her sitting on a bench in one of the gardens and I can't help but notice that she looks a little upset. "Hey, are you alright?" I ask with genuine concern. "Is something wrong?"

She shoots me a glare but it immediately softens as she purses her lips and folds her arms tensely. "I'm just a little upset is all." she murmurs as she sits with a very rigid posture.

I take a seat on the bench next to her and to be honest I'm a little surprised that she doesn't move away from me. "Are you not spending the evening with Avery today?"

"Pfft no. Avery has a fashion show that she had to do in London so she had to leave."

"Oh, I see, so that's why you're upset."

Casey sighs as her posture finally relaxes and she drags her fingers through her beautiful red locks. "No actually, that's not why I'm upset. I mean, it sort of is, but not really." She rambles, pausing as she takes a breath to calm her self again. "See, I'm upset because Avery didn't tell me that she had a show in London until the night before she was leaving. She told me the whole deal was pretty last minute but I can't help but feel like she kept it under the rug you know? I mean, I've been to a fashion show and those things are organized down to a tee. I highly doubt that she was called for a show in London and have a flight ready that very same day. So I guess that's why I'm upset."

"Because you feel like she kept it from you." I state with a firm nod of my head. "I'm really sorry that she just kind of up and left like that. When's she gonna come back?"

"I don't know and she doesn't know either. She said she'd call me when she landed but that didn't happen, not that I expected it to or anything. I can't really blame her though, she's a model with a movie coming out so she's gotta be super busy all the time, but still. I'm sure that she could have at least managed the phone call to let me know that she landed safely. I don't know, it's stupid really. We haven't really talked about what we are at all. I mean we go to dinner and events together and we've slept together a few times but we haven't really talked about our 'relationship status'. You know how the media is, they just assume that we're dating, but it's much more complicated than that. I don't know why I'm telling you all of this; it's not like you care about how crappy my personally life is getting right now."

I shrug my shoulders and give her a warm smile in response. "Hey, if you ever really need to vent or anything, I'm a really good listener. I can nod in places where you need me to even if you don't want me to say anything. I pause before I suddenly turn nervous again. "Um, actually, I did come out here to ask you something. Do you have any plans this evening?"

Casey eyes me curiously for a moment before she shakes her head slowly. "No, I actually don't have any plans this evening…why?"

"Great, because I wanna take you somewhere." I say as I stand up and pull her up as well. "But you need to go change…into something casual."

She looks down at her self clad in her silk blouse, designer skirt, and Prada heels. "This is casual." She says innocently before looking back up at me with genuine confusion. Of course, because designer is all she's ever been used to.

I shake my head at her out fit and motion to my sweatshirt and jeans. "No, Casey. This is casual. What you have on, is far from casual. Hell, what you have on is far from fancy. Now go change."

With a heavy sigh, she rolls her eyes at me and then proceeds to make her way to her bedroom to hopefully change into something that is suitable for what I have planned this evening. Oh well, if I don't approve of what she has on, I can always go tell her to change again until she gets it right.

After about ten plus minutes of waiting, Casey finally approaches me wearing a royal blue long sleeved shirt, form fitting black skinny jeans, and a pair of black converse. Even in casual clothing she still manages to look absolutely stunning.

"Is this casual enough for you?" she says, adding enough emphasis in her words to try and get her point across.

"Okay, I gotta admit, I'm impressed. Honestly, I thought you'd ditch the Prada and show out here in Gucci instead claiming it to be casual." I chuckle as I lead her towards my personal vehicle. "You can sit up in the front if you want. I'm not gonna make you ride in the back like you do when you're all formal any stuff." I say as I open the passenger side door for her.

I make my way around to the driver's side and climb in, only to find that she's gazing at me curiously. "What?"

"Nothing, I had just assumed that outside of work you would drive something a lot smaller. I had always wondered why you weren't jerky when you drove the Suburban." She responds with a shrug before reaching over to buckle her seatbelt.

"I like SUVs. I'm not comfortable in a small car. I don't know, I guess I just don't feel safe in them." I say as I start the engine. "Ready to go?"

Casey nods her head but doesn't say anything as we pull out onto the street. She just simply stares out of the windshield for the longest of moments before she actually speaks again. "You're not taking me out into the middle of nowhere to shoot me are you?" she asks curiously as she begins to gaze at the dissipating city around her.

I frown and shake my head as I keep my focus on the road in front of me. "No, of course not. I'd want people to see me kill you." I say with a straight face, unable to contain my laughter when I see the look on her face. "I was kidding."

"Oh my god, you made a joke?" She asks seriously, her facial expression turning to that of complete shock.

"Hey, I can be funny sometimes. I'm not boring like you say that I am."

"Fine, but still. You made a joke for the firs time in like, ever. Where are you taking me anyway?"

Instead of me responding, I think she gets her answer when I pull into the parking lot of a carnival. She eyes the carnival with an undecipherable expression before she turns to me again. "You brought me to a carnival?"

"Yeah, I thought it'd be fun." I say nonchalantly as I unbuckle my seat belt and get out of my car. "You coming?"

Casey's movements are slow and careful as if she wants to soak up every image of the carnival. "I've never been to one." She says quietly as we begin making our way towards the entrance. I pay the admission fees as she still continues to look around her in complete awe at everything that's going on.

"You've never been to carnival?" I repeat, turning to her to see if my suspicious are in fact true.

"Never. I grew up very…conserved. I wasn't allowed out of the house a lot and my parents were never home. I just stayed in and was occupied just like any other spoiled little rich kid." She responds with a mirthless chuckle.

I nod my head and shove my hands into the pockets of my sweatshirt. "Well, now you will be able to say that you've been to a carnival. Come on, I know what we should do first."

"Alex, I-I'm really not sure about this." Casey says nervously as we sit in the next open space on the Ferris wheel. "I'm not too good when it comes to heights like this. Maybe we shouldn't…"

"Oh come on Casey, live a little. It'll be fun." I say excitedly as the ride begins to move. Casey immediately tenses up and clutches my hand tightly as we begin to climb higher and higher until we get to the very top and the ride stops.

"Oh my god, we stopped. Why did we stop? Is the ride broken? We're gonna die Alex." She rambles as she continues to squeeze my hand as if it's her only lifeline at the moment.

I chuckle and shake my head trying to calm her down but it's pretty hard when she looks so darn adorable right now. "We're not gonna die Casey. And the ride isn't broken. We stopped because they're letting people on in the seats at the bottom." as soon as I say that the ride begins to move again and we start slowly making our way around and around. "See? Everything is fine."

Even though Casey has seemed to relax a bit, I can't help but notice the fact that she is still holding my hand; just not in the tight death grip she was holding it in a few moments ago. I'm not sure if she notices that she's holding my hand, but I'm not going to say anything. I think I just want to cherish the moment of feeling her hand nestled in my own.

After the ride is over I can tell that she's more than happy to get back on the ground. She sways a little before she stumbles into me and I have to wrap my arms around her waist to keep both of us from tumbling to the ground. "Whoa, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. I just get a little dizzy after I come down from heights; that's all. It's even like this after I get off an airplane." She replies before falling completely silent. I think we both realize at the same time that my arms are still around her waist even though she has fully regained her balance and we both soon separate with blushes creeping up our cheeks. Well that was interesting.

* * *

_**Casey POV **_

"There is _no way_ in hell." I say out loud as I watch Alex play the ridiculous carnival game. She has at least three targets left to shoot at and only one more shot left in the BB gun she's holding. There is literally no way in hell that she can pull this off.

A wide cocky smile spreads across her face and she winks at me before turning back to the game. She stands completely stationary for a long moment before she fires her last shot and takes out all three of the remaining targets all at once. No fucking way.

Alex turns to me and her cocky smirk widens as she takes note of my dumbfounded expression. The game operator hands her a giant over stuffed blue teddy bear and she thanks him before sauntering over to me. "You were saying."

I huff and roll my eyes at her childishness but I do have to admit that I am impressed. "Whatever Cabot, it was just luck." I say jokingly as I take another bite of my cotton candy. I've never had cotton candy either, or a hot dog like I've had today. The closet I've ever come to it is the gourmet crème brulee and roasted pork that the chefs made for me.

Alex smiles sheepishly before she shakes her head and offers me the teddy bear. "Well cheer up gloomy Gus because I won it for you." she offers, that damned smile never once faltering or leaving her face.

I graciously take the teddy bear and immediately I'm enthralled at how soft it's fur is. I think it's really adorable that she won the bear for me. No one has ever given me something like that. I mean, I've gotten expensive jewelry and stuff before, but it's not like this. This seems…different for some reason. It's so simple but at the same time it's so sweet.

"Thank you." I say quietly as we begin walking towards an ice cream stall. She purchases a rather large ice cream sundae with two spoons. We make our way over to a secluded where we take a seat as she offers me one of the spoons before eyeing me suspiciously.

"Don't tell me you've never had ice cream either." She says seriously taking note of how I'm looking at the sundae.

I giggle and shake my head before I take the spoon and scoop up some of the sundae before putting it in my mouth. I hum and lick the chocolate syrup from my lips before I answer her. "No of course I've had ice cream before. Just never like this. Not with the nuts and the chocolate sauce and whipped cream. This…this is really good."

"Well, I'm glad I could introduce you to an ice cream sundae." Alex responds before she takes a bite from what I have now personally deemed 'Heaven in a bowel'.

We eat in silence for a moment before I sit the spoon on the table and look at Alex seriously. "So we talked about me tonight, and I told about you how my life was growing up, but what about you? You're still this cryptic mystery that I'm trying to figure out. We talked about my family, but what about yours?"

"I've never…really had a family." She responds after a large amount of hesitation.

"I don't understand…" I respond with a small shake of my head. How can someone just not have a family?

Alex sighs quietly and struggles to find words for a moment before she begins speaking in a tone I've never heard before. "I've never really had a family because I was basically an orphan. My parents didn't want me. I grew up in an orphanage because I was never adopted by anyone. I guess the way I thought of it was, if my own parents didn't want me, why would any other family? Anyway, I grew up there and then I had to make my own way through life without the support of parents or anything. The mothers at the home, they were nice ladies and they would care for all the children, but I guess it just isn't exactly the same as having a mother's love. I grew up, put myself through college and basically just had to make my way on my own. I've had to do everything else pretty much all on my own."

I blink several times and open my mouth to speak but I'm unable to find any words. "I—I but I-I don't…but you said that your mother and father weren't involved in your life you…oh my god, this is what you meant. Alex, I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how things were for you growing up."

"They were…harder than normal I guess. I did get to come to a carnival though. The mothers at the orphanage would take some of the younger children every now and again. I've never met my real parents, hell, I don't even know where my name came from. All I know is this is what's on file and this is what I've been called all my life. That's pretty sad isn't it? That I don't know even know where my own name came from?"

"So, what made you want to be in the secret service?"

"I don't know really. I had always been fascinated by law enforcement. I became a cop and I guess I just wanted more after that so here I am."

Wow, I honestly can't believe what she's just told me. I mean, never once would I have ever suspected that she would be an orphan. I can't even begin to imagine what that's like. Growing up, all I've ever had was stuff handed to me on a silver platter but to think about someone who grew up with almost nothing. Grew up in a home with several other children with out a mother or a father. Granted, my mother and father were never really around that often, but I at least I knew they were there. Hell, I even know that my parents were the one who gave me my name. Alex doesn't know that, and to be honest, it makes me sad to think about it.

"So yeah, that's…pretty much my story." She says quietly as we finish off the rest of our sundae. "Are you…um…ready to go? I should probably be getting you back."

I nod as I stand up from the table we were sitting at and clutch my teddy bear tightly. As we make our way out of the carnival back towards the parking lot, I feel the need to reach over and lace our fingers together.

The drive back into the city is rather quiet. We don't really speak to each other the whole drive back and the only movements we make are the occasional glance here and there accompanied by a small smile.

The sun has pretty much set by the time she parks and turns the car off. Even then, we still get out in silence as she walks me to the door with me still holding on to my teddy bear as if my life depends on it.

"I really had fun tonight." I say quietly, breaking the awkward silence between us. "It really means a lot that you would take me and show me what I've missed out on."

"Glad I could help." Alex responds in that calm demeanor of hers. She gives me a smile and prepares to walk back to her car when she stops and turns back around.

Everything seems to be moving in slow motion as she approaches me and gently cups my face with both of her hands. Her hands are soft and warm against my skin and her stormy blue eyes are cast downwards towards my lips. I can feel her breath commingling with my own as she slowly begins to lean in closer.

After what feels like ages, she gently takes my lips in her own. The kiss is soft, gentle and sweet, and it's something like I've never experienced before. It's not hungry or needy, it's just chaste and gentle and definitely the most perfect kiss I've ever felt in my life. It doesn't even occur to me that my bodyguard is kissing me, and I am most definitely kissing her back.

Alex breaks the kiss and gently strokes my cheek with her thumb before she trails her hand down my arm and ends up taking my hand in her own. "Goodnight Casey." She whispers before she brings my hand to her lips, giving it a small kiss before leaving me completely winded.

I make my way to my bedroom completely on autopilot and I feel like I float the whole way there. I can't believe what just happened. I mean, in one night she opened up and she kissed me. She actually kissed me and you know what?

I loved it.

**Casey loved it. I loved it. Did you guys love it? I hope so. I got all tingly inside writing this chapter. Hehehehe leave your feedback! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter for you :)! Hope you enjoy! **

_**Casey POV **_

I'm having lunch with Alex and to be honest, I personally think that she looks a little more than uncomfortable. She keeps shifting awkwardly in her seat and she'll glance at me when I'm really not looking but as soon as I try to make eye contact with her, she snaps her head away and starts gazing at something else. I haven't done anything that I'm not aware of, have I? I mean, surely she'd tell me if I had been doing something wrong. Right?

"Are we going to talk about this, or are you just going to pretend like nothing happened?" I ask once we've left the restaurant. I'm not usually a good person with silence and that's really what we've been sitting in for probably the past week now. Ever since she took me to the carnival and we had an amazing time, she's just been really quiet. She was already really quiet to begin with but she's been really quiet even for her.

"I—I don't know what I'm supposed to say." She responds quietly as we walk a little bit and find a nice bench to sit on. "What do you want me to say?"

I sigh quietly and shake my head before I turn to her and fix her with a serious look. "Alex, you can't live your life based on what people want from you; surely you know that. It doesn't exactly work like that. You might not know what you're supposed to say, but what do you want to say?"

She looks like she struggles with her words for a moment before she takes a deep breath and the two of us make direct eye contact for probably the first time this afternoon. "What did you feel when I kissed you?"

"I thought…I thought it was nice. Is that what this is about? That kiss?" I ask with my eyes slightly narrowed as I try to figure out where she's going with this. "You don't have to apologize for it you know. I really enjoyed it?"

"Y-you did?"

"Of course I did. It was sweet and to be honest I thought it was romantic. You know Alex, ever since you were assigned to me, I've been trying to figure you out. I could feel your lingering gaze crawling over me with interest, I could see how you would look at me when you'd think I wasn't watching, I could hear when your breath would hitch slightly whenever I would brush past you enough to initiate contact and lastly I would see how you would look at all of my dates. They were afraid of you, you know. You are very intimidating when you're around literally everyone else, but around me you're different. Your soft and sweet, you have this hidden innocence to you that I've never seen in a person before, and not to mention you're insanely cute; especially when you blush. At first I didn't understand what any of those things meant, but after that kiss when you took me home, I think I finally figured it out. It's okay for you to have feelings for me Alex, and I think spending that night with you did help me realize my attraction to you as well."

She sighs heavily after I finish speaking and leans forward on the bench where she rests her head in her hands. "It's not okay Casey. Look at us. Look at how different we are. Hell, look at where we are. I'm your bodyguard Casey, I—I'm not supposed to have these feelings for you. And you aren't supposed to return them."

I frown slightly, not in a patronizing way but more so in confusion. "You can't exactly tell me what I'm supposed to do Alex. What if I want to have feelings for you too?"

"But why? What could you possibly want with me when you can go out and get any man or woman you want whenever you want? Look at you, you date supermodels and actresses and millionaires and athletes; what could you possibly even want with me? Why would you waste your time?"

"You're not like most people." I explain quietly as I look away and shake my head. "When I see how you look at me, it wasn't how anyone has every looked at me. You don't look at me like I'm the first daughter or I'm a celebrity or any of those things along that line. It's like you see past all of that. You overlook my spoiled rich girl attitude and you look at me like I'm a totally different person. It's like who I am to society doesn't even matter to you. So do answer your question, I don't think that I would be wasting my time. I think that I'd actually be making up for the lost time that I've spent with anyone else."

Alex looks up at me for a long moment before she turns her head again and drags her fingers through her ponytail. "It's inappropriate. I'm your bodyguard…I could lose my job…" she murmurs as I can see that she is mentally trying to map out all of the consequences in her head.

"No one would have to know." I offer up, trying to let her know that I'm serious about this. I know it might seem like a sudden change for me, but I've done some thinking, some long and hard thinking about what I want and to be honest? I think that I want to try this. I'm sure that I want to try this. "No one would have to know but us because no one else matters."

"Am I really worth the trouble I'm sure you'd be in if your father found out? Casey, I'm trying to tell you, I…I don't know if I can be what you need me to be."

"And what do you think that I need you to be? Alex, I don't need you to be like any of my other superficial 'relationships'. I don't need you to walk to red carpet with me like I did with Avery, I don't need you to pose for cover shoots on magazines, I don't need you to do interviews with me. I don't need any of that from you, and frankly, that's not what I want from you. I just want you to be you. I like you how you are and you don't need to change anything that you are just for me. Why are you so insecure about this?"

She is silent for another moment and judging by the way her lips have pursed I can tell that the gears are turning in her head and she's thinking again. "I can't take care of you." she murmurs so quietly that I almost missed it. In all honesty, I have no idea what she means by the statement but thankfully she continues on so I don't have to ask any questions. "I mean, I know that you honestly don't need anyone to 'take care of you'. You already have anything that you could possibly want and if you don't then there is a way that you can get whatever it is. I just…I have this feeling like if we were to ever…do this, I feel like I'm supposed to take care of you. I want to take care of you, but I can't. How are you supposed to take care of someone that already has everything that she wants? I just don't know what it is that I can offer you."

I think in her rambling she hasn't really noticed that I've scooted closer to her on the bench. I place my hand on her cheek and gently turn her face towards mine before I lean in and kiss her. It's not like the kiss that I gave her the first time I kissed her when I just wanted her to shut up, but it's a real kiss, much like the one that she gave me after what I considered to be our first date.

I feel her relax into the kiss and she soon slides her hand around to my lower back so she's pulling me closer to her despite our awkward setting on the bench. As the kiss begins to gradually escalate, and our lips slowly begin to glide perfectly against one another, I slide my hands up her shoulders and back behind her head where I skillfully pull at the little elastic band that's keeping her hair tied up into a ponytail. I pull on the band and her hair tumbles down over her back making it easier for me to greedily run my fingers through.

After a moment of nearly making out on the bench, air becomes too great a necessity for us to continue on any longer. I pull away but not before I place one last chaste kiss to her lips, smirking when I see her flustered and taken aback expression. "You can only offer me yourself. That's all I ask." I whisper, going back to what the whole discussion was about before I felt the need to distract her for a moment.

Alex clears her throat after a moment of gazing at me and I giggle when I see her trying to fight the blush that's making its way down her neck. I can tell that she was completely taken off guard by my notions but hell; I didn't know what else to do!

"You're hair looks better when it's down. I like it." I say as I run my fingers through her silky golden locks

"Really? I think it gets in the way." she responds with a chuckle once she's finally got her breathing under control. "Casey, are you sure you want to do this?"

"I've never been more sure of anything." I whisper before I steal another kiss again.

* * *

_**Alex POV **_

I'm not really sure of what I'm doing. I mean, to be honest, I've never really had a girlfriend before. I'm not sure of what I am technically supposed to do so I've just been playing everything off of impulse which has been okay so far. It's been almost two and a half weeks since that talk Casey and I had that one day and I think our relationship is actually growing with each passing day.

I'm sitting here chewing my pen as I stare at the piece of paper in front of me. I can't be spending time with Casey right now because she had to attend some speech with her father, but I don't mind because I always know that I'll see her later on anyway.

I sigh contently and just as I'm about to put my pen back to my paper, the paper is suddenly swiped out from under me and I glance up to see a smirking Kate making her way across the room beginning to read what I've wrote aloud. Well isn't this great.

"Give that back, Todd." I threaten as I stand up from my seat and begin stalking her around the room as she smirks back at me and continues to keep a fair enough distance between the two of us.

"Why? What is it?" she teases back as she stands on the other side of the table. _"I wish I could really express the happiness I have found in spending time with you over the last few weeks. Getting to know you has brought a dimension to my life that it just never had before. Every time we are together, the world looks a little better and the sun shines a little brighter._

_I'm not exaggerating when I say that you're the kindest, most animated, and most amazing person I have ever met. The more I learn about you, the more I want to know. You're incredible. You have, in a way, changed the way I see the world. I am a better person, and I want to be an even better person, just because I have known you." she reads and I feel my face growing warmer and warmer as she continues on._"

"Come on Kate seriously, just give it back." I plead helplessly not wanting her to read anymore but unfortunately she's a hell of a lot quicker than I am and she moves to the opposite side of the table just as I advance around to the side where she was previously standing.

"_Since I met you, my world is coming alive. The more I get to know you the more I feel something warm and beautiful stirring within me. Is this feeling what poets have struggled to describe as love? All I know is that I feel happy and complete when I am with you. When we are apart, I am lethargic and unfocused. I find myself watching the clock as it ticks off the moments until we can be together again._" She trails off seeing as that's all I've really written so far. "Jeez Cabot, didn't know you were such a hopeless romantic." She chuckles as she holds out the paper that I bristly snatch away from her where I start grumbling and plop back down into my chair to start scribbling on my letter. "I didn't know you were seeing someone."

"Yeah, well I am." I mumbles as I put my pencil back to the paper but refrain from writing as I can still feel Kate looking at me with genuine curiosity. "And before you ask, no you don't know who it is I'm seeing and I'm not going to tell you who I'm seeing."

She snorts quietly before chuckling and leaning against the table, staring down at me and my probably overly cheesy letter. "Well, I think it's cute that you're writing a love letter. People don't seem to do that anymore you know. Now days it's just a text message or an email or an emoticon or something like that. I think love letters bring back the old fashioned romance in a relationship and like I said before, it's super cute. Who knew that you could be so cheesy and adorable?"

Of course, that damned dreaded blush slowly creeps its way up to my cheeks and it only seems to make Kate grin like the Cheshire cat. "I'm sure it's not even that good…" I murmur suddenly wondering if Casey thinks my 'just because' love letters to her every now and again are too cheesy and ridiculous. What if she just says that she likes them just so she doesn't hurt my feelings? Or am I just being too insecure about this again?

"Not even that good? Alex, it's amazing. If you career as a secret service agent doesn't work out you could always go into poetry, or the Hallmark greeting card business." Kate replies with a light laugh before she puts her hand on my shoulder. "Hey, I'm proud of you, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I know. Thanks." I respond returning her smile before I look back down at my letter. Maybe it isn't that bad after all.

**Only one update today guys, and I don't think I'll be updating more than once a day in the near future so sorry about that. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, leave your feedback! **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Short chapter this time guys, but hey, at least it's a chapter, I guess :/ hope you enjoy. **

_**Casey POV **_

"I got your letter." I purr, snuggling further into Alex's side as she is trying to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's. I, on the other hand, am more focused on her rather than the movie but I guess she just hasn't gotten the hint that I want to be a little more intimate. I sigh in my head before I snuggle even closer to her and lean in to where my breath is bouncing off her neck. "I think all of your letters are super sweet."

I can see her blush faintly before she looks at me and smiles. "You really think so? I wasn't sure if you'd like them but…I'm glad you do." she stammers a little before she slightly shifts away from me on the couch putting a little distance between us. Okay, obviously she does NOT get the memo here.

Seeing that I need to up the ante a little, I slide even closer to her than I was sitting before and seize the opportunity to start placing kisses in the delicate spots of her neck. "I missed you today." I mumble as I move further back and begin nibbling on her earlobe. I smirk when I see her breathing becoming flustered and I know that I'm getting closer to what I want. I want her, hell, sometimes I feel like I NEED her, but right now, it's this aching want that I am DYING to satisfy.

"I missed you too." She stammers, taking in a shaky deep breath before she starts to put a little more distance between us again. Before she can get to far, I move over and straddle her thighs to where I am positive she isn't going to run away from me.

"Casey, I—I um…I-I can't see the movie." She stutters again as she tries to peer around me in an attempt to see the television screen.

I roll my eyes and flick off her television with the remote before I sit it back down and return my lips to her neck. "Mmm, you don't need to see that old movie right now." I hum as I gently begin suckling on her pulse point. Once I'm sure that I've left quite a noticeable mark, I move my lips from her pulse point and begin making my way back towards her ear where I suck the lobe between my teeth. "I think we should do something else that'll be entertaining for us both."

"C-Casey, maybe we should, oh god…" she gasps as I gently bite down on her ear before I teasingly run my tongue across the shell of it. "I-I don't know Casey…" she continues on all though I can feel how her breathing has become staggered and wavered.

I move my lips back down to her neck while my hands begin busing themselves with the buttons of her shirt. For the longest of times, I've been dying to see her shirtless and have her all to myself. I've been literally dying to feel her abdominal muscles quivering under my touch as I run my fingers down her stomach.

Unfortunately, my fantasy is cut short when she grabs both of my hands, stilling any and all of my motions. I lean back to look at her with confusion and before she can speak like I know she wants to, I attack her lips in a heated kiss that I know she won't be able to refuse; and she doesn't. I lightly bite down on her lower lip which causes her to gasp and I seize this as an opportunity to plunge my tongue into her eagerly awaiting mouth. My tongue meets hers and the two begin dancing smoothly against one another, any grip that she had formerly had on my hands dissipating. As the kiss deepens, I continue to work on the buttons of her shirt, and I'm almost finished two when her hands reach up and stop me again.

"Casey, I think there's something we should talk about." Alex gasps as she tries to free her self from my active lips and wandering hands. No way Cabot. I've wanted you for this long and now I finally have you. There can't be a good enough reason for you to want me to stop this.

"We can talk later. After this. I want you." I breath before I lean down to capture her lips and attempt to remove this damned shirt again. This has never been so hard for me and I don't understand why it is now!

With a low (and rather sexy) growl, Alex wraps her arms around my waist and flips us to where I am lying on my back and she is hovering over me. Oh, so she wants to play it like this then? That's fine, I'll work with it as long as I can get my turn later. I reach up to wrap my arms around her neck but she moves away and takes my wrists in her hands yet again. Damn it!

"Casey, stop." She says sternly while shaking her head. "There's something I should probably tell you and I-I'm not exactly sure how you'll take it."

"What, is this going to be your first time with a woman?" I pry with a raised eyebrow, slightly irritated that I'm highly turned on and being deprived at the moment.

Alex shakes her head and gnaws on her lower lip in that cute little nervous way of hers. "I-I well um…no, it's not that…I mean…kind of…but I…um…"

I raise my eyebrows even higher if possible and I honestly can't hide the smile that plays at my lips. "Ha, what, you honestly aren't about to tell me something like you're a virgin or something, are you?" I say with a chuckle before I giggle for a moment. I giggle quietly for a moment before I full take note at the look that she's giving me and then it finally dawns on me. "Oh god, you are; aren't you?"

She blushes a deep shade of red that I have honestly never seen before and she averts her eyes before she moves off of me and over to the farthest end of her sofa where she quickly begins buttoning her shirt again. Wow, way to really put your foot in your mouth Casey.

I sit up and eye her cautiously for a moment and I take note of how she won't even look at me right now. "Alex, I…I'm really sorry. I had no idea." I say quietly not really knowing what I can do to fix it.

"How could you know? It's not like I walk around wearing a sign." She snorts humorlessly as she folds her arms and still refuses to look at me.

"I'm sorry." I wince before I tilt my head in confusion. "But I don't understand. I mean, look at you. You're super hot, incredibly sexy, how could you still be a virgin? I mean, there's gotta be at least one person you've wanted to have sex with."

"Pfft, of course. I wanted to have sex with my ADA back when I was a cop in New York but that doesn't mean I did have sex with her."

"Then why didn't you? I'm sure she would've slept with you."

"It's not about that Casey." She says quietly finally looking at me but only for a brief moment. "It's not like that for me. Sex isn't just something you can just do and that's why I haven't had sex before."

"I don't understand…"

"Sex is supposed to be something special. It's supposed to be a shared intimate experience between two people who care deeply for each other and they're both ready. I believe it's supposed to be soft, slow, sensual and passionate love making as opposed to rough fast sex that could be sound in some porno movie. I don't believe in having sex with someone like that. It takes away from the sentimental meaning. I believe in making love, not just 'having sex'. I—I guess I've just been saving myself for that one special person who I'm willing to give everything to. I just…I want us to take things slowly. Like for real. I don't want us to be moving to fast. I want to court you in a proper way. I want to write you love letters and buy you flowers and hold your hand when we take walks. I want to take you out on dates and give you my jacket when you're cold and put my arm around you when you need me to. I just…I guess I just want us to take things slow. I suppose I'm just a little old fashioned, but when we actually do have sex, I want it to be special. I don't want my first time to be some lust induced quickie. I just want it to be special."

Wow, I honestly can't believe what I'm hearing. This is by far something that I have never ever heard before in my life. I've never had someone tell me that we're moving too fast. To be honest, there is not one person who has ever turned down sex with me when I offered it up. This is like someone is speaking to me in a foreign language and I'm not sure how to respond.

"I…wow…that's fine. I guess." I respond, sounding a little more than disappointed and here I was thought she was the one waiting for me. Ugh, this is going to be so damn frustrating from now on.

**Awww Alex is so sweet isn't she! And Casey is sooooo impatient! Lol, leavee a review :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Short chapter again, but I'm doing what I can…enjoy! **

_**Alex POV **_

"What're you thinking about?" I mumble quietly into Casey's ear. The two of us are lounging on my couch one day, and she's pressed tightly against me while our legs are twined and my arm is resting protectively around her waist. We've been lying here for probably up to an hour listening to the pouring rain outside and I can tell by her quietness that she is most definitely thinking about something.

"Nothing, I'm just tired." She says quietly after a long moment after I've asked my question. I lace our fingers together and place a gentle kiss to her ear before I lean back into the sofa.

"It might help if you talk about it." I offer up wondering just how much I might have to pry to get her to talk to me. I know for a fact that she isn't 'just tired'. I know there's something bothering her, and I want to help her but how can I do that if she won't talk to me?

She shifts on the sofa and snuggles back further into me and sighs contently as she begins playing with my fingers that are still intertwined with hers. "Nothing's wrong." She murmurs after another moment of silence.

I sigh when I realize that she's not going to tell me what's bothering her so I guess now is as good time as any to tell her what's been bothering me. Over the past month and a half we've been together, there has been something I've wanted to get off my chest, I just haven't figured out how yet.

"I think we should tell people about us." I say quietly not really seeing a way that I can dance around the subject so I just decide to dive all in. "I mean, I—I just think it'll make things better."

This causes her to sit up. When she finally turns around to face me, I wince when I don't exactly like the look that she's giving me. "Alex, that is completely out of the question." She says sternly, her tone stating that she really doesn't want to have this conversation. "We talked about this when we first started seeing each other. NO ONE, can know about this Alex."

"I know you said that but…don't you hate hiding? I mean…doesn't it make you feel kind of childish that we're sneaking around like this? I'm not saying we need to tell everyone about us, but I don't like the hiding that we're doing. When we're out during the day, I want to be able to grab your hand or kiss you, or just put my arm around you, ya know? But I can't and…I don't like it."

"That's all you want? You just want public displays? Alex, I-I can't do that, you know I can't!"

"You could…I mean…your parents know you date women, I don't see why this time would be any dif-"

"It's not the same Alex!" She exclaims as she gets up from the sofa, leaving my embrace. She paces my living room for a moment before she stops and looks at me. 'It's not the same for my parents Alex. You aren't…they wouldn't…I don't know how to…it's just not the same."

My heart sinks a little as I fully begin to comprehend what she means. I stare down at my hands and awkwardly begin twiddling my thumbs. "I'm not what they'd approve of…" I mumble knowing that's probably what she's referring to.

Casey looks at me before she sighs heavily and rakes her hand through her hair. "Alex, you know how they are. I mean, look at where we are. You're supposed to be my bodyguard and there is no telling what would happen if my father found out about what we've been doing. You will lose your job and…he'll probably disown me. I just…we can't tell anyone Alex. Why do we need to? Everything is fine."

"I know everything is fine but I just…I just want to be able to show people how much I care about you. That's all. I don't care that much about social statuses or anything. I-I'm a relatively good person…I think. I might not have nearly as much money as you do and I might not be some big name celebrity but I think that…"

"Alex, I'm going to be honest with you, and I want you to hear me out okay? This is not coming from me, but this is coming from my parents because I know my parents better than anyone else. My parents would not be happy that I'm seeing you and they most definitely would not approve of our relationship…and they wouldn't approve of you. I care about you a lot, I really do and I have really strong feelings for you but my parents we just…we can't tell them."

I slowly nod my head before I stand up and make my way over to my window. I cross my arms and stare blankly out the window as I comprehend everything I've just been told. "So I'm not good enough…" I murmur, more to my self than to anyone else.

I hear Casey sigh and soon I feel arms around my waist and lips against my neck. "Sweetheart, you're more than good enough for me. Isn't that what matters?"

"You basically just told me that I'm not good enough…I'm not good enough for your parents and I'm not good enough for you." I say before I chuckle bitterly. "You know, it's like all my life I've never been good enough for anyone. I've always felt like I've had to push myself beyond expectations because people looked at me and they already assumed that I wasn't good enough. I don't have any parents to say they'll be proud of me or anything, but what does it matter? They didn't want me. So why would your parents want me?"

"Alex, please, I'm…I'm sorry…I just…I care about you so much alright? I don't want this to get you down but you kept pushing and I…it's the truth Alex. But I don't care what they think. You're good enough for me, and I want to be with you. I'm going to be with you."

I sigh quietly to myself before I shake my head again. I'm silent for a long moment before I allow my muscles to relax from their stiffness. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to snap. I just…I want to be what you need, and I know I can't be everything, but I want to try."

Casey moves around to where she is facing me and she leans up to place a gentle but loving kiss to my lips and I can't help but smile. "You're what I need, and you can't ever say that no one has ever been proud of you. Kate is proud of you." she says encouragingly before chuckling. "I'm proud of you, mainly because you put up with me."

I can't help but smile at the cute little grin she's giving me. I lean down and steal a quick kiss before I wrap my arms around her. I still feel like I want people to know about our relationship, but somehow, Casey makes me forget all my problems for the time being.

* * *

_**Casey POV **_

I stare at the paper for a long moment to double check that I've got the right address. I look back up at the large mansion and see that it is in fact the correct address, but I just can't help but feel like I'm in the wrong place.

I get out of my red mustang and shift my purse on my arm as I make my way up the large stone walkway to the mansion. It reminds me of the house I grew up in as a child. Large with several wings, several bedrooms, infinite bathrooms, you name it, this house probably has it.

I know that I probably shouldn't be doing this, and it took everything I had to let my father agree to let me take a 'road trip' with Kim and Serena without any guards. Only thing is, I left my two besties back at the hotel and they have no clue that I'm here, so I didn't lie…technically.

As I reach the front porch, I take a deep breath before I reach out and hesitantly ring the doorbell. The doorbell chimes in the house and I can't help but continue to admire it's eloquence from the outside. I'm waiting for another moment and I'm about to ring it again when I hear the locks turning on the other side.

I thin blonde girl opens the door, and she looks to be about fourteen or fifteen at the most. She eyes me with genuine curiosity before she crosses her arms over her chest in an all to familiar manner. "Can I help you?"

I shakily nod my head and look down at the paper in my hands. Here we go, moment of truth. I just hope this doesn't backfire in my face.

"Actually, yes. Does Veronica Cabot live here?"

**Little bit of a cliffhanger there. Hope you enjoyed! Leave your feedback! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: FINALLY. My internet has been fixed and thankfully it has been fixed sooner than it was predicted! Sorry for the wait, and thanks for your guys' patience! Chapter for you. Hope you enjoy it! **

_**Casey POV **_

"Um, yeah, that's my Mom. She's in the family room." The girl responds as she motions for me to enter the house. Wow this house is even bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside. As I'm gazing up at the ceiling art and whatnot, the girl gets my attention again.

"Who are you exactly? If you don't mind me asking that is. I probably should've asked before I let you in huh?" she rambles on before shrugging. "Well anyway, you look _a lot_ like the president's daughter, but…"

I chuckle quietly and flash her a smile. "Actually, that's exactly who I am." I giggle before holding out my hand. "I'm Casey."

"Oh my god, I can't believe it's actually you." she beams in amazement as she shakes my hand. "My names McKenzie but I usually just go by Kenzie." She finishes as she leads me to what I assume is one of many family rooms on this house.

As we enter the room I see a woman seated on the couch reading the newspaper. She doesn't look to be elderly or anything. I don't now why I expected her to be much older than she actually is. I guess I could've paid more attention to her age.

Finding these people was no easy task, let me tell you. It took a hell of a lot of digging, a hell of a lot of begging, and a hell of a lot of probably restricted investigating to find them but I did, and here we are!

"Hey Mom, there's someone here to see you." Kenzie says before she plops down onto the couch in a teenage fashion. Ah, I know exactly how that felt. Being a rich, spoiled only child who always got what it was she wanted.

The woman, who I am now assuming is Veronica, puts down her newspaper and glances at her daughter before she makes eye contact with me. She puts on a bright smile and stands up from her couch before she offers her hand to me.

"Hello, I'm Veronica Cabot." She says nicely as I shake her hand. "What can I do for you?"

"A-actually Mrs. Cabot, there is something I want to speak to you about. I'm Casey Novak." I reply with the manners that my own mother taught me.

"Novak? Any relations to the president?"

"Yes Ma'am. He's my father."

I see a brief look of surprise flash on her face but as soon as it's there, it's gone. She nods her head and her smile returns. "I see, won't you have a seat?" she motions towards the couch with her hand and we both sit. She looks towards her daughter and gives her a silent excuse before the teen nods in response and leaves us alone. "So what can I do for you? May I ask what is so important that I'm getting a personal visit from the first daughter?"

I fold the papers back into my purse and begin to attempt to hide my nerves. "Um, well…it's…it might be a little personal for you, and if you don't wish to speak about it, I'll completely understand."

This time the look on her face is slight curiosity. Her brow furrows in wonder and now I fully realize how much Alex looks like her mother. "Is it serious? My husband, Robert, he's out of town for business at the moment, but I could call him if need be."

"No Ma'am, that's quite alright. Speaking with you is just fine." I stammer slightly before I take a shaky deep breath. "May I ask you how old McKenzie is?"

"She will be sixteen this coming October." She responds with a small nod and I realize that Alex would've probably been ten when her sister was born. "She's been our only child."

"Are you sure about that?"

I can tell that my question takes her completely off guard by the way her head snaps up to meet my gaze and she frowns in deep confusion. "I'm not sure I understand where you're going with this." she says sternly almost as if she's trying to convince herself.

I look down at my nervously wringing hands and take another deep breath. "Um…perhaps when you were younger, did you maybe give up a child that you could've had approximately ten years ago?" I ask curiously.

She turns her head away from me and stares intently at the wall. Her posture is rigid and she seems to be going over a thousand things in her mind on what to say. "I might have." She says before she takes a quite noticeable deep breath. "Why is that relevant to anything?"

"Do you know what happened to that child?" I ask softly, trying to get her to open up. We sit in a heavy silence for about five minutes before I start to speak again. "Mrs. Cabot, I understand this might be hard for you and if you don't wish to talk about it I can just go and…"

"No, no. I suppose that it's time that I stop running from the truth and face it." she says before she takes another much needed deep breath. "Robert and I have known each other for a very long time. We started seeing each other romantically probably around the start of high school and we've been together ever since. Robert, being a Cabot, he came from a very wealthy family. 'Old Money' as I should say. Me; not so much. So it wasn't exactly 'appropriate' for us to be together; but we didn't care. We were young and a little foolish at the time. Robert and I were fooling around once and I got pregnant at a very young age. I found out that I was pregnant when I was sixteen and to be honest, I was mortally terrified. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I knew that Robert hadn't come into his funds yet because we were still so young, and to be honest, I was literally afraid to tell him. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to hide it forever, so I told him. He was probably just as afraid as I am; the only thing is, he didn't want our baby. I admit, we were young and we were foolish, but I didn't want anything to happen to my baby. It was baby, you know? Anyway, the word got to our parents and his were furious. My mother was upset with me for getting pregnant, but she sympathized with me because she was sexually assaulted at a young age and that's where I came from. Roberts's parents were beyond furious and they threatened to disown him if he was involved with a child at such a young age. None of that mattered to me anyway because he made it clear that he didn't want have anything to do with our baby. My mother and I were very poor but she didn't believe in abortions. As much as I tried to convince myself other wise, both my mother and I knew that there was no way we would be able to support a baby on our own with out Robert's support. So, I went through my pregnancy and I had the baby. She was the most beautiful baby girl and sometimes I feel like I'm still back in that hospital bed holding her in my arms for the time that I could because I knew that any moment they would be in there to take her away from me. I begged and pleaded because I didn't want to give her up. I wanted to do everything that I could to keep her but I knew that it was nearly impossible. Before they took her away from me, Robert came, and I'm not going to lie when I say he looked a little more than disgusted. I sat there with his daughter in my arms, and he didn't even want to hold her. Before they came to take her away, I begged and pleaded for them to let me name her. I-I knew that it wasn't protocol, but I just…I really wanted to give her a name because I knew I could never see her and be her mother like I was supposed to. They let me name her, and I named her Alexandra Elizabeth. I just looked at Robert and after a moment, he allowed me to at least give her his last name. They took her away after that. I of course couldn't sign her birth certificate, but wherever she was going, I just wanted her to already have her name. I've never really spoken about it in a while. Robert and I eventually rebuilt our relationship and we got married. When he entertained the thought of having a child, I was a little more than pained, but of course I didn't say anything. So…now we have McKenzie. All I can say is that I hope Alexandra went to a well loving family."

My heart breaks after hearing this story come from Alex's mother. I duck my head and clear my throat as I awkwardly rub the back of my neck. "She…was never adopted. She grew up in an orphanage and now she's working for my father as my protective detail. She works for the secret service."

I see tears well up in her eyes and she puts her hand over her mouth. "You've…you know her? You've…you've seen her?"

"Yes Ma'am…I'm…I'm actually seeing her...romantically. That's why I decided to search for you. To see if I could get some answers I guess." I explain with a small shrug.

"What's she like?" she asks as she frantically leans over to the coffee table to retrieve a photo book. She flips through the book for a moment before she opens it and points to a man who I am assuming is Mr. Cabot. "This is Robert. Does she look like her father? Does she look like him?"

I look at the picture before I chuckle quietly and shake my head. "No Ma'am. She looks exactly like you and I'm positive when Alex was sixteen she probably looked a lot like Kenzie does now. You carried strong genes to both of your daughters." I explain before I remember her first question. "Alex is amazing. She's loving and sweet but at the same time, she's downright fearless and will risk her life for something she cares about. But at the same time, she does have confidence issues. She's confident professionally but I can sort of tell that she's not very confident in herself. If she thinks she makes a mistake, she'll mumble to her self about not being good enough until she does it right. She doesn't think she's good enough for a lot of things but I think that comes from her growing up alone. Although she won't admit it to me, I can tell that Alex struggles a little with abandonment issues. But as I said before, it's a little understandable."

"And it's all my fault. I'm the source to all of her issues because I wasn't there like I was supposed to be." Mrs. Cabot says before her voice cracks and she begins to sob quietly. "I've never spoken about this to anyone else you know. Robert and his family pretend that it never happened and it's like Alexandra doesn't even exist to any of them, so I don't talk about it. He told me once that he doesn't want McKenzie knowing that she has a sister."

"I have a sister?"

Oh crap. This is not what I had expected to happen and I most certainly do not want to be caught up into the exposing of what is probably this family's biggest secret of all time.

Mrs. Cabot's surprised gaze snaps towards her youngest daughter and she honestly looks like a deer caught in the headlights. "You know too much now dear. Go to your room McKenzie."

"No, Mom, I want to know what's going on." The teen says as she fully steps into the family room from where she probably heard us in passing. "I have a sister? Where is she? What happened to her? How come I've never known about her?"

"I had to give her up because I was very young when I had her…" Mrs. Cabot explains quietly before making eye contact again. "McKenzie you won't understand…"

I see what looks like anger brewing in McKenzie's eyes. "No, what I understand is that you just gave her away! Just like that? Did you not want her or something?!"

"God no! Of course I wanted her. She was my child…she IS my child. I would never 'not want her'. You have to understand that I had no choice. Your father and his family weren't going to support me because we were so young and my mother and I couldn't afford to have a baby! Hell, that was proven when my sisters were born. I did not want to give her up, I didn't, but I didn't have any other choice."

"So this was Dad's fault?! How old is she supposed to be?"

"She should be twenty six right now." Mrs. Cabot responds quietly.

The look in McKenzie's eyes is deadly and she shakes her head as she scoffs bitterly. "Wow. You know, if Dad wasn't so set on having a baby, why did the two of you even have me in the first place?" she spits before she storms out of the room leaving a tense silence in her wake.

You know what's pretty bad about all of this? I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. Am I supposed to just leave with this information and pretend this didn't happen, or am I supposed to tell Alex that I found her parents? How would Alex take it if she finds out her parents have another child and she has a sister? Would her father even care about meeting her?

There are just TOO many questions!

**Ohhh snap, what has Casey gotten her self into? What do YOU guys think Casey should do? Leave your feedback! **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Another chapter, because I did keep you waiting for so long and you all asked so nicely. Enjoy!**

_**Casey POV **_

I'm sure that my quietness is making Alex a little more than concerned. Ever since I've arrived at her apartment, I haven't exactly said two words because I can't help but think about how I was actually able to find her parents. A little part of me knows that I probably do need to tell her, but truth be told, I'm afraid of her reaction. I don't know what she's going to say, how she's going to feel, how she'll just react in general.

Since we are in a relationship, we do need to be honest with each other right? But does that still apply even if it's something that I might be protecting her from by not telling her? I mean, think about it. She had absolutely no idea that I had actually been searching for her parents, and she hasn't mentioned anything to me about it, you know? Like, we haven't talked about stuff like what she would say to them if she met them, or if she's ever really tried to look for them, which I don't really think she has. We haven't sat down and she hasn't wondered what her parents were probably like. She just hasn't asked, and it makes me wonder if she even wants to know anything about them at all.

We are sitting in the ledge spacious of one of her wall length windows watching the amazing view of the city down below us. She has her arms wrapped protectively around my waist as I lean back and let the back of my head rest against her shoulder.

"You're doing that quiet thing again." She murmurs before leaning down and pressing a kiss to my cheek.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I respond as I know exactly what she's talking about but clearly I'm trying to play off the question.

"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about." Alex states as she unwraps her arms from my waist and moves to where she is sitting in front of me, eyeing me with general curiosity and concern. "What's wrong? Talk to me?"

I nervous bite down on my lower lip and turn my head back towards the window. I guess now will be as good a time as any to tell her right? I know she's relaxed and not stressed over anything in particular, so it does seem like a really good time. I don't really know how to start this though. Oh well, I'll just start from the beginning, play the rest by ear, and hope I don't end up fucking everything up in the process.

"I was just thinking about my trip that I took with Kim and Rena…" I mumbles as I decide that I'm going to casually lead into the topic of interest and not just blurt it out there.

Alex smiles and nods her head as she recalls my trip that I took with my best friends. "Oh yeah, you said that you had fun in Boston right? Sounds like it was fun. Guess you really needed that 'relaxing time' like you claimed, huh?"

I shakily nod my head and cast my gaze back over to the window as I nervously begin twirling a strand of my hair around my finger. "Yeah, it was fun. But…I kind of had…other reasons for wanting to travel to Boston." I trail off before I turn to look at her and take a much needed deep breath because I'm honestly terrified of what I am about to do. "Listen, I…I know that I probably wasn't supposed to do this but I just…please don't be mad okay?"

"Why would I be mad? What have you done…?" she questions cautiously. Obviously the look of nervousness and hesitation is written all over my pretty little face.

I swallow the thick lump in my throat and drop my head down towards my hands. "I, ah, had been doing a little bit of searching for a while and…I um…well…I kind of found your parents." I mumble, hoping that she didn't hear me, but damn if she doesn't have the hearing of a bat.

The silence that follows my statement is deadly and I can literally feel her eyes staring at me intently with out even having to look up. Finally, I risk a chance at looking up to meet her gaze to find the blankest expression I've ever seen before in my life; especially from her.

"Listen, Alex, I now that I probably shouldn't have but please don't be mad." I say softly as I see her eyes starting to cloud over in anger; something that I most definitely did not want to see.

She snaps her gaze back to the window and refuses the look at me anymore as she clenches her jaw tightly. "Why." she grounds out through clenched teeth after another moment of this terrifying silence.

"Why? Because they're your parents Al, and…"

"No, why did you feel the need to look for them?"

Oh. That's what she meant by 'why'. "Because I…you're so sad sometimes and I think it's because…Alex I just wanted to help. I just thought I was helping."

"Well you weren't." she snaps at me before she looks at me again which causes me to flinch back a little. "You should not have done that." she snaps again before she moves away from the window ledge and begins quickly pacing around the room.

"Al, why?" I plead quietly as I stand up and cautiously move over to her. She stops her pacing abruptly and stares at me angrily before she tightly folds her arms. "You could find out so much now if you wanted to. Haven't you ever thought of what it would be like to know your parents?"

"And what if I haven't?" she snaps again, her tone and volume rising slightly to something I've never even expected from her. She's angry but I can tell she's struggling to keep calm.

"You really have never thought about your parents? Think about it, you can finally find out who you are and where you come from. Don't you want that?"

"I already know who I am and I know I came from a family that didn't even care about me enough to want me."

"You don't know that." I retort softly trying not to provoke her already brewing anger. Unfortunately, I fail.

"AND YOU DO?!" She shouts, which takes me completely off guard. I've never heard her shout before and something tells me that this is just the 'calm' side of her anger.

I sigh quietly and try to reach out to her but she snatches away from me. "Alex please calm down. I was only trying to help. Don't you even care that you could actually talk to your real parents? This could be your chance at having a family Alex, so you won't have to worry about being alone all the time."

Alex snorts bitterly and shakes her head defiantly. "Why in the hell would I want to have a 'family' with the people who didn't even want me to begin with? Why would I go and set my self up for more abandonment and rejection? They didn't want me to begin with so why would they want me now?"

"That's not true. Your mother and sister really seem to-"

"SISTER?!"

I probably should not have said that but in my defense she was yelling at me and my brain has suddenly decided to go on autopilot. I just stand stationary with my mouth shut tight, completely terrified to say anything else.

"How old is she." She asks quietly, narrowing her eyes deathly when she sees that I haven't answer. "HOW OLD IS SHE!?"

"Fifteen…" I murmur before I drop my head to shamefully look at my shoes. This is not how I hoped this conversation would turn out. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all to begin with.

Alex laughs humorlessly, bitterly, and her tone is just oozing with venom. "Great! So they don't want me, but almost ten years later they decide that they want to have another kid; obviously because I already wasn't good enough for them."

"Alex please, it's not like that. I just…I think you should go and talk to them. Maybe you'll find out some answers to questions that I know you might have. It might help you with your confidence among other things. I don't have to go with you I just…I just think it'll help you."

The next thing I don't see coming at all. She stands completely still for a moment before she grunts irritably and throws her fist roughly into the wall next to her. The sound sounds like a bat meeting drywall and it actually causes me to flinch a little simply because it took me completely off guard.

* * *

_**Alex POV **_

I stand completely still and stare at Casey for a moment before my anger gets the best of me and I soon find my self roughly punching my wall. I'm so angry right now that it doesn't even hurt as my fist makes a hole clean through the drywall leaving a quite obvious indention.

"Why couldn't you have just stayed out of my damn business!?" I shriek angrily. My voice cracks on the tale end of my demand and I soon realize that I have tears running down my cheeks. Deep down I guess I know that I'm not really angry with Casey, but I'm angry with what she's done along with several other emotions that are going through my head right now.

She cautiously approaches me and I allow her to grab my hand and lead me towards the bathroom in silence. I say absolutely nothing as she turns on the sink and runs cold water over my hand that is now starting to bruise nastily. She carefully massages my knuckles before she opens the cabinet and pulls out the first aid kit.

I stare silently into space as she applies some kind of ointment to my hand and then begins to wrap it in an ace bandage. Now I suddenly feel like I've gone numb. I feel like my head has been filled with cotton and there is a thick brick in the center of my throat prohibiting me from speaking words.

When Casey leads us to my bedroom, it's finally when the floodgates open. I sit down on the edge of my bed; drop my head into my hands, and just cry. Believe me when I say that I am not a person who cries regularly, at all. There is almost never a moment where I begin to cry…except this.

As Casey rubs soothing circles on my back, I can't help but think about how unfair this is. What is it that I did as a newborn that made my parents not even want to keep me? What did my so called 'sister' do differently as a newborn that I apparently didn't do? Was I an ugly baby? Did I cry to much when I was born? I just want to know what it is that I did.

Images flood through my mind of what my parents could have possibly looked like while holding my newborn sister. How they were probably happy to see her enter this world. How they probably looked at her like she was the most beautiful baby to ever be placed on this earth. How she's what they've always wanted. Then I think of how they probably looked at me with disgust before they handed me away, saying that they didn't want me because I wasn't good enough.

"What if they didn't want me because I was a mistake Case." I whimper quietly, thoroughly ashamed at crying in front of Casey.

"Honey, you aren't a mistake." Casey responds quietly as she tries to turn my head to look at her. I want to, but I just can't bring myself to look her in the eyes right now. "Alex, listen to me, you aren't a mistake."

"I want to believe you…but what other reason could they have for not wanting me?" I say before I sit up fully and scoff before shaking my head. "You know what's funny? When I was a child growing up, I would draw pictures of what I imagined my parents were like. All of the other kids would look at me strange because I some how had it in my head that my parents were going to come back for me. I think I was thirteen when I realized no one was coming. Adoption days really sucked because all of them turned out the same. No one would really ever spare me a second glance and the families I did have a chance to talk to never adopted me. Do you now how hard it was seeing the other children you've befriended get adopted by loving families and you're the odd one out? It hurt, a lot. When I was smaller I would tell myself that no one adopted me because they some how knew my real parents would be looking for me if they did. As I got older, I guess I just started making more sense of things. I grew up alone and I've pretty much been alone all my life Casey. If they didn't want me back then, they don't want me now, and I'm not setting my self up to relive that kind of pain in my twenties. I've had enough of that as a child."

I look over to Casey and I see that she has her own tears running down her face. "Why are you crying?" I ask as I reach over and wipe her tears with my thumb. "Please don't cry. Don't cry for me, please."

She shakes her head before she moves forward and gently presses her lips against my own. The kiss is salty from our commingled tears but sweet all at the same time.

"I love you." she whispers as she gently breaks the kiss.

I place another chaste kiss to her lips, momentarily forgetting all of my problems and my anguish. I don't know what it is, but there is something about Casey that makes me forget, and that's exactly what I need right now.

"I love you too."

**I'm not gonna lie…I cried writing this chapter. And it wasn't just like one little tear either, I like had to stop and sit here for a moment before I could continue on. If I have that effect on my self when I'm writing I can only imagine what I do to you guys! Lol, anyway, don't forget to pay a visit to that review button! **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Next chapter for you guys. Hope you enjoy ;)**

_**Casey POV **_

"Casey, I—I think I'm ready."

Alex's words take me completely by surprise one day as she breaks our heated and passionate kiss. I've thought about what it would be like when she finally says those words but I guess now that she's actually said them I really don't know what to say.

"Al, are you sure?" I respond quietly as I search her eyes for confirmation. "We don't have to rush in to anything. I mean, if you aren't ready then that's fine."

Alex places a nervous yet gentle kiss to my lips before responding. "No, I'm ready." She says quietly letting me know that she really means what she's saying.

I nod my head before I take her hand in my own and stand up from the couch. In all honesty, I'm probably just as nervous as she is about this right now, but I'm determined to make this a memorable moment for the both of us. I give her hand a reassuring squeeze as we enter her bedroom.

"You sure you're ready." I ask again as I slowly wrap my arms around her neck. I don't want her to feel like this is something that she's obligated to do, no matter how bad and how long I've been wanting her. I can always wait, but if she isn't really ready, I don't want to take this away from her.

"I'm positive." She whispers before she places her hands on my hips and brings our lips together. The kiss is slow yet gentle and it slowly begins to lose its innocence as time continues to pass on. "I've never done this before." She murmurs quietly when we need to break away to breathe.

"It'll be perfect." I respond as I give her another chaste kiss before I move my lips to her neck. I slowly trail my kisses up the outline of her jaw and down her neck until I reach her pulse point where I begin to suck lightly. I smirk against her skin when I hear her pleasurable moan and my fingers slowly begin to work on the buttons of her shirt.

As I finish off the last button I lightly trail my nails over her toned abdominal muscles that I've been pretty much dying to touch. "Working out has been good to you hasn't it?" I chuckle lowly as I begin to guide us backwards towards the bed. I straddle her waist and smile before I lean down to capture her lips in my own. "Good god, you're so sexy."

As I deepen our kiss, I can feel her hands nervously beginning to wander but soon she's tugging at the hem of my shirt, silently beckoning for me to remove it. I moan into her mouth before I reluctantly pull away and look down at her again noting the curiosity in her eyes.

"Can I…?" she says quietly, stilling her hands as if to make sure that what she's doing is okay. I nod my head and raise my arms, allowing her to remove my shirt which leaves me in my lacy purple bra. I shudder involuntarily as she runs her hands up my sides and pulls me down for another kiss.

This is different than anything I've ever done before. It's slow and sensual, not lust induced and needy like most of my sexual encounters. Then again, I can say that I've never had sex with someone who has never had sex before, but my intent is to not ruin thing for the both of us.

While we are busying ourselves with slow, sensual kisses, I reach behind Alex and skillfully unfasten her bra clasps with one hand. I pull away from our kiss and silently ask her for permission before she nods and allows me to slide the garment down her arms. I carelessly toss it over the edge of the bed because I'm so focused on admiring her breast that are now exposed to me. Oh my god, she is by far the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

"Is something wrong?" she asks quietly after a long moment and I realize that I've probably been caught ogling for far too long.

"No, of course not." I respond with a quick shake of my head. "You're just so beautiful." I murmur before I lean down and take one of her nipples into my mouth. I hear her gasp but the breathy gasp soon turns into a quite moan as I lightly scrape my teeth against the bud and use my hand to gently tweak and massage the other.

"Oh god, Casey." She groans as I skillfully begin alternating between her breasts and I can tell that it's turning her on by the second judging by the way she's shifting uncomfortably in her pants. "Please Casey…"

I release her nipple with a pop and smirk when I see her flushed and needy expression. I slowly and teasingly move my hand down between us and cup her through her pants which causes her to inhale sharply. "Do you need me to touch you?"

Alex closes her eyes and tries and fails miserably to calm her breathing as I apply a little more pressure to where I know she needs me most. "Y-yes, p-please." She whimpers and I smirk again as I slowly begin the teasing task of removing her pants. "God, you're such a tease."

"I think you're just easily turned on." I reply smugly before I lean in and kiss her again. God, she's soaked, and it's all for me. She sure knows how to boost a girl's ego doesn't she?

I move away from her lips and I slowly begin to kiss my way down her body down towards here she needs me most. "Is this okay?" I ask, raising my head to look up at her to see if she wants me to stop. Judging by the way she's biting her lip and tightly clutching the sheets, I guess that means she doesn't, but I can also clearly see that she's still nervous. After a moment, she shakily nods her head, silently telling me that I can go on.

I hook my fingers into her already soaked panties and slowly slide them down her well toned thighs. The scent of her arousal hits me immediately, and I feel a new wave of heat surge through my own body. I lean down and lightly begin to place soft kisses up the inside of her thighs until I am come to her glistening bundle of nerves.

I lick my lips hungrily before I run my tongue through her slick folds which causes her hips to arch off the bed. She even tastes amazing and I soon greedily dive back in for more.

The sounds that are coming from Alex's mouth are almost animal like as I continue to simulate her with my tongue. I gently wrap my lips around her clit and suck before I realize just how much she's teetering over the cliff. I release her and climb back up towards her lips where I kiss her and let her taste herself on my tongue.

"If you want me to stop, tell me." I say quietly and reassuringly as I position my fingers over her entrance. Even though she is pretty much soaked, I know that it still might be a little uncomfortable at first because it's her first time.

* * *

_**Alex POV **_

I shakily nod my head as I feel Casey's fingers hovering over my entrance. To say that I'm nervous would be a complete understatement. As I mentioned earlier, I am a virgin which means that I've never had sex before…with anyone. I love Casey enough to allow her to take my virginity, but that still doesn't mean I can't be nervous.

I can't hide the whimper that escapes my lips as she slowly pushes a finger inside of me. I'm not gonna lie, it does hurt a little and I small tear makes it's way down my cheek as she begins to find a slow but steady rhythm. Soon, the pain turns into complete bliss and I can't help but moan in pleasure as she picks up her pace and adds another finger.

She connects our lips again as she begins to go deeper and deeper with each thrust, taking me to a high that I've never felt before in my life. I feel like there is a coil in my stomach that is tightening more and more with each of her movements and I know that I probably won't be able to last much longer.

With a few more thrusts I find myself seeing stars and screaming her name as I reach my peak and begin to slowly spiral down back to earth. She helps me ride out my orgasm before she removes her fingers from me and then makes a show of licking them clean. God, that has by far got to be the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my life.

"Are you okay?" she asks quietly as she hovers over me before giving me a gentle and passionate kiss. I can taste myself in her mouth and honestly, it does turn me on again.

"You were perfect." I murmur against her lips before I wrap my arms tightly around her waist and flip us over on the mattress. Now it's time for Miss Novak to find out that I am in fact a very fast learner.

I wake up the next morning to an empty bed other than myself. Call me crazy, but I could've sworn that I fell asleep with an amazingly beautiful redhead in my arms the night before. Slight disappointment begins to set in as I sit up and glance around the room, but it quickly dissipates when I hear noises and smell the smell of food coming from my kitchen.

I climb out of bed and stretch before I make my way over to my dresses where I pull on an old t-shirt and a pair of old boxer shorts. I tie my hair up into a messy ponytail as I make my way out of my bedroom, through the living room, and into the kitchen where I see the most beautiful woman in the world busying her self with my stove.

The dampness over her hair gives it a blood red looking hue, as she is clad in only one of my oversized t-shirts. I wrap my arms around her waist from behind and nuzzle her neck where I inhale the scent of my own body wash and shampoo. It smells pretty good on her.

"Are you wearing my underwear…" I murmur before I gently begin placing soft kisses to her neck.

I can tell that she's blushing without even having to turn her around. "Maybe…" she replies before she spins in my arms and gives me a loving kiss. "Good morning to you too."

"It'll always be a good morning if I have you to wake up to." I reply as I press my lips against hers yet again. "You look so damn sexy wearing my clothes…." I pause before a smug grin spreads across my face. "But you look even sexier wearing nothing at all."

Casey rolls her eyes before she playfully swats my shoulder and pushes me towards the table. "You are such a perv. Now, go sit. I made you breakfast."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise as I sit down at my table and she sits a plate down in front of me. "Pancakes, eggs, bacon, hash browns…where did you learn to cook?" I ask in surprise as she places a glass of orange juice in front of me before she goes to retrieve her own plate and juice to join me.

"I guess that's just a secret I'll have to keep from you." she teases smugly before she takes a bite of her own food.

I roll my eyes at her smugness before I take a bite of my pancakes. "Oh my god, Case, these taste amazing. I might have you come over and cook for me more often." I respond cheekily before taking another bite. This woman is a goddess.

We eat in silence for a lengthy moment before she puts down her fork and stares at me sincerely. "Baby, I really think that you should go and see your parents." She says quietly.

I pause with my fork in mid air and I stare at her for the longest of times before I put my fork back down on my plate. I sigh heavily and push my food around as I shake my head in disagreement. "Case, we've talked about this…"

"I know we have. But just hear me out okay?" she begs, continuing on before I have the chance to cut her off. "I realize you're scared, and I realize you're angry, but I think that it could really help you. You can get answers to all of those questions we've talked about and you can find out about where you came from."

"What if they reject me again?" I question quietly. It's the same question that's been running through my mind ever since she told me that she found my parents. They didn't want me before, so what reasons do I have to believe they want me now?

"Then they reject you, but at least you would have tried. Something tells me that they won't. I just think you should talk to them. I can go with you and…"

"I'm not going…"

"What?"

I stand up from my chair and take my empty plate to the sink. "I said I'm not going. I'm sorry Casey, but all my life I've been disappointed in the fact that I don't have a family. I'm not going to take a chance on the fact that they might not want me around again."

I hear her sigh quietly as she stands up and drapes her arms over my shoulders. "I love you, you know that?" she mumbles as she rests her head on my shoulder.

"I know…I love you too baby." I respond as I hold her close to me and gently comb my fingers through her hair. "I love you too."

It's been two and a half weeks since our first time together and Casey and I have spent pretty much every night together ever since then. There are moments in the day that she'll start trying to convince me to go see my parents again, but the outcome is always the same. I don't get why she doesn't understand that this isn't something I want to do?

"Hey Cabot," The voice behind me startles me and I spin around to see Kate giving me an apologetic smile. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"Its fine." I murmur even though I am a little embarrassed at freaking out for being snuck up on. "What's up?"

"Actually, I'm relaying a message. The president wants to see you." She says firmly before nodding. "Immediately."

I swallow thickly and I'm pretty sure that I look like I deer caught in the headlights right about now. "Me? What did I do?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing. Anyway, you better hurry. Something tells me he's not in the mood to be kept waiting." Kate informs me before sending me another apologetic look and walking off.

I swallow thickly once again and finally I'm able to force my legs move towards the president's office. I'm telling the god honest truth when I say that I am most definitely taking my time in getting there. I don't think I'm as intimidated by the fact that the president that wants to see me, but it's also Casey's father.

I reach his office a little faster than I had intended and I hesitantly knock on the door where I am immediately received with a terse 'come in'. I take a much needed deep breath as my hand shakily turns the door handle and I step into the brightly lit office. My eyes land on him immediately and he's staring at me with intense green eyes that identically match Casey's when she's upset.

"Y-you wanted to see me, Sir?" I question as I cautiously approach his desk. His gaze follows me until I've become completely still and I can tell that he definitely isn't going to offer me the chance to sit.

He stares at me for a long time and says absolutely nothing. I'm not going to interrupt his train of thought or anything, but I'm seriously wondering why the hell he's staring at me like that.

"I'm sure if you think long and hard about it, you'll be able to figure out why I've called you here." he begins as he clears his throat before continuing. "But I'm going to save both of us time and I'll just cut to the point. I know about you and Casey."

I feel like a three thousand pound weight has been dropped on my head and I can't even tell you what my face probably looks like right now. "S-sir, I'm not sure that I…"

"DON'T. Try to play me for a fool. Who do you think you are?"

"Sir…I-I know you're upset but…"

"I did NOT hire you to seduce and take advantage of my daughter."

My eyes widen and I quickly shake my head at his accusation. "Mr. President, if you'll let me explain…I did not, and would not ever take advantage of her. I love your daughter, Sir. I would never do anything to disrespect her."

He quickly stands up from his chair and places his palms flat on his desk. "I didn't call you in here to listen to your useless pleas; I called you in here to tell you what IS going to happen. What ever this 'thing' is between you and Casey is, is going to stop, do you understand?"

"I understand Sir, but if you'd just let me explain…"

"This is nonnegotiable. I will not let you continue to take advantage of my daughter. If you go behind my back and do so, there will not be a fast food restaurant in the country that will even consider hiring you. I can give, but I can also take away. Have I made myself clear?"

I sigh quietly and nod my head in defeat. "Yes Sir. I understand. I'm sorry if I've been an inconvenience to you and your family. I meant no disrespect."

He stares at me before he closes his eyes and shakes his head. "You can go." He says flatly before sitting back down at his desk.

I waste no time in getting out of his office. As soon as I'm in the corridor, I lean against the wall and drop my head into my hands. I'm not going to cry; especially not at work, but that doesn't mean I'm not upset.

Why can't anything ever go good for me?

**Gee, Alex just can't seem to catch a break anywhere huh? Damn. Leave your feedback? **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Another tear jerker chapter. I promise. If you don't cry on this one then…you're probably made of stone, lol. Anyway, here's the next chapter. **

_**Casey POV **_

"Mom, it's not even that big of a deal." I say for probably the fiftieth time since my mother has started talking to me.

"It's a big deal Casey because your father is very upset at the moment." Mom replies before she looks at me with general concern. "Casey, be honest with me. Did she force you into doing anything?"

"God, Mom, No! She didn't!" I scream my irritation evident in my voice and tone. "Alex would never force me into doing anything that I didn't want to. I love her Mom. I don't know why Dad is so upset about this. I love Alex and she loves me. What's the big deal."

My mother sighs and runs her fingers through her long crimson red hair; something that I'm grateful that I inherited from her. I don't think I would like right as a brunette like my father. "Casey, you know why this is wrong. Alex isn't…what your father would approve of for you, you know that. Not to mention your…relationship…is completely controversial and unprofessional. Look, I only want what is best for you, you know that, but your father is really upset about this. I personally think that it would be in your best interest to comply to his wishes.

I snort humorlessly and stand up from the table. "Is he ready for me?" I throw over my shoulder with every intention of barging into my father's office, whether or not he's busy. I storm down the corridor and barge through the door, making sure I slam it behind me to let him know that I'm upset.

"I see that your Mom told you I needed to speak with you." he says, far to calmly for my liking.

I scowl at him and fold my arms tightly across my chest as I stomp up to his desk. "Daddy, why are you being so difficult about this? Why can't you understand that Alex and I are in love?"

He sighs dismissively and shakes his head with a waft of his hand. "Casey, you know that you can do better. Why are you wasting time with this?"

"Because I love her Daddy, and she loves me."

"It's just a phase that will pass." He says once again in that dismissive tone of his. He's determined to get what he wants on this but I'm determined not to give it to him. "She was being completely unprofessional but it has been handled."

My eyes widen and I glare at him in shock. "What do you mean by 'it's been handled'?! Did you fire her?!"

Daddy looks at me and shakes his head before his gaze turns cold. "No, but do I need to?"

"Dad, no, that's…ugh…why are you being like this?! I'm all she has Dad. I can't abandon her not after everything she's been through. I can't do it."

"Nonsense. You will move past this phase." He continues on as he walks out from around his desk and places his hands on my shoulders. "Now in the mean time we will discuss your wedding."

Pause. Wedding? What the fuck is he talking about? Why have I not heard about this until just now? "What? Wedding? Daddy I…what are you talking about?"

He smiles at me as if it's the most obvious thing in the world and I'm just being plain old silly. "Yes, wedding. You're getting married sweetheart. Jacob is a very lovely young man and he will be just perfect for you."

"Jacob?!" I screech as I'm assuming he's referring to Jacob DuVall, the vice president's son. "Dad, Jacob and I hardly know each other, why in the hell are we getting married when we hardly even know each other?! And since when do you get to decide what I want and who I can love? I love Alex Daddy, please understand."

"Again, it's nonsense for you to speak that way." He says sternly, giving me that look that says I WILL be dismissing the subject. "It has already been arranged for you to be married to Jacob. As I said before, he's perfect for you. He's charming, handsome, he comes from money. He will be good both for your personal life as well as your image."

I groan and pinch the bridge of my nose in an attempt to sooth my brewing headache. "Daddy this is ridiculous. Is this why you're marrying me off to Jacob? Because Alex isn't good enough for me?"

"I didn't say that."

"You're thinking it."

Daddy stares at me for another moment before he sighs and runs his hand through his dark hair. "Sweetheart, I only want what's best for you, and I believe that Jacob is exactly what you need. In all honesty, no, I don't think that Alex is suitable for you. She's not what you need or relatively close to being in your league. She can't take care of you like she should be able to. As I said before, I only want what's best for my little girl. I'm being graciously generous by not firing her as I should have already."

Tears sting my eyes and I shake my head at his words. "How can you say that? Alex needs me Daddy, I can't just…leave her."

"She has a job to do and that is the ONLY thing that she will be doing." he says flatly and I know that I'm losing the battle. "You will do this Cassandra. It has already been decided. It is time that you find a loving partner who is worthy of you as well as have the ability to support you like they should. Like I said, it has already been decided and as my daughter, you will comply to these decisions."

I swallow the lump in my throat and I involuntarily find myself nodding my head. "Yes Daddy." I whimper as I try to keep myself from crying. There has got to be a way that I can fix this quickly. I know what I'll do. I'll get my father off my back long enough to talk to Alex and then maybe the two of us can figure something out.

Unfortunately, I've had zero to no time to do so. It has been exactly three days since my father had informed me that I was getting married and I couldn't find Alex anywhere. I've asked Kate on where Alex might be and she told me that Alex has taken a few days off. I even went over to her apartment to try and talk to her but either she wasn't there or she just wasn't answering me.

I shift uncomfortably on my feet as I stand off to the side with Jacob and my mother as my father is giving one of his speeches. I'm not actually paying attention to whatever it is that the speech is about, I'm more focused on the fact that I haven't spoken to Alex since she apparently spoke to my father.

I glance up to see Jacob briefly look down and send me a small smile. Jake is a nice guy, I'll give him that. He's about six foot four, muscular with slick brown hair, shiny white teeth, and killer brown eyes and in another world I would probably be attracted to him. But in this world, I'm just not. My heart belongs to a blue eyed blonde haired agent who hasn't been returning any of my phone calls. The most that I got out of her was a text message that simply said 'I need some space'. How can I give her space when I desperately need to talk to her?!

"Before I call an end to my address for this evening, I would like to share something with the people of this nation on a personal level." My father says proudly to the center filled with people. "I am proud to announce that my daughter will be getting married."

I'm pretty sure that I pale at least fifteen shades as the center erupts with applause and cheers. I'm broken from my trance when I feel Jake lightly tugging on my hand, beckoning to move towards the front of the stage where my father is waiting for us.

I put on my best fake smile as Jake slips his arm around my waist and we wave for the photo opportunities. No one is supposed to know that I'm unhappy. No one is supposed to know I'm completely miserable with this decision, but what could I have done?

Once again I'm brought from a trance and I faintly make out the chant of the crowd. I swallow the lump in my throat as I falsely smile up at Jake and allow him to place a kiss on my lips. The kiss is awkward for the both of us but as my father stated before, 'it's good for the publicity'.

When I pull away from the kiss it takes everything I had not to run to the farthest end of the stage and vomit. There's a sour taste in my mouth and I can't help but feel like I just want to break down and cry for the moment.

* * *

_**Alex POV **_

I drop my cell phone from my hand as I stare emotionlessly at my television screen. My heart is pounding in my ears and I swear I can hear it starting to crack and shatter like glass. I hadn't known that there was a speech today, and I was so dead set on calling her. I needed a little time to myself to reconsider what I was going to do and I had decided. I was going to fight for her no matter what her father said because I love her. But now, I honestly don't feel like it's worth it.

She's engaged. She's engaged to be married to someone else and she didn't tell me. It makes me wonder how long she's been engaged with out telling me. Did the first night we made love mean nothing? Was she just playing me just to see if she could get what she wanted? Did she ever really love me to begin with?

All of my questions are numerous and endless. I feel like I'm now walking barefoot on the shards of glass that used to be my heart as I watch Casey's fiancé lean down and kiss her. I thought for once that I was the one who really put that smile on her face but I guess I was wrong in believing such a stupid thought.

I turn off my television and draw my knees up to my chest. I want to cry so badly right now, but it's like my body is refusing to let me. I'm just shaking because that's all my body is allowing me to do right now. What did I do to deserve this? Why did I have to fall in love with her and then have things end up like this?

Maybe I'm being ridiculous sitting here feeling sorry for myself like this, but I should have known this would happen. Casey was way too good for me to begin with and I should have known that she would find someone better. I've never loved anyone before like I love her, and I've never let anyone love me like I thought she did.

I should have known that she'd leave. If my parents abandoned me when I was not even a day old, what reason would Casey have to stay with me when she sees what a mess I really am? I can't believe I've been so stupid.

I feel like I've become numb. My head is full of fuzzy cotton balls and every sound seems to have gone to a dull roar. I feel like my ears are stopped up, yet I can hear every ragged breath I take. I stand up from my couch and stagger my way into my bedroom. My legs collapse on me before I get to my bed and I draw my knees up to my chest once again as I sit with my back pressed against the wall.

Nothing. I have nothing and no one right now. Casey was the one person that literally meant the world to me and I would do anything for her, but now I have nothing. I close my eyes and suddenly I feel like I'm seven years old all over again.

_"Alex, you're being stupid." Hailey, probably one of my only childhood friends says as she watches me from her seat at the table. _

_ I frown but shake my head as I reach for another colored pencil and continue my picture. "No I'm not. They'll be here this time. I know they will." I say firmly as I color the house blue this time. "They've got to." _

_ Hailey huffs and rolls her eyes as if I've just said the dumbest thing on earth. "Alex, you say that almost everyday. You're talking crazy talk. No body's gonna take you with them if you keep talking crazy talk like that." _

_ "I'm not talking crazy talk!" I exclaim, frustrated that my friend is really being supportive at the moment. "They just missed the other times but I know they'll come this time. They know its adoption day, so they'll be here to get me." _

_ Hailey looks at me and shakes her head before she gets up from the table. I don't look after her as I go back to my coloring. Not long after Hailey leaves a lady comes and sits down at the table with me. _

_ "Hi sweetie," the lady says happily, giving me a smile. "What's your name?" _

_ "Hello." I respond as I grin and look up from my picture. "My name is Alex. It's short for Alexandra but I don't like that name." I say as I make a face at my formal name. _

_ The lady chuckles and her smile makes me feel all warm inside. "That's a lovely name. My name is Laura." She says offering me her hand to shake. She turns her head and looks down at my picture curiously. "What are you drawing?" _

_ "My Mommy and Daddy." I explain as I smile down at the picture. "And that's the house that they live in. They're coming to get me today and we'll go back to their house where they have a puppy! I've always wanted a puppy. Do you have a puppy?" _

_ "No, but we do have a kitty. Kitties are just as nice as puppies." She responds cheerfully. _

_ I sink down a little in my chair in disappointment, mostly at the fact that this lady isn't my mother. "My parents have a puppy…" I murmur quietly to myself so only I can hear. _

The flashbacks run through my head like some sort of twisted movie and as soon as I open and close my eyes once again, I'm not seven anymore, I'm thirteen.

_"Happy birthday, Alex." Hailey says quietly as she takes a seat next to me on my bed. _

_ I look up and see where she's offering me a packaged cupcake that she's some how managed to put a tiny candle into. "Thanks." I murmur as I take the cupcake and put it on my bedside table. I sigh as I continue to flip through all of the stupid and ridiculous drawings I've drawn over the years. _

_ "I don't think they're coming Al…" Hailey speaks quietly as she knows exactly what's running through my head as I stare at all of these pictures. _

_ "I know." I respond as I resist the urge to tear all of these pictures to pieces. "I feel so stupid for thinking they would after all this time. You're right, it was all just crazy talk. That's probably why no one else would've picked me either. They probably thought I was crazy." _

_ "Hey, don't say that. I'm sure that you'll find your place and a family that loves you." she says as she gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. _

_ I sigh quietly and toss the pictures back into a box that I shove under my bed. "Yeah, I guess." I mumble sadly as I climb back into bed. Another adoption day gone and wasted, but who would want to adopt a teenager anyhow._

* * *

_ "In just no time at all, we will be college students, and soon enough, even that spring will turn to fall as we will graduate, and we will be sent out into the world to find our own meaning in life. And a job. As a final outgoing thought, I leave you all with this; in this journey, be sure to laugh much and smile often, for optimism will always make the world a brighter place, for a simple show of optimism can make the world a brighter place. Be sure to say thank you to those who deserve it, for a little gratitude goes a long way, as a little gratitude can go a long way. But most of all, be sure to make your time your own, for time is far too precious to let slip away without a fight. Thank you all." _

_ I take a nervous deep breath as I finish off my speech and the whole coliseum of my peers erupts into streams of cheers and applause. I've just given my valedictorian speech and to be honest, I'm more nervous now that I've finished the speech than I was before I started. _

_ The ceremony comes to an end I can't help but stare down at the diploma in my hands and smile. I can't believe I've actually come this far and graduated high school, and a little early at that. _

_ My smile fades as I look up and see parents and families surrounding their high school graduate while I stand off to the side by myself. I know that this shouldn't bother me at this age, but I can't help but feel a little bit like a loser at the fact that I'm standing here alone. _

_ I smile and wave at a friend of mine as she finishes posing for a picture with her mom, dad and sisters. As I said before, I know this shouldn't bother me but it still does and it's probably going to for a very long time._

When I come out of all of my flashbacks, I realize that I'm just barely starting to cry. I told myself that I wasn't going to cry, and I tried to convince myself that it wasn't going to cry but it happened anyway.

So this is what a broken heart feels like.

**I told you you'd cry…I did…a lot…goodness I've gotta stop doing that. Anyhow, leave your feedback! **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Chapter is shorter than I wanted it to be, and that frustrates me to no ends, but…it is a chapter no less. **

_**Casey POV **_

I swallow nervously as I raise my fist to knock on the door. My hand trembles noticeably as I lightly not and step back to patiently wait to see if Alex is going to answer. My breathing is ragged as I anticipate the dreadfully long moments, wondering whether or not she's going to open the door.

Moments pass and to me they seem like hours, but soon I hear the locks turning on the other side of the door and I brace myself for whatever I'm about to be hit with. When the door swings open, I am met with a pair of tired, angry, and frustrated blue eyes that look cold and distant as well as lost, confused, and hurt.

Alex narrows her eyes into thin little slits behind the frames of her black rimmed glasses that I have literally only ever seen her wear one other time. "What do you want." She questions, her tone low, deathly, and filled with pain.

"Al…I—I am so, so sorry." I gasp out, knowing that she knows everything by now. It's been all over the television, the internet, the radio. I just had to pose for some stupid magazine cover shoot photo with Jake so it'll soon be hitting the stands as well. "Please. Let me in so maybe we could talk about this?" I plead, my heart sinking just a little lower when I see her stony expression remain in place. "Alex please. I'm begging. I just really need to talk to you. Please."

She stares at me with that same fearless expression before she quickly spins on her heel and retreats back into her apartment. I heave a small sigh of relief as I step over the threshold and close the door behind me. I step through the foyer and into the living room where I see her standing completely rigid in the center of the room. I walk fully into the room where I am standing maybe a few feet away from her and I try to begin with something, anything, but unfortunately, I have no idea what to say.

"You wanted to talk, so talk." She says coldly. I swear I can feel her stare boring into me intensely like a billion blazing knives.

I stare down at my shoes and try to keep my emotions in check. "I wanted to tell you. I really did. But I couldn't get a hold of you anyhow and I just…I'm so sorry."

"You're getting married." she says quietly, not in the form of a question, but rather a statement. "You're engaged to someone else…"

"I—I know Alex, I know and I just…I'm so sorry." I whimper as I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "I didn't mean for this to happen like this. My father…he found out about us, and he made all these threats and I just…I'm so sorry. I don't want to marry Jake and frankly, he doesn't want to marry me either, but my father…"

"See that's your problem." Alex snaps in a tone that I've never heard before which definitely startles me. "Forget you're father Casey. So what he doesn't approve of me. I kind of figured that he wouldn't. I mean…I might not be able to take care of you like I probably should be and of course you are way out of my league, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you with all of my heart, soul, mind, and body. I just thought none of that mattered because we love each other. But I guess I was wrong."  
My eyes widen in fear and I quickly shake my head at her assumption. "Alex, I do love you; more than I've ever loved anyone before. Please don't doubt that I love you, but my father…he's my father Alex. I want to make him happy, and I just…I can't have everything."

She snorts humorlessly and shakes her head as she looks away from me. "You're right, you can't. You're engaged Casey; this is a huge deal to me. And why do you have to make your father happy? Why are you letting him run your life? You aren't a puppet so stop looking at him like he's your puppet master. It's like…it's like he has strings attached to you and when he decides he wants you to do something; you do it. It's almost like he pretty much owns you. Y-you don't have to listen to him Casey. We could go away together and make our own lives. You don't have to stay here and live up to your father's standards. We could go away and make a life together; just you and me."

A tear finally breaks past my emotional barrier and I shake my head at her words yet again. "I can't Alex, you know I can't. I can't just leave my parents like this. They both expect so much from me and that's why…that's why I can't just leave. Please understand. I don't want to get married. We could still see each other in secret and we could…"

"I don't want to be anyone's dirty little secret anymore Casey!" she shouts which startles me once again. I don't want to have to sneak around anymore. I want the world to know how much I love you. I want to walk down the street and hold your hand or kiss you when I feel like it. Forget what anyone else thinks because they don't matter. What matters is how much I love you and I need you…"

"I…I'm sorry Alex. I never meant to hurt you like this…"

Her hard gaze breaks as tears slowly make their way down her cheeks. "I gave you my everything Casey. I—I told you about my childhood, my life, I opened up to you! My first time with anyone was with you because I thought it'd be special because I just love you so much it hurts. I opened myself up to you, and that's something I've never done to anyone else before in my life. I opened up and I let you in. We can forget about your father. We don't need him."

By now I realize that I'm crying and biting down on my lip so hard that I draw blood. "Alex I'm sorry…can we just work this out?"

"I won't be your side secret while you are engaged." She says sternly before she shakes her head, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. "I can't be the other woman. Please…don't do this to my heart."

"Time Alex. Please give me time. I need to figure things out." I plead. I feel like I'm going to be sick, but right now, I'm determined not to.

Alex's hurtful gaze turns cold once again yet I can actually see tears at bay for her. "Fine, then leave." She says coldly even though her voice cracks on the tale end of the sentence. "Don't stay here and torture me like this any longer."

I want to argue with her, but I can see that she's struggling with her emotions, and she really wants to be alone at the moment. I look at the folded papers in my purse and take them out before I walk over to her coffee table and place them there. "These are for you." I say quietly before I straighten up again. "You can look at them when I'm gone."

She stares at me unmoving as I make my way to her door. I send her a small smile as I open the door and step out into the hall. When I make my way back down to my car, I finally let all of my emotions consume me and I sob long and hard against the steering wheel.

* * *

_**Alex POV **_

I grip my steering wheel so tightly that I can see the veins in my hands straining against my sink. My heart is thumping loudly and it feels like there are a billion bass drums in my ears keeping an erratic yet constant rhythm. I reach over to the passenger seat and pick up the papers that Casey had left at my apartment not even two days ago.

I glance at the papers for a long moment before I shove them into my back pocket and exit my vehicle. I adjust my hoodie against the sudden cold breeze although my attempt proves futile and I soon find myself shuddering against the cold.

Making my way up the stone pathway, I try to mentally check all of my emotions making sure that they are all where they are directed and supposed to me. I swallow thickly and gaze up at the house as I reach the front door, and before I lose all of my nerve; I ring the doorbell. The bell is rather loud even from the outside but with how large this house is, I'm sure it has to be loud so it can be heard all over the place.

Even though I'm only kept waiting a few seconds, it feels like hours to me and I actually consider turning around to leave. As soon as I'm about to consider sprinting back to me car, the door opens and I feel like I am literally met with the fifteen year old version of myself. The girl and I stare at each other for a long moment before she is the first one to break the silence.

"You…you look like me." she says quietly as if dumbfounded that I've found my way to her doorstep.

"No…_you_ look like _me_." I reply with a small shaky of my head as her steely blue eyes continue to rake over me with curiosity.

She stares at me for another long moment before she slowly begins to back into the house. "_Mooooom_…." She calls out into the house, leaving the door open with me standing on the porch. I don't know whether that means I can come in or not, but I take a chance and step into the house, making sure to close the door behind me.

I follow the sound of the teens hurried footsteps and I catch up with her just as she's entering a large room with a taller blonde woman wearing a curious expression. The woman's gaze snaps towards me and her look of confusion quickly turns into one of surprise as if she's seen a ghost or something.

I clear my throat awkwardly and shove my hands into my pockets. "Hi…" I begin, having to clear my throat again to make my voice more suitable.

"I'm…uh…I'm Alex."

The woman stares at me for the longest of times before she slowly crosses the room and continues to stare at me. Well gee, now I finally see where I got my eyes from.

"Alexandra, is it really you?" she speaks as the mere question is going to cause me to just vanish on the spot.

I swallow thickly and nod my head, losing all of my cool in a manner of seconds. "Y-yeah…"

"It's been a long time." Well no shit lady.

"Twenty six years is a long time." I respond tersely, all of my anger emotions beginning to surface at once. My eyes flicker towards the teenager who quickly recoils under my harsh gaze. "That your kid?"

The woman nods at my question and briefly looks back at her daughter. "Yes…that is my daughter McKenzie."

"What makes her so special." I ask angrily, refusing to try and mask my emotions any longer. I can see her expression turn into that of shock as if she briefly doesn't understand the question, so I repeat it again. "What makes her so special and so…different."

Isn't it funny how I have refused to call this woman 'my mother'? I refuse simply because I can't do it. She hasn't been there for me at all, and there is literally no way I can accept her as a parent.

"What makes her so different that she deserved a loving family while I was left to rot alone?" I spit angrily, clearly startling the both of them.

"Alexandra, please don't think that way." Veronica pleads, trying to calm me down even though this is pretty much the calm before the storm for me. "I never wanted to give you away."

I snuff irritably and shake my head as a bitter chuckle escapes my throat. "Which is why I am standing here at twenty six years old finally coming face to face with the woman who gave birth to me. You didn't care."

"That's not true!" she screeches as tears spring to her eyes. "I've always cared! I've thought about you every single day since that horrid day that I had to give my child away."

"DO NOT call me that. Do not call me your child because you are not my mother. A mother is someone who would do anything for their child, that's what a mother is. I waited for you. My entire childhood consisted of meaningless hopes that one day you would come and take me away from that place that I had to grow up in alone! I wasn't even adopted by anyone else! While I'm literally having to take care of myself, you are out having another bastard child with your bastard husband!"

Veronica's eyes harden in anger despite the tears streaked down her cheeks. "You WILL NOT talk about my daughter in that manner. She has nothing to do with this and I will not stand here and allow you to degrade her because of your jealous rage."

"Jealous?!" I shout, my anger starting to get the best of me. "You think I'm jealous of her!? I'm not sure what would be worse, growing up alone knowing you didn't even want me, or growing up here STILL with the knowledge of knowing I was unwanted. YOU WERE SIXTEEN! Clearly I was nothing more than a mistake. A mistake that neither you nor your husband was willing the live with!"

"That's not true!" she whimpers shaking her head vigorously. "You weren't a mistake and I didn't want to give you away. I tried my hardest, please understand that I did."

I narrow my eyes and my gaze flickers to McKenzie once again and pretty soon all of my anger is channeled directly at her. "How does it feel finding out you've been living a lie?! Know that you got lucky to be the spoiled rich brat of the family?!"

"Alexandra, you need to calm down." Veronica exclaims hysterically as she places both of her hands on my shoulders. "I wanted to keep you but your father he wouldn't…I tried everything that I could but we were so poor and I couldn't support a child at my age. I tried so hard I did."

My father. It's his fault that I am completely alone. It is entirely his fault that all my life I've felt like a pathetic orphan who no one wanted. I grit my teeth in anger and see a man slowly enter the room out of the corner of my eye. I see Veronica and McKenzie's eyes flicker to him as well and I know exactly who he is; that bastard.

That bastard standing on the other side of the room is the cause of my pain. He is the fucking reason that I am the way I am and the very fucking reason that I have lived my life without a family.

I don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like I am looking at the world through a red colored glass. I have never felt more hatred and anger towards anything or anyone in my whole entire life. As I said before, I've become a completely different person and my actions are no longer rationalized.

Blindly utilizing my intense training, I quickly draw my service weapon from my holster and spin around quickly, aiming the fire arm dead at his chest. I see the surprise written on his face as I don't fire yet he takes a stumbling step backwards.

I grit my teeth so hard that I feel like they're going to shatter completely inside my mouth. I hate him and I want him to die more than anything right at this very moment. I tighten my hold around my gun and stare straight into his frightened eyes.

"Give me one good reason on why I should not kill you right now."

**Sheesh, major, major, MAJOR cliffie right here! I even surprised myself with this one. Leave your feedback?**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Okay, so…my Iguana got sick yesterday and my focus was kinda on her pretty much ALL day, so that's why I didn't update, but I am back now with another chapter for this lovely story. Hope you enjoy!**

I see all of the color slowly drain from his face as I steady my gun right at his chest. All I need to do is squeeze the trigger and he will be dead within a matter of seconds, if not instantly. The strange thing is, right now, I want to kill him. I'm an officer of the law, employed by the United States government to serve the president directly, and here I am standing in the middle of a living room with a gun pointed at my father, ready to kill him.

"Alexandra, p-please. Put the gun away and calm down." Veronica pleads shakily as she tries to bring me out of my enraged trance. "Please."

My eyes are glassy with tears and as I try to blink them into oblivion, they end up falling in consistent intervals down my face. I want to kill him so bad it hurts right now. As I said before, I don't even feel like myself. I know I'm scaring my mother, and my sister, but I don't even care right now. He's looking at me with a changed expression. His expression has gone from distressed from fearing for his life, to cold and hardened even as I still have my gun pointed at him.

"Do it." he says coldly, his voice void of any fear or distress.

"Robert!" "Dad!" McKenzie and Veronica gasp at the same time.

His eyes flicker to them before landing on me again, the coldness in his eyes never leaving me or wavering in the slightest. "You want to kill me, do it and show everyone just what a disgrace you really are." He says flatly before snorting. "And you claim to wonder why we never kept you. You have some nerve showing up here, you know that? After all of these years, you have a hell of a lot of nerve."

"It's because of you, that my life has been hell." I respond, trying and failing miserably to keep the emotion out of my voice. "It's because of you that I grew up alone!"

"I would not dare keep a bastard child." He sneers as if he's egging me on.

I can feel my anger and pain boiling by the second, and without a second though, I squeeze the trigger.

_**Alex POV **_

I shoot up in my bed drenched in a cold sweat, my chest heaving from the nightmare my body has just ripped it some from. I take a minute to calm myself before I wipe my dampened hair out of my face and my eyes slowly begin to adjust to the darkness of my bedroom.

On instinct and habit, my hand reaches to the right side of my bed, only for my fingers to find the sheets cold and empty. I clutch the sheets in my fist and there is a tugging at my heart when I realize that that I'm in bed alone. The tugging at my heart increases when I realize that Casey is actually gone.

I have no idea where that dream came from. It could possibly be from all of my conflicting emotions all at once, but I've never really been good with that kind of stuff anyway. In my nightmare I killed my father. I killed Robert Cabot in cold blood all because he is the reason that my life has been the pure definition of hell for twenty six years. He's the reason that I am the way I am. He's the reason people just glance over me as if I don't exist; at least to me it feels that way. I killed him in my dream because I wanted to and strangely enough, I don't feel at all appalled by such a feeling.

As a secret service agent, I know for a fact that I cannot kill my father, and even as a woman with morals, I know that I will not kill my father. Why did I go and visit them in that dream? Is this all because Casey left those papers with me? Why would she leave those when I told her that I have absolutely no intention of going to see my neglectful parents and their spoiled daughter? It says here on the paper that McKenzie is an only child, so there is no doubt in my mind that she's spoiled rotten.

It just isn't fair how they get to live their happy little lives as a family of three. Hell, a rich family of three at that. It isn't fair how they live in their luxury mansion and I'm here in an apartment, supporting myself to make ends meet. Am I just supposed to be okay with this? I feel ashamed at the fact that I had even entertained the fact of murdering my father. Dreams are supposed to be vivid images of your subconscious right? I feel ashamed and then I feel saddened at the fact that I don't feel all that bad about thinking such horrid thoughts. Of course I would never do it, but it's not so bad to think about. I hate him.

Sighing quietly to myself, I get out of bed and make my way through my dark apartment into the living room. Truth be honest, it's a little painful to fall asleep in my bed right now. It still smells like Casey. Casey's lotion, Casey's hair shampoo, Casey's body wash; just everything. Casey. Casey. Casey.

As I pass through the living room, I snag a beer from my refrigerator and go back into the living room where I plop down aimlessly onto the couch. Sighing again, I take a swig from the bottle and pathetically sink down into the sofa cushions. Honestly, I don't think I've ever felt so low than I do right now. In all honesty, I want to cry, but I just can't bring myself to. I think the heartbreak I'm feeling right now makes up for my unshed tears.

I need Casey, but I'm so upset with her. How does that even work? What are you supposed to do when you're upset with the one person that you love more than anything on the whole entire planet?

_**Casey POV **_

"So you've been all moping around lately because your father somehow found out about your supposed to be secret relationship with Alex, he ordered you two apart romantically, he forced you into a engagement, and now you and a boy you hardly even know are getting married." Kate concludes with a slight raise of her eyebrow. "That sound about right?"

I slowly and shamefully nod my head. I had no idea of where or who I was supposed to go to with this. I could have gone to Serena or Kim of course; they're my best friends. But something tells me that they just wouldn't understand with something like this. So I went to Kate. I've talked to Kate before on numerous occasions and I've found her to be very nice, but I kinda took a shot in the dark here in hoping that she wouldn't be judgmental.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Alex is so upset with me right now, but she has every right to be." I explain sadly before I deflate in my seat and drop my head into my hands. "I broke her heart Kate. I-I've betrayed her. She feels like I've lead her on and this was all just a game for me. I feel like such an asshole. She pretty much gave herself up to me. I could see it in her eyes that she's never been in love before and it's just…I feel like I've ruined her."

Kate does nothing but hum and slightly nod her head. I narrow my eyes at her response and in my confusion, I have absolutely no idea what the hell she's trying to say here. Her face isn't judgmental, but it also isn't soft either; it's just neutral, as if gears are turning inside her head.

"Interesting." She says after a long silence in a bland tone that tells me absolutely nothing on what she's thinking about.

"That's all you have to say? Interesting?" I question quizzically, trying not to let my frustrations creep into my tone.

Unfortunately for me, Kate is very observant and so I think she slightly senses my irritation with her cryptic answers. "Well it is interesting." She says with a shrug. "What did you want me to say?"

"Something better than that." I mumble, involuntarily folding my arms and pouting just out of pure habit. Damn, I'm spoiled.

She sighs quietly before she turns and looks at me with a genuine and sincere expression. "Casey, I'm going to be honest with you on both accounts, and I want you to listen good, alright?" she says, waiting for me to nod my head before she continues on. "You shouldn't let your father bully you around the way that he does. You're his daughter and in all honesty, he should be able to see when and when you are not happy. It doesn't take a genius to figure out you aren't happy with this arrangement at all, and from where I'm sitting, I can tell that you really do love Alex. I admit, she is at fault for being distant and avoiding you like she had been, but you have to realize, that's all she's ever known. She's been alone all her life, and she's never had anyone there to hold her when she's scared or wipe her tears away when she's sad. Because she's never had any of that, she had no idea of what to do with those emotions. I don't want you to think that I'm upset with you because I'm not, but you doing this has torn her apart. She's just scared Casey, that's all. But also, you need to stand up to your father. He has no right to run your life the way he does. His job is to run the country, not his twenty four year old daughter."

I sigh and sadly no my head as I realize that she's right. God, it hurts me so bad to know that I've hurt Alex so much. But I'm scared. I have no idea what my father would do to me if I go against everything he's already set up. How would I even tell him that I don't want to do this? There is no doubt in my mind that he would definitely cut me off, and then what would I do? I would lose literally everything, including his respect, my mother, my grandmother; everything!

"I don't know what to do Kate. I love Alex so much but Daddy…he's my father! How can I just say 'no' to the man who has literally given me everything and then some? To the man that's provided for me all my life to make sure I'm well taken care of and well raised?" I exclaim before I fold my arms again. I'm so confused right now. "I love her Kate, I swear I do. I've never felt this much affection for anyone else. I don't want to lose her and it physically makes me sick to think of how much I've hurt her. What do I do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"Kate, you aren't helping any."

"I don't have all the answers Casey. I wish I did, but I don't."

I blink away my tears of frustration and let out a rather shaky breath. "What would you do?" I ask quietly, hoping and praying that whatever answer she gives me won't be a riddle, or a puzzle piece, or a hieroglyphic or anything like that.

She runs her fingers through her dark hair for a moment and I can tell by her facial expression that she is deeply in thought. "I would listen to my heart and follow down the path that it wants to lead me." she says calmly.

"But which ever path that is…well…that is something only you can decide."

**Don't worry, things will start to look up for our favorite couple in the next chapter! I promise. And because of me not updating yesterday, I do have a surprise for you guys that I think you're gonna like. I know I love it *wink wink* anyway, leave your lovely feedback! Your guys' comments make my world go round. **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Wow, haven't updated this in a while. Sorry for that guys. Well, I hope this chapter will make up for it! **

**Casey POV**

"I'm not marrying Jake, Daddy." I say firmly as I barge into my father's office without even knocking. I can tell that my statement has taken him completely by surprise but good; that's exactly what I wanted.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?" he responds in question, his voice laced with worry and concern. He's looking at me as if I've hit my head on something and have gone completely insane.

I take a deep breath and clench my hands into tight fists. "I mean exactly what I said. I'm not going to marry Jacob. I'm not going to marry him just because you think it'll be good for my image. I don't love him Daddy. I love Alex and I want to be with her."

His confused expression morphs into an angry one and I can tell that I've stepped on a nerve that I probably shouldn't have stepped on. "Did she put you up to this? If she forced you into saying this, I'll have her out of her faster than she can blink an eye."

"No Daddy, she has nothing to do with this. This is me. This is all me saying that I'm not going to marry a man that I don't even love just because it's what you want. I'm twenty four years old Daddy and I think that I can make my own decisions. What you're doing…it's not fair. Don't you want me to be happy?"

"Of course I want you to be happy, Casey. You're my daughter. I want nothing more than your happiness which is why I believe that you will be really happy with Jacob. He's such a nice young man. He's charming, handsome, comes from money, he's in your league Casey! He'll be able to take nice good care of you."

I shake my head and fold my arms tightly. "No he won't because I don't love him and I refuse to marry him. I'm in love with Alex and she's the only person that I want. I love her and she loves me and if you have a problem with that, then you can just forget about me being your daughter anymore."

His eyes widen in surprise before his scowl deepens. "You don't mean that." he growls, his anger starting to break through his calm complexion.

"I sure do." I reply firmly, matching his glare with one of my own. I turn to leave when his dark words bring me to a halt.

"If you walk out that door right now, you can forget about ever coming back." He warns, with a deathly seriousness in his voice.

I take a deep breath before I turn back to him. "Then you won't have to worry about ever seeing me again." I say quietly before I leave his office without another word. I quickly make my way to my bedroom where I pack as many of my things as possible.

Before I leave, I briefly contemplate going to say goodbye to my mother, but I decide against it when I realize that all she's going to do is take his side. I hoist my bags over my shoulders and make my way to my car with out a word to anyone around me. They don't need to know that I'm leaving and they certainly don't need to know that I don't plan on ever coming back.

I know that some people would say that this is probably one of the dumbest decisions I've ever made in my life, but to me, I feel like it's the smartest. For the first time in my life, I don't feel completely dependent on my father. I don't feel like I need to live by his rules or by his standards. If he really wanted what's best for me, then he would respect me enough to let me make my own decisions.

This is the first time in my life that I've been in love and I'm not going to let my father stand in the way of that. Maybe this is me finally maturing, I don't know, I just know that I've had some pretty big decisions to think about and I'm sure right now my mind is made up. I just hope Alex will have it in her heart to forgive me for it.

* * *

**Alex POV **

"We shouldn't have done that."

"I know."

"So you realize that this was a mistake."

"Yes, I know that too."

"And you realize that nothing can happen by this. That this was just a one time thing and it means nothing."

"Once again; I know. I'm sure that somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that it wasn't going to mean anything. I didn't really expect it to."

"I was using you…"

"…I figured."

"Are you upset?"

"Maybe not as upset as I should be. I guess 'upset' wouldn't be the right word."

"I'm sorry…"

"What for?"

"For using you like this…"

"I let you. If anything, it's my fault. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I-I'm in love with someone…"

"Then why'd you have sex with me?"

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"I needed to feel something…"

"Oh…"

"You're upset."

"I'm not upset."

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying!"

"Those are tears…"

"So what if they are…"

"It means you're upset. You didn't want it to mean something…did you?"

"It's not that. I don't know how to explain what it is."

"Well try."

"It just…kind of hurts I guess."

"I'm sorry."

"Please stop saying that."

"Why?"

"Because you shouldn't be sorry."

"But you're upset…"

"I'm upset with myself, not you."

"You're upset because of me…"

"That I'm not going to deny. But it's not your fault."

"Tell me why it hurts."

"But I-"

"Tell me."

"…it hurts because I feel like a slut."

"You're not a slut."

"I knew what was going on. I let it happen anyway. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why'd you kiss me?"

"Because I miss her."

"Do I look like her?"

"No."

"Then…I don't understand."

"You're…easy."

"I'm easy…?"

"That came out wrong."

"Yeah it did."

"I mean…you're…comfortable. I needed comfortable not complicated."

"So you figured if you slept with me, things wouldn't be complicated."

"I guess."

"You have weird logic."

"I know."

"You basically just implied that I'm a slut."

"I wasn't trying to."

"I know you weren't."

"Do you regret it?"

"Yes."

"Wow. Fast answer."

"What did you expect me to answer with? 'No, I've always enjoyed being used like this'."

"You told me you weren't upset with me."

"I could have lied."

"Did you?"

"I don't know."

"I would take it back if I could."

"I know you would."

"You're crying again…"

"Shut up…"

I snap my mouth shut and immediately alert my gaze by to my hands. "Abbie I really am sorry." I say quietly for probably the hundredth time. I've never seen her like this before and I actually feel bad that she's like this right now because of me.

"I already told you that it doesn't matter." She replies without looking at me. She reaches up at wipes a stray tear from her face before she closes her eyes and attempts to calm her breathing.

So yeah…I don't really know how to explain what all has gone on over the past few days. So…Abbie's in town…which by now, is quite obvious. We had dinner the night before to just catch up on how things have been. Because of my stupid head being all messed up, I kissed her and one thing just led to another.

I feel horrible and I strongly regret what happened. The only reason that it did happen is because I miss Casey so much and right then I needed an out for my feelings. I feel like such a terrible person for doing this. No, I feel like worse than a terrible person. I feel like the scum of the earth.

"Tell me about her." Abbie says suddenly.

Okay, now that took my by surprise. "What?" I respond, blinking rapidly.

"The woman you're in love with. Tell me about her." she repeats, finally looking at me directly.

"Oh…okay." I stutter before I take a deep breath. "Uh, well…she's…amazing. She's beautiful, she has a great personality, an amazing heart, and I love her. She's captured my heart and I used to didn't know what I would do with out her. She's been having family issues recently and it's caused us to not be able to see each other anymore. Now I realize without her I end up making stupid mistakes like this."

Abbie's silence is actually worrying me a little, simply because she's not looking at me anymore. She's staring at her hands and it seems that there are several gears turning in her head all at once. Honestly like I said before, I've never seen her like this and I'm not sure if I should be scared or not.

"Fight for her." she says firmly, though she still isn't looking at me. "It sounds like she means to world to you. Don't just sit here and let fucked up circumstances get in your way. If your heart really belongs to her, then you'll fight for her."

"I'm scared." I admit shamefully hanging my head.

"You? Scared? I've never thought that you of all people would be scared of anything. What are you scared of?"

"I'm afraid that she'll choose her family over me. I'm afraid that I'll fight my hardest for her but in the end I'll just end up looking like a pitiful fool who was just chasing the end of a rainbow. I don't know if I can go through that kind of heartbreak another time. That's why I'm scared."

"If she really means that much to you then none of that will matter. You'll continue to fight for her no matter what. I've never known you to give up on anything, and frankly, I don't think that it should start now."

I sigh and rake my fingers through my hair as I squeeze my eyes shut. "When do you plan on going back?" I ask, trying to think of any change of subject for the time being.

Abbie shrugs nonchalantly at the question. "Soon. Probably some time tonight, or tomorrow morning. It's been a nice visit…despite…certain circumstances."

I wince as I know exactly what she's talking about. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." She says quietly before standing up from my couch. "I really should be getting back to my hotel. There are quick things that I gotta do for work."

"Have a safe trip back." I say quietly as I get up and follow her to the door. "It really was nice seeing you."

She turns back to me and gives me a small smile. "You too." She replies just as quiet. That's the last thing she says to me before she leaves, forgoing the awkward hug that never occurred.

I slink back into my living room and plop down on my couch with maximum frustration. God, how could I have been so stupid?! I know for a fact that Abbie hates me now, even if she wasn't voicing it verbally. She's always had this silent rage thing about her.

"God, what have I done." I groan loudly as I throw my arm over my eyes to block out the sun streaming in through my living room windows. I'm not sleepy, but I become so lost in my own thoughts that the sound of banging on my door nearly scares me to death.

Thinking that it's Abbie coming back either because she forgot something, or because she realizes that she left without slapping me in the face, I'm in no real hurry to answer the door. Once I get there, I bypass looking through the peephole and I swing it open ready to start apologizing again.

What I don't expect is to see a flash of red hair before a pair of arms are tightly wrapped around my head and the owner of said arms is sobbing into my shoulder. I'm immediately stunned into to silence, I have no idea what to say at the moment.

"Alex, please, I-I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking and I can't…I can't go on living like this." Casey sobs heavily into the fabric of my shirt. I can feel her hot tears starting to wet my skin. "I told my father that I don't care what he thinks because I'm in love with you and I don't want to be with anyone else but you. I know you're hurting and I know you've been hurting and it's all my fault and I know this is a lot to ask of you but please, please, forgive me. Please. I want to be with you and I don't care anything about my family. I just want you."

I blink rapidly as if I'm trying to wake my self up. I feel like this is a dream and I'm just going to wake up in a few minutes and everything is going to be fake and I'm just going to cry my self to sleep again. As I move us further into my apartment, I close the door behind us before sitting us down on the couch. As I wrap my arms tightly around her, I realize that I'm crying as well. I also realize that this is not a dream.

**And before you guys start freaking out, no, this is not me doing one of my cruel things again and making this all some dream. It's not a dream this time. It's real. Lol, leave your thoughts. **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Ooo I love this chapter! I just…ooo I love it. I had no idea what I was going to do with this story and then this suddenly just came to me after playing around online for a little while. Enjoy!**

**Casey POV **

"Casey, I'm so sorry." Alex mumbles after a few minutes of silence. I lift my head from her shoulder her and give her a look of concern. What could she possibly be sorry about? Everything that has happened is my fault.

"What could you possibly be sorry for? This is my fault Al…you haven't done anything wrong." I say quietly as I reach up and wipe her tears away. "Please don't cry. Please."

She closes her eyes and shakes head even though she's leaning into my touch. "I've made a big mistake. You were gone and there wasn't any minute of any day that I wasn't thinking about you. I just…I missed you so much and my judgment was so clouded it's almost as if I couldn't even see straight let alone think rationally. I…I went to bed with another woman…"

Whoa. What. Now out of all of the possible scenarios that I just mentally envisioned Alex telling me; that right there was most definitely not one of them. And you know what's pretty funny? It's not bothering me. The woman who has captured my heart just told me that she slept with someone else, and it's not bothering me in the slightest. Maybe because I know that what I did was far worse than that and theoretically, if I had let my father win, Alex was in no way obligated to wait for me. She's a grown woman and she's free to do what ever it is she wants to do whenever she wants to do it.

"That's all?" I say nonchalantly as I give her a somewhat expectant look.

Alex blinks in confusion and stares at me as if I've grown three heads. "You're…you're not upset with me? You're not going to scream at me and tell me how much you hate me? You…aren't going to leave?"

I shake my head and gently place my hand on her cheek again. "Alex, sweetheart, it's not that big of a deal to me if it was a mistake. I made a mistake too. I was going to let my father force me into a marriage to a man I hardly even know. I was going to marry someone who I don't love because it was what my father wanted. I think my mistake in comparison to yours…well…look, basically what I'm saying is, everyone makes a mistake, and I think the both of us have made just that; a mistake. But we'll both grow to learn from our mistakes just like normal humans do."

"I knew there was a reason that I loved you." she murmurs before she rests her forehead against mine. "Thank you for trusting me and forgiving me."

"I'm the one that should be thanking you for that. And thank you for telling me about what happened. Your honesty is just one of the many things I love about you." I whisper in response.

"What about your father?"

"I told him that if he felt like he needed to force me into things I didn't want to do, then he could forget about me being his daughter. I told him that I was in love with you and that I was going to be with you no matter what. Not even the Army, Marines, Navy, or Air Force could stop me from being with you."

"You really told him all that? To his face?"

"Yeah, I did. He was furious." I admit sadly, hating the way that my father looked at me.

"Wow." Alex says letting out a puff of air before she chuckles lowly. "He's…probably going to make sure that I don't have a job anymore."

"Oh my god, I didn't think of that." I gasp with widened eyes. "Alex, I'm so sorry…"

She shrugs it of as she rubs the back of her neck. "It doesn't matter anyway. There's always tons of other stuff that I can do."

"I'm sorry…I know how much your job means to you." I say apologetically as I gently rub my hand up and down her arm.

"You mean more to me than any job ever will." She whispers affectionately before she leans in and kisses me.

I sigh as my body begins to involuntarily relax into the kiss. I've missed her lips on mine. I've missed what the softness has felt like. I've missed the gentleness of her touch and the tenderness of her lips as they move against my own. I feel my body start to shivers as her hands start roaming up my sides and pause at the swell of my breasts.

"I've missed your body…" she whispers, her icy blue eyes now a stormy gray and clouded with lust and need coated with a coat of love. "You know, I could really use a shower right now…and I think that I need a beautiful redhead to join me to help me…get cleaned."

I chuckle deviously as I stand up from the sofa and pull her up as well. "I think if I get in the shower with you, you Miss Cabot, are going to be very far from the word clean." I reply as I allow her to lead me to the bathroom.

We spend the rest of the day in bed and making love. Later that night, I'm snuggled close against her warm body underneath the added warmth of the duvet covering us. Her legs are intertwined with mine as her arms are wrapped protectively and possessively around my waist. I can feel the evenness of her breathing as her breath bounces off of my shoulder, sending me chills every few times. Every now and again, she'll shift and pull me closer to her as if she's making sure that I haven't left as well as making sure that I'm safe and still wrapped in her arms. I love her because of that. I love it when she makes me feel safe.

I've missed this. I've missed this, I've missed her, I've missed being with her. God, I love this woman. I want to scream it from the rooftops, shout it from the highways, write it in the sky. She's mine, and I'm hers. Always.

* * *

**Alex POV **

Getting up and going to work after spending an entire day with Casey is probably one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do in my whole entire life. Especially since I feel like, after today, I won't have a work to go back to. I sigh quietly to myself as I clip my gun into hits holster on my belt. I love this job, but I love Casey more, so I guess my minds all ready made up in the event that I do get fired…which I probably will.

"Wow, you look great." Kate teases as we walk in sync down one of the many long corridors on random patrol. "What's got you so bright and sunshiny?"

I grin and I swear that I'm probably blushing, but hopefully it's only a feint blush. "I don't know what you're talking about." I reply as I refrain from looking at her directly, though I catch a glance at her out of the corner of my eye.

"No, don't give me that. I know that look. That's that 'I'm in love and not afraid to show it' look. I take it Casey spoke to you?" she asks, chuckling when she sees my fearful expression. "Relax. I only know because she came to me and talked to me about what was going on. I told her that the only way she was going to fix it is if she listened to her heart and chose what it was her heart wanted."

"And she chose me…"

"Looks like it. I'm glad she did too. I love the smile that girl puts on your face. Ever since you showed up from New York, I've never seen you smile the way you do whenever you talk about Casey or whenever you're even thinking about Casey. It's actually really adorable."

"Thanks…I guess." I respond, not really use if it's a complement or not. "I love being with her. She really does make me happy. I just...I feel like I don't deserve her you know?" I say before my voice turns to a sarcastic chuckle. "You wouldn't be offended if I asked you who you voted for last election would you."

An amused smile spreads across Kate's lips at my question. "Well, I won't answer you directly, but let's say that there are other people I would rather dive in front of a bullet for." She responds in which we both share a laugh at.

"I'm not sure what would be more boring, walking around doing this, or standing guard in that stupid meeting." I mumble as we round yet another corner. "Well, I guess I would say the meeting now that I think about it. At least here I have someone to talk to."

"I'll have to agree with you on that." she responds with a quick nod. "Hey, what's Casey up to? She left yesterday and she seemed pretty upset. She took a lot of her stuff with her so I wasn't sure if she was coming back."

"She didn't want to, but I told her that she needed to think about it first. Evaluate all her decisions, you know? But she's here today though. She's having lunch with her grandmother and her best friends."

"These best friends authorized for clearance?"

"Of course. Not that I would perceive either of them as threats anyway. One of them is the daughter of the Chief Justice and the other is the daughter of a Senator."

"Which one?"

"Virginia."

"Ooo, I've met her once. She's a hardass."

"Yeah well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as the saying goes."

Kate laughs again at my sarcastic humor. She's probably one of the few people that actually gets my sarcasm on occasion. "You could have went to that meeting you know." she offers, ignoring the 'really' look that I immediately shoot her. "What? Come on, you mean to tell me that you don't want to listen to a meeting about a bunch of 'foreign domestics blah, blah, blah'? Alex, I'm shocked!"

I roll my eyes irritably as Kate begins to laugh at her own joke. "How many times am I going to have to tell you that your jokes aren't funny to anyone else but you?" I mumble with a quick shake of my head.

We share light conversation as we step through the doors and out towards the north lawn of the house. It's a rather beautiful day I guess. The sun is shining, it's not too hot and it's not too cold yet there is a slight breeze. I've never really had time to stop and admire the landscape scenery of the white house like this. The fountain contrasts and blends with the lawn perfectly and in the distance you could see maybe a tourist taking pictures through the far gates.

"Nice day isn't it." I say to Kate though I don't think she's really listening to me. She seems to be way too busy focusing on something in the sky. "Hey, Kate…hello…What are you looking at?"

"What is that?" she mumbles continuing to stare at the something in the sky that I now make out as several somethings. If I didn't know any better I would say they look like planes, big heavy ones. But that doesn't make any sense. Unless it's an authorized America aircraft, nothing should be authorized to fly over DC like this. A couple of air force fighter jets breeze through the sky from the opposite direction and immediately begin firing at the unknown aircrafts. The jets are easily disposed of against the heavy guns of the three other planes, but not before they are able to take down at least two of them, causing rattling explosions in the distance.

Just as the finally plane begins to go down, I catch something in the sky out of the corner of my eye. Whatever it is, its moving fast, hot, and headed straight for us.

"Get down!" Kate shouts, as the both of us dive out of the way and into some bushes nearly seconds before the missile connects with the spot we were formerly standing in.

The heavy impact of the blast shakes the earth and we both cover our heads from the onslaught of falling flaming debris. In the distance all around us there are several more explosions that I can only faintly hear because of the ringing in my ears. As well as the feint explosions, I can hear feint screaming accompanied by long streams of gunshots from automatic rifles. There are several bangs and soon, the air is covered with a thick heavy smoke that's damn near impossible to see through.

"Kate, you alright?" I groan as I stand to my feet as we duck for more cover. I hear a muttered 'yeah I'm fine' before I turn my attention back to my ear piece in my ear. "This is Cabot. We've got a breech in security on the north lawn. Shots fired. Does anyone copy? Over?" I say hastily into my radio trying to figure out what the hell is going on." After five painfully long seconds of silence, someone responds.

"This is Rodgers, copy." I male voice responds through the radio. "Breech in security on the north and south lawn. Flaming F-35 on the south lawn with casualties-ARGH"

The sudden yell in pain from my comrade over the radio startles me and once again, I still can't help but wonder what's going on. I'm about to call over to Kate when I hear more talking in my earpiece between several different people all at once.

"Damnit, where did these come from!?"

"Code 116, I repeat code 116!"

"Royal Blue has been compromised! I repeat, Royal Blue has been compromised!"

My heart falls to my shoes at that last statement. 'Royal Blue' is a codename that the secret service uses for the presidents family with each family member having their own individual codename.

"Alex, they've taken the first family hostage." Kate informs me hastily over the sounds of screaming and gunfire.

I don't think twice after that. I burst from our cover spot and break into full sprint back towards the attacked white house. I don't stop when I hear Kate calling after me as I climb over the bodies of my fallen comrades and friends.

"Alex!" I hear my name once again before I feel a body slammed into mine, quickly pinning me to the floor just seconds before a small missile flies over ours heads, exploding into a wall behind us. "Look at me!"

I stop struggling and look up into the angry hazel eyes of my mentor who is still lying on top of me. "What!"

"I know we have to get to them, okay! I know that! But we have to be smart about this!" Kate screams at me as she points her finger out at the lawn where several masked men are beginning to storm towards the steps. "That is going to be here soon, and we need to be smart about this if we're going to stay alive. Now get your ass up and move!"

I nod my head as I get to my feet and the two of us making a mad dash for a staircase. We hear more riddling gunshots just as we make it to the top of the stares. Just as we draw our guns the power goes out and everything is engulfed into an eerie silence. We soon here a few single gunshots which I assume are the attackers downstairs, making sure that their fallen enemies are dead.

After a few minutes, the dreary silence is back and I can't help but think that Kate and I are the only ones left. There's nothing coming in through our radios but static. No word on the president, his family, or who the hell these people are.

**Oooo suspenseful right? Squeee I love it. Leave your thoughts my lovelies!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: More suspense! DUN…DUN…DUNNNNNN**

**This chapter is dedicated to iTrick for being the 300th review on this story! Whoo! Enjoy! **

**Casey POV **

This cannot be happening right now. This just can't be happening. This is all a really bad nightmare and I'm going to wake up soon and then later on today I'll see my best friends and I'll tell them about it, and then we'll laugh together about it and talk about how impossible something like this is. That's all. It's just a nightmare. At least, that's what I've been telling myself for the past ten minutes.

My head feels like it's killing me and the very last thing I remember before blacking out is a bunch of masked men bursting into to the meeting room holding us at gun point. I don't remember what happened after that, but now that I've come too, I realize my hands are tied behind my back and there's some sort of cloth over my mouth.

I glance to my right and I see Serena breathing heavily with tears flowing freely down her face. I send her an apologetic yet comforting look in an attempt to try to get her to calm down. I turn to my left and I see Kim struggling in an attempt to free her self from the plastic ties that has us confined to a metal bar behind us. I shake my head at her in a silent command to tell her to stop trying before she hurts her self.

Okay so obviously this is no dream and my heart rate gradually begins to increase as I slowly begin to realize that. What's going on? Why is this happening? Where's my family? Who are these people and where did they come from? The white house is supposed to be most protected and fortified building in America! How in the hell were terrorists able to take it down!?

A door opens from somewhere and I see three masked men enter followed my a man who looks to be in charge. He mutters something to the other three men in what sounds like Chinese, Japanese, or Korean, I don't know, it all sounds the same to me. The three men nod simultaneously and lower their weapons as a sadistic smile spreads across his face.

"Isn't it funny how one man can single handedly take down America's castle in less than twenty minutes?" he asks rhetorically before chuckling darkly. "Isn't it just hilarious how one man can strike fear into the hearts of thousands and thousands Americans around the nation? Isn't it hysterical that one man can be responsible for the fall of America's 'royal family'? I think it's hilarious. What about you?" he pauses with a raised eyebrow before he chuckles darkly once again. "Oh that's right, you can't talk can you? Where are my manners?"

I inch away as far as I can as his hand creepily ghosts across my face before he pulls the gag away from my mouth. If he were any closer I swear I would try to bite his fingers off, but obviously he's a smart man who has been keeping things like that in mind.

"You know, I have all of this nation's assets at my fingertips now." he continues on in the sadistically calm voice of his. "With you here, your father will do anything and everything that I ask for in exchange for keeping you alive."

"There are people who will find you and kill you, you bastard." I spit venomously, my anger deepening when all he seems to do is laugh at my deathly threat. Okay, I admit, I'm really not in the position to be making threats but still.

He chuckles and raises his eyebrows at me expectantly. "And who would that be? All of my men have completely wiped out your father's secret service. There's not a single one of them who is alive in this building. If any military force sets foot on the premises, I will personally send you out to them in pieces and we wouldn't want that now would we? We wouldn't want the first daughter to experience such a gruesome death." He finishes off with a laugh before that damn smile returns. "I wonder, how would the press react if I released the batter and mangled body of what _used_ to be a senator's daughter hm?"

I glance to my left again and see that Kim has paled at least five shades. I narrow my eyes and purse my lips into a tight line. "If you've got a problem with my father then your problem is with me, but you leave them out of this. They've got nothing to do with anything you want."

"On the contrary, I'm sure that while I'm busy keeping you hostage I could use them for…other activities." He purrs deviously as he runs his hand up the inside of Kim's thigh, causing her to flinch and go rigid under his touch. His focus on Kim is broken when everyone's attention is drawn to Serena's quiet sobbing. "And what have we here?"

"Hey, I said leave my friends alone." I shout loudly, not really anticipating the hard slap across the face that I receive in response to my outburst. The slap leaves a stinging, burning sensation to the side of my face and because he struck with a back hand, it makes it all the more painful. Tears of fear and pain sting my eyes and I now keep myself from sobbing. "W-what do you want?"

"I want what any other person in my country wants. I want to take down America." He growls before slapping me again.

I can't help but wonder if Alex is still alive and if she is, is she coming for me. I wonder if she knows that my family has been taken and these sadistic people are holding us here. If there's ever a moment that I need her, it's now.

"It is to my understanding, that your father is one of the three people that has the launch code to your nation's nuclear army, no?" he continues on as he whips out a knife from his back pocket. "How much information would your father give up for a life?"

"He won't tell you anything." I respond darkly.

"We'll see about that." He growls in response before he storms forward and cuts the ties on Kim's wrists. He drags her to her feet and forces her out the door followed closely by the three masked men.

Serena begins sobbing again and it nearly kills me that I can give her a comforting hug right now. I just hope that I didn't just get my best friend killed. Where is Alex? Is she even still alive? And if she is, is there any chance of her finding us?

* * *

**General POV **

Shin Jung Hahn scowls deeply as her forces the senator's daughter into the next room housing the rest of the hostages. He shoves the girl to the floor in front of the president, first lady, vice president, and the old lady.

"Good to see that my hospitality has been kept up to your liking, Mr. President." Hahn sneers demonically as he flashes the knife once again. "You feel like giving up that code yet?"

Darren sets his face in stone and glares hard at the man that has taken him and his family hostage. "What have you done with my daughter?" he asks firmly, purposefully bypassing the question.

Hahn clicks his tongue in disgust and instead of responding, he lands a hard kick to Kim's ribs, causing her to scream out in pain. "I'm not going to stop until you give me what I want." He sneers back. "This one will just be a pitiful example of what I would do to your daughter. The code, _sir_."

The president squeezes his eyes shut as he looks away from his captor. He knows that he would be putting the entire nation at risk if he gave up his code to this man, but at the same time, he cannot watch this sick bastard beat his daughter's best friend to a bloody pulp.

Apparently the president takes far too long to respond, because Hahn grows impatient and he yanks the senator's daughter to her feet by her hair. He lands a hard right hook to the side of her face causing her to fall to the floor again where he kicks her in the ribs once more. Her smirks at the satisfying sound of her cracked bones and laughs menacingly when spurts of blood explode from her mouth upon coughing.

"She's making quite a mess of the place, don't you think?" Hahn chuckles as he drags Kim to her feet once again. He wraps his hand tightly around her throat and holds the knife steadily over one of her main arteries. "The code…" he growls out as he ignores the strangled choking sounds of the girl before him.

"I can't…" Darren says quietly as he looks away once again.

"Darren." Casey's mother, Carolyn gasps as she looks at her husband with fearful eyes. Is he seriously going to let this girl die in front of them?

Hahn face morphs into dark frustration and roughly flings Kim to the ground for a third time. He lands several vicious kicks to her midsection once again before he points a firm finger at the president. "Then her blood is on your hands. Just like the blood of your entire secret service." He growls before he has two of his men drag a semi conscious Kim from the bunker, leaving her blood trail streaked across the floor.

He follows his men to the upper levels of the white house where they drag Kim to the north entrance of the white house. He nudges her in the ribs with the toe of his boot and a satisfied smirk spreads across his lips when she groans in pain.

"Stand up." Hahn demands as he gives her another nudge. "STAND UP."

"I-I can't…" Kim whimpers quietly. Blood pours from her mouth as she sobs and her body and ribs scream with pain with every move she makes. She can't hide the dyer yelp that escapes her lips when she is forcefully pulled to her feet. "P-please…"

"Walk." Hahn commands as he shoves her towards the door, nearly causing her to lose her footing. "I said WALK!"

Kim winces as she forces her body to keep her on her feet. She wraps an arm around her stomach and begins to stagger towards the outside like she's been instructed. With each step that she takes her ribs scream in protest and she feels like her body is going to give up on her.

"Make it look good for the press." Hahn growls darkly as he directs one of his men to aim his weapon at the back of the battered woman's head.

Kim swallows the lump in her throat and tries to ignore the pounding in her chest as she makes her way out onto the steps of the white house. In the distance she can see what looks like the military but from where she is standing, she can't be positively sure.

Swallowing thickly once again, she knows that she is about to die. She knew that when they dragged her from the room that they have ever intention to kill her and they have every intention to kill her in front of the billions of people watching. Including her mother, the senator. The senator that is always busy and had little to no time for anything personal wise. All she wishes it that she had been able to spend time with her mother before her final hours of life.

"I love you Mom." She whispers to her self seconds before the shot rings out.

**Damn, I've done it again, haven't I? Suspense! I love it! Lol, leave your thoughts? **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Another chapter! Enjoy!**

**Alex POV **

Two gunshots combine in the air to sound like one. Unfortunately, neither is faster nor slower than the other and they both reach their targets at the exact same time. The silence after the gunfire is heavy in the air except for the shuffling of feet as they retreat back towards the bunker.

I shakily lower my gun and peer around the corner to the body of a terrorist lying sprawled out on the floor amongst the lifeless corpses of the secret service. I place my gun back on my hip and quietly emerge from around the corner to make sure that my bullet reached its mark. I kick the weapon away from the man's lifeless hand and check a pulse to make sure that he's dead.

"Alex…" I hear Kate's soft voice whisper somewhere behind me. I spin around and see her outside between the two pillars, standing above the lifeless body of an innocent young woman. Tears well up in my eyes, and I can't look as I realize that if I were only three seconds faster, then maybe she would still be alive. If I were only half a second faster, there would be a chance that she could've walked out of her alive but instead, she had to endure a pointless public death, and it's all because I wasn't fast enough.

"Alex, it's not your fault." Kate says quietly as she reads the expression on my face.

"I wasn't fast enough. I was the fastest shot in my class and I still wasn't fast enough." I murmur as I stare down at my lover's best friend. Her lifeless eyes are wide with unspoken fear and there's a dark pool of blood beneath her forming from the fatal hole in her head.

There is more silence before Kate speaks up once again. "We need to get down to that bunker. That's where he has to be keeping them."

"I'm not leaving her here." I say quietly but firmly. "We will get to them, but I'm not going to leave her lying her just like everyone else."

Kate sighs heavily and drags her fingers roughly through her hair. "There are Marines just beyond the fence over there. We've taken out most of the balcony and roof snipers so you should be able to get there unscathed. I'll cover you from here just incase."

I nod my head as I squat down to scoop Kim into my arms before I cast Kate another knowing glance. I take a deep breath before I descend the stairs and make the trek across the lawn to the military that's on the other side of the fence. Despite being deadweight, Kim isn't heavy in the slightest and the journey across the north lawn takes far less time than I had anticipated with my quick but careful stride.

As I reach the fence, I see several marines preparing to greet me. I hear a woman's voice before I see her and soon I think dark haired woman is shoving her way through the crowd of military officers. My heart drops to my shoes as I immediately recognize who she is.

"Oh my god," she gasps as tears immediately fill her eyes and she places a hand over her mouth. "My baby…"

"I-I'm so sorry Senator…" I say quietly as Senator Claire Greyleck makes her way over towards me.

"My baby's gone…" she whispers as she brushes a stray hair away from her daughter's face. "He killed my baby…" she continues on. "I-I didn't spend that much time with her. Oh god, she's gone…"

A military officer approaches us and holds out his arms where I hand him the senator's daughter. "Ma'am…I'm so sorry." he says gruffly not wanting to disturb the hysterical woman.

I feel like I've worn out my welcome and I turn to go back when I feel someone tugging on my arm. I turn back and face the senator who is looking at me through red rimmed eyes. "Agent…please…find the man that did this to her…don't let him do it to anyone else."

I nod my head in confirmation before I break off into a sprint back towards the powerless white house. When I meet back up with Kate all I can do is hope that she has a plan for what we're going to do and how we're going to get down into that bunker to save the others before this bastard takes another innocent life.

"Her eyes Kate…they were just so…scared. She still looked so scared Kate and I just…I should have been faster." I say quietly even though I know Kate heard me loud and clear. She can tell me a thousand times that it wasn't my fault but I still can't help but feel like I should have been faster. I feel like I should have been quicker than the other man. I should have been able to save her.

* * *

**General POV **

"Casey, what if he's killed her! What if…what if he kills us next? Oh god, Case, I'm not ready to die yet, I'm not!" Serena sobs hysterically, after having been able to work the gag from her mouth. "What if she's not going to come back?"

"Serena, I'm going to need you to calm down okay?" Casey instructs her hysterical friend. "Kim…Kim's going to be fine alright? She's going to be fine because that's who she is. She's going to be okay just like we're going to be okay. Alex is gong to come for us, I know she is."

"What if Alex is dead Casey!? Have you even considered that!?" Serena shouts, startling the redhead with her sudden outburst. "What if everyone out there is dead and there is no one who is going to save us because this crazy man is going to let us die in her after he blows up the country! Oh god, I'm just so worried about Kim…"

Casey swallows the nervous lump in her throat and she can't help but feel this sick knot in the pit of her stomach that gives her a very bad feeling about something. "She's going to be fine Rena…she's got to be. When we get out of this the three of us are going to go to the beach just like we had planned too because Kim had never been to the beach. We're going to go to the beach and we're going to have a whole hang out vacation because that's what best friends do, but you have to calm down."

Serena closes her mouth and jerkily nods her head though her heavy, rapid breathing doesn't seem to be subsiding at all. "I just want to get out of here Casey. I want to get out of here so I can go home and sleep in my bed and all of this will just go away. I'm so scared…"

"I know you're scared. I'm scared too, b-but everything will be okay. I know it will." Casey responds, though whether she's trying to reassure Serena or her self, she's not exactly sure. She twists against the ties on her hands and sighs in defeat when she realizes that there's no way that she's going to be able to get them off.

Meanwhile, in the next bunker room, Hahn stares down at the exasperated president while he kicks the now lifeless body of the vice president out of his way. "Next will be your mother you pathetic piece of trash." He spits angrily, pointing his knife at the elderly woman who has strangely been able to remain calm through out the whole situation.

Darren's eyes widen and he glances over at his mother who has her eyes shut and seems to be resting. "You sick bastard, you leave my family out of this. If your problem is with me then you deal with me but you will not mess with my family."

"Seems to me that the other two didn't seem to matter to you then." Hahn chuckles teasingly. "You let me kill a senator's daughter in front of billions of people and you just let your own vice president bleed out on the floor right in front of you all for what? A measly set of numbers? All of this will be over if you will just give up your code."

"Darren, give him the code." Carolyn says quietly, not wanting to witness the demise of her own mother in law. "We can't let anyone else die because of this."

"If I give him the code, it will be the end of the country!"

"Then so be it! Are you going to let him stand there and murder your own mother right in front of you!? If you don't do it for your mother, do it for your daughter who loves her grandmother more than anything."

Darren closes his eyes another time and lets out an agitated puff of air through his nose. "Echo 1-9-4-6-7-3-5-6-7-5-2-1-5" he recites out much to his captors delight.

Hahn enters the code into the database computer and a sick smile spreads across his face as a ten minute countdown clock appears on the screen. "Congratulations Mister President. You've just blown up all of America." He snarks before laughing a devious yet menacing laugh.

Hahn pauses when he hears a series of gunshots coming from the other room and he immediately rushes over to see who and what the noise is coming from. Upon stepping through the door to the other room, he scowls in anger when he sees that two of his other hostages have disappeared. He is about to turn back towards the president when a well place kicked lands to face, knocking him off his feet in an instant.

He scowls as he does a sweep kick and knocks his enemy off her feet just in enough time for him to gain the upper hand. He flicks out his knife and drives it deep into Alex's shoulder causing her to scream in pain.

Alex winces at the blade in her shoulder but quickly remembers a move that Olivia had taught her back when they were doing hand to hand training at the gym in New York. She takes advantage of her opponents position and wraps both of her legs around his head in head in a neck long. She applies an extraneous amount of pressure to his head and he yells just moments before there is a sickening crack of his neck. Alex then removes the blade from her shoulder and stabs it deep into his head, driving the blade into his brain.

With a sigh, she shoves her deceased opponent out of the way and then proceeds into the bunker room where the rest of the first family has been held captive. "Mister President, are you alright Sir?" she asks hastily as she rushes over and begins to untie him. Despite how she feels about him, it's her job to protect him before anything.

As soon as his hands are free he bolts towards the database compute and immediately begins entering another code. After almost five minutes of deadly silence, the 'deactivation' message appears on the screen, drawing a sigh of relief from everyone in the room.

"I've never been so glad to see you Cabot." He says gruffly, though his tone and face display his gratitude.

"Um…thank you, sir?" Alex replies, not really sure if she should see it as a compliment or not. "If you don't mind me saying Sir, I think that it's time we get you and your family out of here."

"I would say that I would have to agree with you on that."

* * *

**Alex POV**

As we exit the bunker and make our way back outside of the house, I am immediately greeted with a pair of arms wrapping tightly around my neck. I immediately recognize Casey's perfume and I hug her back with everything I have.

"I thought I lost you." she whispers as she pulls away to reveal the tears that are streaming down her cheeks. "I thought you weren't coming."

"_I_ thought I lost _you_." I respond as I wipe away her tears with my thumb. "I promised you that I'd always come for you and I promised I'd always protect you."

Without any other words, she presses forward and kisses me hard on the lips in front of her parents, the military, the press, and probably all of America who is watching the news. Well, so much for keeping our relationship a secret.

"Oh my god!"

Our happy moment is broken by Serena's hysterical scream accompanied by her sobbing. It isn't until then that I recall that neither of them knew of their best friend's demised, and my guess is that Serena just found out.

"Alex…" Casey whispers before she turns to me with fearful tears in her eyes. "Kim…is she…?"

"I'm so sorry Case…" I whisper. As soon as the words leave my mouth she breaks down and cries in my arms. "I'm so sorry."

"She didn't deserve to die…she didn't…" Casey cries as she pulls away from my embrace. A look of anger seems to cross her face but just as soon as it's there, it's gone. "It's not fair, Al, it's just not fair…"

"I know it isn't sweetheart…I know…"

She pulls away from me one last time and looks at me with concern. "Alex…Baby you're bleeding."

It isn't until then that I remember the deep stab wound in my shoulder. I suppose that being so caught up in everything I didn't notice. My body takes notice to all of the extensive blood loss and suddenly, my world goes black.

**Was wondering if some of you thought that I wouldn't really kill someone. But…yeah, I did. Shame on me. Anyhow, leave your thoughts?**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Glad you guys enjoyed the last chapter! Sadly, I must say that this is the second to last chapter for this story :( and the next chapter will be an epilogue that will hopefully be updated tomorrow. So until then, enjoy!**

**Alex POV **

I open my eyes to the sound of beeping, humming machines and the buzzing of light fixtures. I open my eyes to the sight of a surrounding that is way too bright for my liking. I turn my head and meet the most beautiful emerald green eyes that I have ever seen in my life. God, how I love her eyes.

"Hey." Casey says quietly as she brushes a strand of my hair behind my ear. Just her touch alone lights my body aflame and I get tingles all over.

"Hey." I respond as I give her my best smile despite my drowsiness from this damned medication that I was forcefully given.

"How're you feeling?" she asks me after studying me carefully for a few moments longer.

I shift in the bed and it isn't until I shift that I realize the dull aching pain in my entire right arm. I wince as the dull aching pain intensifies upon my movements. "Arm hurts." I hiss through grit teeth before I settle into a more comfortable position. "Other than that I feel great."

Casey gives me a firm look that says she doesn't believe anything that I'm saying and I put on my best innocent smile to try to thwart those thoughts. "Do you need medicine? I can go get a doctor." She informs me as she begins to stand up from her chair.

"No. Stay." I beckon as I grab her hand with my good arm and pull her back towards the bed. I bring the back of her hand to my lips and I breathe in deeply, inhaling her beautiful scent properly. "I just want to be alone with you for right now."

A smile spreads across her perfect lips and she nods as she takes a seat back in her chair. She scoots closer to the bed and presses those perfect lips against my cheek. "You're a hero Baby." She whispers, her breath ghosting against my skin.

I can feel the blush creeping up to my face and I duck my head and turn away towards the opposite wall. "I'm hardly a hero Casey." I mutter in response, and I know I'm right. I wouldn't really classify myself as a hero so I don't know why she would say something like that. I just did what my heart told me I had to do.

"Alex, you're quick thinking practically saved the country."

"But my slow movements lost an innocent life in the process…"

Casey falls silent after that. I can see the tears welling up in her eyes but her emotional barrier is keeping them from falling. "What happened wasn't your fault." She says firmly.

I shake my head in the negative and go back to staring at the wall away from her. I can't look her in the eyes right now. Not after what happened. Not after what I couldn't do. What I failed to do. "Why couldn't I have been faster?" I whisper, more to myself than to anyone else. "I should have saved her."

"It's not your fault. We all know that and I'm positive that she knows that too." Casey responds sadly as those same tears threaten to fall. I reach up with my good hand and wipe her tears away with my thumb before I gently begin to caress the soft skin of her cheek.

"You're beautiful." I whisper lovingly before I draw her closer so I could take her lips in my own. This moment is perfect to me despite the circumstances. It's perfect and I just want time to freeze so I can live in this moment forever.

Because my injury only required stitches, I am able to be released the following morning. Casey has insisted that she drive me to my apartment, even though I feel like I'm more than capable of making it there on my own. I'm tired of hospitals. I'm tired of being poked and prodded like some sort of science experiment and I'm tired of the freaking medication that I'm probably not even going to look at once I leave this place.

As I adjust my arm in this stupid sling, I prepare to leave my hospital room when another presence stops me dead in my tracks. I freeze on the spot when I come face to face with Casey's father, the president himself. Great, because this is just what I need right now. All I want is to be able to get out of here and go home so I can sleep in my own bed, but obviously some unknown force of nature has plenty of other ideas for me.

"Cabot, a word?" he questions firmly, continuing on when I give a quick yet hesitant head nod. "Why should I approve of you seeing my daughter?"

Of course that's what this is about; I should have known. "Um…Sir, I'm not sure if."

"Just answer the question." He interrupts me firmly. "Tell me why I should give any approval of you being involved with her."

I take a deep breath and briefly glance down at my shoes as I realize just where this is going. "Listen, Sir, I know that you have your doubts about me and I know you have my doubts about my relationship with Casey. But with all due respect, I love your daughter. I love her past my mind and past my body. Words can't even begin to describe the amount of love that I feel for her. I-I know that I might not be in her league and I might not be what she deserves but I love her with everything that I have. There's not a thing in the world that I wouldn't do for her and there isn't anything in the world that I would not give up for her. I'd give her my life if she asked me for it. I'd give her pretty much anything that I could and then some. I-I might not be able to take care of her like she should be taken care of but I would most definitely try my hardest to come pretty damn close. I would sell all of my possessions if it meant getting her what she needs and when she needs it. She's…amazing, Sir, and I just…I love her with my everything. I might not be good enough for her in your eyes right now, but I'm going to try my hardest to make sure that I can be. I'm not asking for much here, but all I'm asking is that you give me a chance. All I want is a chance to show you how much she means to me."

He remains silent for quite along time after my little spiel and I swear that my heart is pounding so loud that the people in the next room can probably hear it. After a moment of dreadful and deadly silence, he speaks again with a firm calmness in his voice. "She might be in her twenties, but she is still my little girl. You promise me that you'll take good care of her?"

"Yes Sir, I promise." I say quickly as I vigorously nod my head.

Just then, the unthinkable happens. He extends his hand to me. I think that I'm so in shock that for a total of ten seconds, I have no idea of what I'm supposed to do with the gesture. I swallow the thickness in my throat and reach out with my good hand to shake his. Just from the firmness of the handshake I can tell that he's giving me his trust in approval.

"Then I approve." He says with a light tint in his voice. "But just know, that if you hurt her in anyway, dealing with me is going to be the very least of your worries."

"Oh, yes Sir, I know. I swear I'll treat her like a princess." I respond with a small smile on my face in which he returns.

He returns my smile before he nods his head towards my shoulder. "You take care of that arm. You're one of my best agents and I can't have you walking patrol on handicap."

"Yes Sir." I say with an amused smile as I give him a firm nod. I can't believe it. Casey's dad, the President of the Untied States, just gave me the approval to see her romantically. I feel like I'm dreaming. It's a dream that I don't want to wake up from.

* * *

**A Week Later**

"Baby, I'm sure that you'll be fine. Are you sure you don't want me to drive out there? It'll take me no time at all."

I shake my head but then I remember that I'm alone and Casey can't see me shaking my head through the phone. "N-no. This is something that I need to do on my own." I respond shakily as I try to internally calm my nerves.

"Alright, but if you need anything, please let me know." she says comfortingly before her voice goes stern. "And take your medication because I know you haven't."

I roll my eyes before I pop a pill into my mouth and down it with half a bottle of water. "Fine, I took it. Are you happy now?" I reply exasperatedly which only seems to add to her amusement.

"Yes, I'm much happier now. Be safe and call me when you're on your way back? And tell me how it goes?"

"I promise to call you as soon as I'm headed back. I love you."

"I love you too. Bye Honey."

"Bye…"

As we end the phone call, I slip my phone back into the pocket of my hoodie and exit my car. I swallow thickly once again as I slowly make my way up the cobblestone pathway to the large house that looks like it's big enough to have wings.

Because my nerves are so shot right now, it's easy to ignore the dull aching in my arm. I'm more focused on what I'm about to do and too be honest, it's making me more and more nervous by the second.

I reach the door and wait probably a good five minutes before I gain the courage to reach up and ring the doorbell. As soon as the bell sounds, I want to turn around and sprint to my car but some unknown force is keeping me rooted to the porch and prevents me from doing so. Minutes, but it feels like hours, after I ring the doorbell, the door swings open and I'm standing face to face with a blonde woman who has my eyes.

"Yes, can I help you?" she says politely as she gives me a welcoming smile.

"Uh, yeah, I-I…um…I'm looking for Veronica Cabot…" I stutter aimlessly as I nervously rub at the back of my neck. I tend to do that when I get nervous, I guess it's just some sort of habit.

"That's me. What can I help you with?" she continues on, that smile not leaving her face, though I can tell that she's quite curious on who I am.

I take a deep breath as I shift awkwardly from one leg to the other. "I…well…m-my name is Alex…Cabot." I trail off awkwardly, not really knowing how else I can introduce myself.

As soon as I tell her my name, realization dawns on her face and her smile fades into an expression of pure shock. She puts her hand over her mouth and stares at me as if just her looking at me is going to make me disappear and she's trying to take me in as much as possible.

"Oh my god…how did you…is it really you?" she whispers, probably more to her self than to me as if she's trying to test the reality of the situation. I swear that I see tears welling up in her eyes but whether they're tears of joy or disdain, I'm not sure.

Anything and everything that I had at first planned to say flies out the window. I nod my head before I duck down and suddenly become most interested in the design of the porch. "I-I…yeah…u-um…are you my mom?" I ask quietly, my voice sounding small and childlike.

She responds with the same head nod that I had given her not even thirty seconds prior. She shakes her head and clears her throat as she attempts to keep her mood in check. "I'm sorry, where are my manners. Please…please come in." she says as she steps to the side and ushers me inside.

I step over the threshold and I immediately take in the beauty of the house. It's nothing like it was in my dream. Hell, I think it's better than it was in my dream. I admire the art work and furnishings displayed around the house as she leads me into a large open room with many windows.

"Please…sit." She stutters out as she motions towards one of the sofas. "Can I get you anything? Water? Tea? Anything at all? Please, don't hesitate to ask."

"No thank you, I'm fine." I respond as I shake my head. I stare down at my hands as I realize I don't know what to say to her.

She sits down next to me on the sofa and we are encased in a rather uncomfortable silence. I don't know how we are supposed to go about this and I can clearly tell, neither does she. I have several questions that I want to ask, but I have no idea how I'm supposed to get into them.

"You must have hundreds of questions." She says quietly, thankfully breaking the awkward silence between the two of us.

I nod my head and continue to stare intently at my hands. "W-why'd you give me away?" I ask quietly, still not looking up into her eyes that I know are watching me. If I'm going to start, I may as well start at the beginning and not tiptoe around the bush.

"I didn't want to. I swear to you I didn't." she responds, just as quiet. I can tell that she knew this was going to be coming eventually with me showing up on her doorstep.

"I grew up alone." I continue on, about to tell her something that I haven't told anyone other than maybe two people in my whole entire life. "I grew up alone as an orphan and it was like no one was there. I didn't have any parents like most normal children do. I-I would always hold onto the hope that maybe it was a mistake because I didn't want to fully accept that my parents didn't want me. There was no one to congratulate me on anything I accomplished, there was no one I could share things with, there was just no one at all. All my life it's like I've just had to take care of myself and I told myself that if I ever met you that I would ask you this question. Why?"

She closes her eyes and when she opens them again, tears involuntarily spill down her cheeks. "When I was pregnant with you, I was sixteen. I was sixteen and scared. Your father's family they…they didn't want him to be associated with me as long as I was pregnant at such a young age and they refused to provide any financial aid. My family was very poor and I couldn't support a child. I didn't want to give away my baby. I didn't. The least that Robert, your father, let me do was name you and give you his last name. I tried everything I could to keep you but…I'm so sorry."

I go back to staring at my hands again upon hearing her revelation. I don't know what to think anymore. I was a mistake but she wanted to keep me anyway? I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.  
"Where is he now?" I ask quietly, in reference to the man that is responsible for making my life hell.

"He's away on business. He's always very busy and there is very little time that he's ever home." she responds sadly.

I open my mouth to say more but a presence in the room draws my attention away from her. I look up to see a teenage girl lingering in the door of the room hesitantly. She's looking at me with curious eyes and I can't help but think of how much she reminds me of myself.

"Mom…?" she says quietly as she enters the room and stands next to her mother, not once taking her eyes off of me.

"McKenzie…" Veronica says quietly as she stands up from the sofa. I can tell she doesn't know how to introduce me, but that's okay; I wouldn't know how to introduce me either. "This…this is…"

"Alex…" I finish off for her as I extend my hand towards the teen. "I'm Alex…"

"I'm Kenzie." She responds as she slowly shakes my hand. "Are you…are you my sister?"

A small smile flits across my face before I nod my head. "I-yeah, I guess so…" I respond lightly.

Once again, the unthinkable happens, she moves forward and hugs me. It's not just an awkward hug either, it's a full on long lost sister meeting hug. And you know what? I hug her back. I hug her back like we've known each other all our lives and strangely, I feel like we have even though we've just met.

As I pull away from the hug with my younger sister, I turn towards Veronica and speak the word that I've always dreamt of speaking ever since I was a little kid.

"Mom." I say in a strangled voice as I hug her. As she wraps her arms around me I can't stop the tears from flowing from my eyes. I feel like a little kid all over again, but this time, everything's different. This time I feel loved. This time, I feel wanted.

**I teared up again on this chapter, but this time they were tears of happiness not sadness. Though, I'm still a little sad about Kim's death :( anyhow, leave your thoughts!**


	21. Epilogue

**Casey POV **

_ I can hear the quiet whoosh of the ceiling fan above my head and the air that it's throwing around the room bounces against my skin in a strict contrast to my over headed body. I press myself further into my lover as our lips continue to move in a synchronized dance as if we've practiced to perfect it for millenniums. I can feel her hands at my hips as she pulls me closer to her, our bare bodies pressed flush against each other. _

_ Unfortunately, the anatomy of the human body calls and I have to break away for air which leaves the both of us gasping and panting. I smile and rest my forehead against Alex's, marveling at how even in the dark, I can see the shade of her icy blue eyes perfectly. _

_ "I love you." I whisper affectionately, right as I'm about to lean down to take her lips in my own once again. _

_ "Marry Me." _

_ Whoa. What? That…that is most definitely not what I had been expecting…at all. Out of everything in the world I could've pictured her saying, this was most definitely not on the list at the moment. I'm speechless and I don't have any words right now. It's almost as if someone has taken a giant vacuum and sucked all of the air from my lungs and has put a thick wooden block in the center of my throat that prevents sound from escaping. _

_ Alex exhales through her nose and she squeezes her eyes in what looks like frustration. "That…was not how I planned to do that…at all. I always find a way to fuck up everything…" she mumbles, probably more to her self than to me as she sits up against the headboard which leaves me sitting in her lap, still undoubtedly stunned into silence. _

_ "W-what? Alex I…what?" I croak and stutter. Yep, leave it to me to have a way with words at this moment in time. Of course this is the moment where I go completely stupid and look illiterate and everything else in between. _

_ I watch as Alex reaches over to her nightstand and opens one of the draws. In the dim darkness of the room, I can see that she pulls out a small velvet ring box before she closes the draw and rests against the headboard once again. _

_ "Um…well…I had this whole speech planned out and everything…but I-I've just been so nervous about this I could never really perfect what it was that I wanted to say exactly and I was afraid that I was going to somehow mess this up. I guess I found a way to do that anyway, right? Well I just…it just kinda slipped out. So I guess there's really no simpler way to do this. Casey, I-I love you with my everything. My heart, my body, my mind, my spirit, just…you're this amazing woman and I feel like I'm the luckiest woman on earth to have you in my life like this. I don't want to lose you in anyway so I-I um…will you marry me?" _

_ My mouth falls open as she opens the ring box and presents me with the engagement ring. Once again, that thick brick is back in my throat and I feel tears springing to my eyes as I realize I don't know what to say once again. _

_ "I know it's not much but…I really wanted you to have a ring." She says hopefully as she continues to study my face for any kind of reaction. _

_ This has got to be the most perfect moment in my whole entire life and it's so perfect that I want everything to freeze frame so we can stay just like this forever and ever and ever. _

_ Finally after probably what feels like hours of speechless staring, I slowly nod my head as my tears spill from my eyes and down my cheeks. "Yes…" _

_ "Yes?" Alex repeats as if she's shocked by my own words. "Yes as in you'll…" _

_ "Yes as in I'll marry you." I reiterate as I nod my head once again. My smile widens as she slides the ring on my finger. Her hands are trembling as if her nerves are still getting the best of her and I can't help but think that it's the cutest thing in the world. _

_ As soon as the ring is on my finger I look down to admire it. It may not be the biggest diamond in the world but it came from someone who has a big heart and that's all that really matters to me. _

**Alex POV; Present Time **

I shift awkwardly from foot to foot as I wait for my bride to walk down the aisle. To say that I'm nervous about this would be the biggest understatement in the world. To be honest, when I asked Casey to marry me for a moment I didn't count on her saying yes. I mean, who would want to marry me? Me of all people? But apparently I've been doing something right because she said yes in a heartbeat.

Now, here I am, in the garden of the refurbished white house having an outside wedding and I'm sweating like a hoe in church when it's sixty degrees out here. I feel Kate give my shoulder a reassuring squeeze just as I catch a glimpse of Casey walking towards me on her father's arm. God she looks even more gorgeous than she already does on a daily basis. Her dress makes her look like the princess that she is and her hair falls in beautiful crimson curls down her back.

As we lock eyes, a smile slowly spreads across her face and just the brightness of her smile warms my heart to the core. Just as she reaches the altar, her father gives her a kiss on the cheek and moves to the side to take his seat. I reach out and Casey graciously takes my hand as we move to stand in front of the man that is going to marry us.

All through the formalities, I can't help but get lost in Casey's eyes as I begin to think about our future together. Where will we go from here? What does this mean for both of our respective life styles? My job? Will we have children together? And if we do, what will they be like? Will they be like me? Will they be like Casey? The questions are endless and endless and for a second it's almost way too much for me to handle at one time.

I'm brought back to reality when I feel a light squeezing of my hands and I look to Casey who has a feint blush creeping up her neck but a small grin on her face. Great, what've I just done and not realized it?

"Well, now that Miss Cabot, has come down from the clouds, I'll ask my question again," the man chuckles lightly which causes me to flush a deep red. "Do you, Alexandra Cabot take Cassandra Novak to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I-I do." I stutter out but say probably far to quicker than necessary.

"Then if no person here has any objection to this marriage, you may now kiss your bride."

I smile as I move forward and place a gentle chaste kiss on Casey's lips. Our audience erupts into applause and cheers and a few 'whoops' as Casey deepens our kiss. As we pull away from each other, Casey nuzzles into my neck and chuckles lowly. "You've gotta start paying more attention." She whispers though I can tell she's joking.

"When I have a woman as beautiful as you are standing in front of me, it's kind of hard to pay attention to anything else." I respond before I give her another quick peck on the lips. "You know I love you right?"

"Mmm, you're never going to have to remind me of that." she purrs smiling deviously. "But we'll see if you'll even be able to remember your own name after our honeymoon."

"Three weeks. An exotic island with the most gorgeous woman on the planet? Eh, I think I'll pass and just watch football all week." I say nonchalantly, smirking when Casey gives me a look of disapproval. "You know I'm kidding."

"You'll see how my of a 'kidder' I am when I have you locked in a bedroom screaming my name for hours." She whispers hotly in my ear before she pulls back and turns to wave at our guests.

This woman is going to be the death of me.


End file.
